JFF Working Moms Best Excuse

I don't call in sick unless I'm sick. I did it once and felt guilty ALL day long.

So if I need a day off, I just take leave. After all, I earned it.

And my boss is awesome, so if I need to leave, I just tell him. No need for excuses.

ETA: "My give-a-damn is busted."

I call in that I am not coming in.

I know when our non professional staff calls in it can be funny. They feel like they need to make these airtight excuses but by the time they are done they sound like fantasy. My favorite though is when they fake a lost voice. Seriously? Do you realize how few illnesses cause a loss of voice? I could tell you the name of 10 employees that always lose their voice, for one day, then they are fine the next day, amazing.

If you can't tell even our non professional staff is not held to excuses either so it is kind of silly that they don't just say, not coming in.

We had one that came up with such fantastic excuses we probably should use it as a basis to start a book. Her mom died at least six time, grandma four, at one point mom died but they are keeping her on ice cause grandma could go any day... One day on her way to work a lady in the grocery store handed her her baby so she could run out to her car and never came back so she brought the baby home and called the police.

She was carjacked once but they returned her car later that night...

I miss her stories.....

I need a mental health break and if you don't let me go, you'll be sorry because I'm so brain dead I can't do anything right!

I work in the legal field. There is a VERY fine line between us and the crazies!

This wasn't a made up excuse just a time when I called in sick and my boss didn't believe me. I was still living with my parents on their dairy farm, which is 6 miles out of one very small town and 10 miles out of another small town. It was 2 or 3 months after having my son.

We just got dumped on with snow. The city does not plow our street. The only people on our street are us, my grandparents who are in their late 80s, and my grandparent's friends who are in their early 90s. There is one other house that belongs to my great great aunt, but nobody lives in it anymore.

Anyways, we got dumped on with snow. There is absolutely no way I am making it out of our driveway, let alone down the mile long road that the city doesn't plow. My parent's couldn't afford to call a plow driver at that point (You know the awesomeness of living off of farm funds). I was supposed to go to work that morning, so I called in and told them I was snowed in. My boss, who is such a city person, told me to grab a shovel and dig myself out. I tried to explain that it was a little more complicated than that and told him how long my driveway was and how long the other road was. A shovel just wasn't going to cut it. He wouldn't except my excuses.

I should add at this point that I barely ever called in. Plus, the store I was working at was a small store in a small town. ON A GOOD DAY we maybe got 5 customers an hour (Store has since gone out of business). So on a day like that where it had just snowed, we were barely going to get any customers. There really wasn't a reason for me to be there other than that my boss wanted me there so that he could go back to watching TV in the break room like he always did.

My mom and dad were out there for HOURS trying to clear the road for me (I had to stay inside and watch Oliver). My dad even took a tractor out and tried to clear some of the path with that (Bad idea for an old tractor like ours, almost got that stuck too). This whole time I was taking pictures with my camera to prove how bad it really was.

Finally, 2 hours away from the end of my 8 hour shift I was able to get to work. I showed my boss the pictures, and he was like 'Well, you still managed to get here'. Ya... After 6 hours of unnecessary work by my parents.

He hadn't had a single customer all day and I only had one come in after I got there. Urg... Jerk.

there are two many times somethnig actually comes up to use an excuse.

NOW going in late. I have excuses

flat tire
ran out of gas
but most of the time i J. say i'm coming in late i'll make it up x day

Not sure I have ever used one that wasn't a sick reason. I do recall having to phone my boss because my husband was in the ER pending an emergency appendectomey at 6 am one morning. Usually, it is someone else's sickness that causes me to be home. The farm excuse sound so much more intriguing than my DD has diarrhea or a fever! LOL

Its because of this that my employer switched from a vacation and holiday and paid sick day to a PTO policy. Everything is now a paid time off day, you get so many a year, and you can use them however you choose, even at a moment's notice.

I've been out from work for improbable, but true reasons though, including these zany ones-
Invited neighborhood kids to build snowmen on my stoop. Overnight they toppled and froze. My storm door opens outwards. I couldn't get out of the house.
I chewed pepto bismol, rather than swallowing it. It turned my tongue a strange shade of blue black. Not sure if I contracted some strange disease, I reported straight to the office infirmary rather than to my desk.
Noticed the guy sitting next to me on the subway was dead. Reported it to the conductor, got detained for questioning.

Thanks for the giggle.
F. B.

PS- Like I said, improbable, but true. It's just a numbers game. The more people you come into contact with, the more likely you might be in close contact with one who happens to be dead.

Well, actually, Monday I had to take a sick day. My car was stolen sometime Sunday and they totaled it. I think that pretty much takes care of that.

With 4 kids and aging relatives I actually never have to make things up. In the past 6 weeks I've had to change up my schedule (either take it as vacation or end up working later in the day) due to:

- Suspected broken foot for daugther sustained in MMA class (just a sprain)
- School closed 2 days due to Sandy
- GMIL in hospital and we were closest relatives
- 3 no school days and 4 half days in November (all scheduled, ridiculous!)
- Son sustained concussion and needed to be seen by doctors
- Aunt's funeral
- Attending a conference

I've actually gone 5 whole work days without something coming up. Thank goodness I work part of my week from home and my job is flexible!

i don't really make up an excuse- i have plenty of time to take, and only one child so i rarely miss work anyway. and i can say i have NEVER left work in the middle of the day for no reason (only if my child was sick or i was). i might have called in "sick" when it was really more of a "mental health day" lol. but those are few and far between, hasn't happened for ages. i am very blessed that i enjoy my job.

I just say "family stuff" or childcare issues. A couple weeks ago on Monday afternoon I had some major childcare issues that needed to be taken care of... at Disneyland... ;)

And there are also times I really do just have a childcare issue and have to burn my own sick time/personal necessity time because I really just couldn't find someone that day.

I've never made up an excuse, I only miss work if I'm sick or a kiddo is sick or it's a pre-planned off day.

I never feel comfortable just taking off with an excuse. Since I have a little one, now, I force myself to take time for things other than doctor visits. I just take off.