This is more of a JFF question than asking for advice, because I already know that this is not a battle worth fighting, but it is one of those things that deep down makes me a little nutty when it comes to my 4 year old and I know that "this too shall pass."
There are certain things that my daughter gets hung up on having the same all the time and doesn't want changed. For example:
1. She has a CD player in her room for soft music as part of her sleeping routine and we used to be able to rotate the CDs that were played, but then at Christmas time I put the Charlie Brown Christmas CD in, and it's still in there. She won't let us change it or put in something different.
2. She has library day every week at preschool and for the past 3 months she has checked out the same book every time. It's a Ballet ABC book (she recently took some ballet lessons and is now "hooked"). She doesn't even look at the book any longer, or ask to read it at bedtime, but she just keeps bringing it home every week.
3. She has her favorite clothes and pajamas that she would wear every day if she could. If her Ariel dress gets worn once or twice and then has to go in the wash, she will ask every day when it will be clean and she'll be able to wear it again. Same thing with her cupcake nightgown. She knows Mommy is not washing a couple articles of clothing every 3 days just so she can have them all the time. She also understands that she can't call the shots on everything - sometimes she wants to dictate which car we are driving in, or in which order errands need to be run, and I have to remind her that Mommy is the boss, not her.
4. She also insists on getting dressed before I take a shower. Again, it really doesn't matter what happens first - I just tell her it's time to get ready to go, so she either needs to get dressed first or Mommy has to take a shower first (she still sometimes wants my help getting dressed so that's why it ends up being one or the other). She picks getting dressed first every single time.
She isn't like this with much else, although she will go through periods of wanting the same breakfast, the same lunch, etc. for several days in a row before she decides to move on to something else. Right now she's on a kick about having a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast every morning. Before that, it was cereal. The SAME cereal.
Anybody else go through this with their kids, especially at this age? :)
With my kids it was not cloths but what they watch on TV and sometimes what they listen to to go to sleep with. My kids would watch the same movie over and over again and i was thankful they had a tv in their room. With my oldest it was Toy Story 2 and A Bugs Life. With my youngest I can't remember right now.
Yes. Both of my boys MUST have their blankys when going to bed. If blanky is missing, it's not pretty:( When blanky needs a washing, it's not pretty either:( My little guy, 2-1/2, asks for Playdoh all the time. My older son would eat chicken nuggets and grilled cheese for every meal if I'd allow it. You are not alone.
I think it's pretty normal. She likes familiarity, it's comforting to her and she KNOWS how it feels, tastes, etc.
I still don't like CHANGE much, she might have that type of personality.
Best thing to do is make suttle changes without her realizing it.
Don't give her options ALL of the time, sometimes YOU wear the pants and let her know how things are going to be.
When she checks out the same book next week, have her check out a second book as well.
Have her wear diffferent socks with her repetitive outfit.
Put TWO little bowls of different cereal in front of her.
Explain to her why she has many different outfits in her closet and drawers, it's because we usually wear something different each day unless we are a wearing a uniform like a fireman or a nurse, etc.
See all the different boxes of cereal in the grocery store? This is so you dont eat the same thing EVERY day.
Give her little examples of why we don't have to "habit" everything.
She'll figure it out.
My kids are 12 and 9. We literally have the exact same schedule of when we do things every single day, which really helps them since they are ADD and ADHD. However, my 9 yo will eat the exact same thing for breakfast every day for months and then switch and stick to that for months. Breakfast is the only meal that is "fend for yourself". Other than that, they are pretty easy going and don't hyper focus on one specific thing.
They love consistency, don't they?:)
My Kiddo is five now, and there are still certain things he would choose to do each and every time. Right now, it's checking out dinosaur books from the library. We don't really even read them any more (we've read all the age-appropriate ones that he can understand), but he insists we check them out anyway. It's limited to just one per visit now, because he's really been exploring other topics, but we always have to visit the dino section and get at least one....
Fortunately, we don't have to deal with the 'preferred clothing' thing yet. There is now a Music Together cd I'd like to destroy, however. Most of our 'continuity' seeking is expressed when we are out. At the Nursery, he must go see the fountains first thing before I can look at plants. Or if we go downtown, he often lobbies me to go to a rock/fossil shop, so he can play in a pretend 'cave' with their dinosaurs. Never mind that we have a gazillion at home that he might not have played with for days. That's also what he wants to spend his $1 a week allowance on---more dinosaurs. sigh. It's his money, he's five, right? But really, a *third* dimetrodon?
I think this is normal for kids it helps then feel secure. As long as it is not driving you totally nutty then let it be. She will eventually grow out of this but keep offering her different options do not force them.
My daughter had a favorite shirt (we still have it I bought it large). She was wearing this shirt almost every day and with all the washing it looks like it will fall apart at any moment. She is 5 now and still likes the shirt, but will wear different ones now. She also went through a phase of only wanting to eat mac and cheese, but that stopped too.
Every time it is B-----s turn to choose a dvd it is Cars2, Cars, or Maters Tall Tales. Her twin sister likes variety and has many she chooses from. B----- wants to wear her Cars shirt every day and wants one of her Cars pjs every night. T--- (twin sis) often wants Dora pjs, but sometimes chooses penguins or anything else.
Opposite with food!!! B---- will try anything and let you know if she likes it or doesnt. She kind of acts like its an adventure. T--- eats, nuts, peanut butter, pickles, onions, pepperoni (turkey), wheat bread and that's IT! Other than that she just wants junk food all the time, she even asks if she can have canned icing! Just icing, no cupcake or anything with it. She wants pepperoni daily.
Wow she has taken routine to a whole new level! I never had to deal with that much extreme routine, but then I have a boy. Not sure if that makes much of a difference.
If it were me, I would slowly phase out these things in her life...maybe the CD got "lost"...as well as the outfit and pjs. And maybe the store "ran out" of certain bfast items...
