So tonight I'm sitting in the lobby at my daughters dance class and I overhear a bunch of Mom's talking about how they wish their hubby's were home more. Separate conversations between different Mom's kind of struck me odd. I guess I feel very lucky since my hubby is home every night, by 5pm, helps out with school, dance, choir and everything in between.
So my JFF question - How many hours a week does your hubby work?
My husband is the manager of a garden center so he works 50-60 in the off season and 70-80 from late March to early June (12-13 hr days, 6-7 days a week!). I take the kids to all their activities and we're just grateful if he can attend an occasionaly performance or practice.
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S.Q.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
0. Zero, nil, nada, zip, zilch. He worked and worked and worked, then had a major depressive breakdown, and now he won't work.
He sits on the couch watching TV while I work, and look after the kids, and sort out the enormous financial mess he's left me in.
Yes, I am bitter, resentful and I do not like him at the moment.
Actually, this question wasn't that fun for me. Sorry.
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H.G.
answers from
Minneapolis
on
I know you've had a ton of answers but thought I'd share mine also! He works construction so there are days and weeks at a time where he's home but when they have work he leaves the house at 5:30 a.m. and I'm lucky if he's home by 9:30 p.m. It's hard but it's what he does and he is very helpful when he's home which I didn't have with my ex who worked a regular 9-5 job.
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M..
answers from
Detroit
on
Way too many! I miss him and Im tired....
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G.T.
answers from
Redding
on
We work together since we manage an apartment complex, he's my maintenance dude. We work from 9am to 3pm, pretty awesome hours. And I ALWAYS know where he is ;)
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K.J.
answers from
Chicago
on
My hubby leaves every morning between 6 & 7 M-F, and usually returns around 9 or 10 pm. He works 2 Saturdays/month from 8am-6pm, 1 Sat from 8-2 & then has patients in the hospital that he has to round on after that and on 1 Sunday/month. So, he sees our kids before bedtime about once a week, on Sundays. No time to help with school, playing, any activities, which also means that I can't do my own thing (I'd LOVE to join my church choir) without paying a sitter. OK..vent done.
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C.R.
answers from
Kansas City
on
My hubby works anywhere from 40 - 50 hours a week. Some weeks could be less and some could be more. He is a Asst. Banquet Mgr. and works 2pm to 11pm, 12am, 1am, or whatever time the parties/weddings or whatever is going on gets over. He also has to tear down and reset rooms which could add 2 or 3 hours to his day. He works almost every weekend and and most holidays. Needless to say, my two school-aged girls do not get to see daddy during the week unless he has a weekday off. School nights are crazy at my house since it is just me, but I feel like I have a pretty good routine down this year! Yay Me!!! :)
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D.B.
answers from
Charlotte
on
.
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S.K.
answers from
Chicago
on
too many...still waiting for him to get home tonight, just spoke to him and he says he will be leaving in about 20 min, then 40 min drive home, so at least another hour :( If you only count work as out of the house hours I would estimate 80-100 hours, sometimes more (one heavy full time job and another part time job), travels 8-10 times a year for 2-4 days at a time.
As hard as it is to feel like a single mom to 4 kids much of the time, and as much as I would like to complain, I remind myself to appreciate that he has a well paying, stable job, and that his job does not involve risking his life for months at a time in a foreign country. Having him home by 5 every night would be a dream, but many moms are worse off than I am.
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F.D.
answers from
Milwaukee
on
If your husband is home by 5pm, count your blessings and consider yourself lucky! My husband leaves the house around 5am and gets home around 6:30pm. Then he usually has nightly meetings with India or China that are at 8:30 or 9:30pm (due to the time difference). He traveles now and then. I've learned to be thankful he has a good job and put on my big girl panties and deal with it. But, it is very challenging as I am a dance and fitness instructor and work nights and weekends. Finding sitters and rides to sports/activities is difficult. I have NO help with housework, homework, grocery shopping. I mow the lawn and shovel. He does the bills. My husband is my favorite person ever and I hope some day we can spend more time together.
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L.P.
answers from
Pittsburgh
on
Are there a million hours in a week? Because I think he works a million hours...
Really, he gets up early every day and usually sets out to work at his business (building racing engines.) Then 2:00 rolls around, and he's off to his 'job' where he works afternoon shift.
He does make time for us, usually on one or both of his days off, and he's in and out in the mornings before he goes to his real job... when he is home, he does help out, he'll do some laundry, clean up the kitchen, run the vaccuum, that kind of stuff. He maintains our vehicles, and does the yard work... He's a busy guy. And he takes good care of us. I need to tell him that more.
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K.M.
answers from
Denver
on
My hubby usually works 40 hours a week but at least a couple nights a week he has to work till 9, so those nights are a realy bummer because I am home alone all day with the kids (he will work 9-9 those days). Some weeks though he will have 50-60 hours...you are very lucky!
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L.A.
answers from
Austin
on
At his full time job about 45 to 50 hours.
Then he owns his own freelance business so it depends.
Any where from 10 hours per week or 20 hours per week.. Sometimes he takes a week of paid vacation for really big gigs that will last a week and pays way more than his full time job.
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K.R.
answers from
Minneapolis
on
My husband works out of town M-F, so he leaves M morning and we don't see him until F night. I work full time and do everything around the house and all of the care for our daughter during the week.
I'd love some help.
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J.S.
answers from
Minneapolis
on
His goal is 45 hours a week. He commutes to work, so he usually leaves by 7:00 a.m. When the weather is good, he rides his bike. Those days he is not home till after 6:00. Days he rides the bus, he is usually home by 6:00.
We sometimes see him in the a.m. He sometimes is home for dinner. He does bedtime (at 7:30) when he is home.
After dinner, he usually has work to do, but not always.
I'd say most weeks he works 50 hours. When he travels, he works more. He usually does not work on the weekends.
J.
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M.B.
answers from
Orlando
on
On a good week 50, but it can be as many as 60 :(
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M.K.
answers from
Milwaukee
on
He works a lot, like atleast 60 hours a week lately. It is hard, especially since I have two boys who want to spend more time with their Dad and I never get a break from my kids for some "me time". But I just try to remember that atleast he has a job, since he works in the construction field where so many construction workers are laid off.
M.
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G.P.
answers from
Chicago
on
My husband leaves the house by 4:30 am every morning and does not get home until 4:30-6:00pm every night. I am a SAHM and realize what I have to do. I totally rotate my schedule around him. He takes our oldest to hockey practices on Wednesdays (he coaches) and I usually go, taking my four year old and our 16 month old. I have to have dinner ready, homework done, house cleaned, school clothes laid out, before we leave the house, because we don't get home until 8:30-9:00pm. I am not looking forward to all my boys being in activities every night, but realize it is going to happen, but right now I am enjoying my "freedom" if you want to call it that!
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B..
answers from
Dallas
on
My husband gets off at 5:30 every day, and works about 5 minutes from the house. He does a standard of 40 hours a week, with infrequent overtime.
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D.P.
answers from
Seattle
on
He's gone at 6:10 every morning and when I'm lucky, home by 5:30. Otherwise 6 pm. That includes an hour commute each way. It's a job that he should be doing in 40 hours, but he's slow and methodical... sigh... but willing to do the bath/bed routine every night, so I should consider my glass half full.
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R.J.
answers from
Seattle
on
80-120 on average
Used to always be 120, he's been trying to scale back to 80.
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T.C.
answers from
Dallas
on
He's often gone from 6am to 4:30-5pm. That includes travel time. He used to work 60 hours and week and often wasn't home until 8pm or so, so this is nice!
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B.R.
answers from
Naples
on
Not enough! My husband is self employed and has no self discipline. He will find virtually ANY excuse to not be at his shop. I work for someone else, but on the same property as his shop. When I leave the house everyday at 7:45 to drop of our child at school he is still asleep. I usually go straight to work and I'm early because we don't open until 9. Since I am on the same property, I see when he rolls in and doesn't. He is in school right now 2 mornings a week until 10:30, and one night from 6-9. I get calls about this that and the other errand that he has to run, then he needs to go get lunch, and then because it's getting so late, he might as well go to the school and pick up the kiddo, then he needs to stop at McDonalds for an ice cream treat and on and on and on. When he finally gets here, I notice that the shop door rarely goes up, because he is catching up on calls etc..but I see the facebook posts etc. I try to point out to him that he could run those errands and pick up parts etc on his way home and be ready for the next day.....nope, then I am just being a control freak, and he doesn't need another mother. On the day when he has school in the morning and again in the evening he can't work in the shop because it's not worth it, he "doesn't have enough time to do anything, stop to eat, get cleaned up and get to school in time"......Really? Between 10:45 and say 4:30.......one couldn't get ANYTHING done in a shop of work..some of which has been waiting for over a year? makes for an interesting time when bills are due. Our a/c broke over the weekend, he chose to sleep in his office with a/c while we roughed it out at home and pecked away at chores ...laundry, cleaning etc. On Monday, he called a repair place, went to the house to meet them, helped take the a/c apart and diagnose the problem. Came to work to tell ME where to start calling around to find the new motor, then said he had to go get something to eat, drive home (13 miles each way) to pick up the tools he left outside because "it might rain, and he didn't want to leave expensive tools lying about in the yard next to the a/c, then of course back here to drop off kiddo because he decided to do the pick up, then off to buy the part, and back home to install it, then called to ask what the plan for dinner was as he was hungry and it was too late to go to work! Every time we cut something else to try and save $, he pulls back on his work efforts. We have already cut out cable and Internet at home, he schmoozed the owner's of the property to fire the lazy maintenance man they had that they were paying, and hire him for rent/trade..currently he is supposed to be giving them 10 hours a week and he maybe has done 15 hours in 3 months. He goes to lunch everyday instead of using the fridge or microwave in either of our offices, and of course swipes the debit card regularly. I use it mainly to pay bills and buy groceries, and give myself (sometimes if I can afford it) a $20 cash allowance every week. He declared that we were going to have separate accounts because he got tired of the overdraft fees, and blamed it entirely on me. We /HE decided that we would split the bills 50/50 and he would pay 2/3 of the grocery bill, and the cel phone bill (since I have a basic plan and he has an iPhone with extra charges for data etc). The first thing that happened is the next day after he repossessed the checkbook and my debit card, was that he received 3 overdraft charges on his business account...for which I have never been a signer or a card holder! :-) Should be interesting when we get these bills caught up and everything is current, and the power bill starts to dip when the heat let's up. His shop neighbor greeted him one day "hey there part timer".......it made him furious, but I think mainly because he didn't have anything to say, realizing that I am not the only one who notices and doesn't buy into his "I'm so busy" BS. His mother tried to warn me, I should have listened.
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L.M.
answers from
Seattle
on
90 hours a week.. Or more.. He is a mortgage broker and times have changed. Lots of paperwork for each loan and very stringent requirements. It is a stressful job.. But I am so thankful he has a job..
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D.P.
answers from
Pittsburgh
on
45-55 plus some side jobs.
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V.C.
answers from
Dallas
on
My husband's an engineer and for the last year he has had to work about 60 hours a week. That's one reason I left the profession b/c we would have had to let someone else raise the kids.
But his company is great and gives him comp time and sometimes overtime pay. We are very thankful he has a great job and doesn't have to worry about losing it.
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J.K.
answers from
Chicago
on
Depends on the week. Mine starts at 8:30, and we are lucky if he is home by 6:30. In the fall, he does a lot of overtime (luckily paid hourly with time and a half). Several times over the past couple weeks, he's been later than 8; sometimes not home until 10.
Wow, just looked at some of the other responses before starting this sentence, and guess I'm not the only one.
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K.W.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
When he's "slow", which is infrequent, 40 hours/week. But usually he works from 8am until 10pm, 5-6 days/week. It's pretty horrible.
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S.!.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Works 60 plus hours a week and travels Monday through Friday. Occasionaly does 10 days stretches.
We are lucky if Hubby is home 104 days a year? If we are lucky.......
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A.G.
answers from
Houston
on
12 hours a day 7 days a week so...84 hours?, in a remote location at least 6 hours from me, he sleeps in a little hole with a cot and a mini fridge. He does this 24 or so days out of the month. Sometimes he will camp or get a hotel, like 4 days a month. hes a wellsite geologist and he prefers to work long hard hours so that he can have a whole week a month of nothing but down time.
i just try to stay sane basically raising the kids alone most of the month.
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K.F.
answers from
Cleveland
on
Leaves the house at 7:30, home by 4:30-5:00.
Doesn't work weekends.
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T.L.
answers from
Detroit
on
Yes, you are very lucky. My kids and I wish daddy was home more, but that's not the case:( My hubby works anywhere between 50-60 hours per week. The sad thing is that he works out of state and isn't home during the week and sometimes weekends too:( It sucks, but we have to survive.
Appreciate that you are blessed with a husband who helps out. Some of us aren't so lucky.
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K.S.
answers from
Dallas
on
hubby works an average of 48 hours a week, but sometimes its up to 64 hours a week..i hate it, but he feels like he needs to so we can get ahead...we never see him except weekends anyway cause he works 2nd shift...
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N.J.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
One of my biggest complaints 50-60hrs a week usually. He's usually not home until 6:45--7:00pm on normal days. Nights where things aren't going "right" its closer to 7:30pm. Makes for a very long day with the kiddos at home. I'd give anything to have him home by 6 every night :)
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J.A.
answers from
San Francisco
on
40 hrs at his regular job, then maintenance and painting on the side... he hasn't been home for more than a few hours this week... gone by 7 and home at 12 or 1am...
added. He helps me a lot though with our daughter... ( i work from home and am in school) and some days he is home for the entire morning. Those days are nice...
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A.C.
answers from
Washington DC
on
my hubby is military so techincally he's on duty 24/7.
The time he's out of the house all depends, usually he goes to work @ 6:30am and gets home anywhere from 5pm to 7pm, when he has watch he leaves at 4am and doesn't get home till about 7pm.
But that doesn't include the calls and e-mails and texts that come in at all hours of the day and night.
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S.G.
answers from
Rapid City
on
My husband works 40 to 45 hours a week and is home every evening except the bowling night now but when the kids were growing up he worked out of town and would leave Sunday afternoon and come home late Thursday nights. I am pretty flexible and juggled everything without complaints. My kids were involved in scouts, wrestling and other activities which I also volunteered my time for. I remember having those "moments" but I don't think I was stressed until they became teenagers.
Updated
My husband works 40 to 45 hours a week and is home every evening except the bowling night now but when the kids were growing up he worked out of town and would leave Sunday afternoon and come home late Thursday nights. I am pretty flexible and juggled everything without complaints. My kids were involved in scouts, wrestling and other activities which I also volunteered my time for. I remember having those "moments" but I don't think I was stressed until they became teenagers.
Updated
My husband works 40 to 45 hours a week and is home every evening except the bowling night now but when the kids were growing up he worked out of town and would leave Sunday afternoon and come home late Thursday nights. I am pretty flexible and juggled everything without complaints. My kids were involved in scouts, wrestling and other activities which I also volunteered my time for. I remember having those "moments" but I don't think I was stressed until they became teenagers.
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A.H.
answers from
Omaha
on
My husband works 55-60 hours per week. Leaves by 7am and is home by 6-6:30pm. Home on the weekends. Travels occasionally.
A.
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M.W.
answers from
San Francisco
on
He is out the door by about 7:15 and home by 6 for dinner..Monday-Friday. He does not work weekends...unless it is a business trip. Even at that his work takes him to Hawaii and I get to go once...sometimes twice a year. I know..I know...rough.
He is very available to help shuttle kids to and fro. We attend all parent/teacher meetings together. I usually can even get help with events during the week if I let him know far enough in advance.
I know what you mean when you talk of women mentioning their husbands don't help out much or work alot. I hear it too. It makes me sad for them...and the kids.
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M.L.
answers from
Houston
on
40-60 or so, plus he travels for a week at a time. And he doesn't get paid overtime b/c it's a (low) salary job. He is also a big help around the house and volunteers one night a week as a church youth leader.
I don't see how you moms survive with a hubby gone literally all day, all the time. I applaud you all and your very hardworking husbands.
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H.S.
answers from
Cincinnati
on
I feel very lucky. He works 40 hours, and is usually home at 4:30 to spend then entire evening with us. There are a number of times a year he has to leave town, or work overnight to meet a deadline.
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M.C.
answers from
Pocatello
on
40 hours a week... plus he has 3 hours commute time and a half hour lunch... so he is gone 11.5 hours on the days he is at work (57.5 per week).
of course I wish he was home more... just so we could spend more time together. But, i am grateful for what we DO have, and he is SO helpful when he is home!
Someday, I hope to move closer to town so that his commute is only a few minutes, not hours. But until then I just try to show him that I appreciate him!
-M.
PS, sometimes I do feel really bad for my husband. His work friends have invited him out for after work dinners, or a movie night and he always says no because he knows I am at home caring for the kids, alone... waiting for him. And it is true that I would be sad if he decided to stay out... That is one thing I hope i can be able to do someday... go out WITH my husband after work, instead of having to have him choose EVERY time between making it home on time to hang out with me and having some fun with his friends.
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K.B.
answers from
Cincinnati
on
My husband's work is seasonal and he is a business owner, so it varies. During the months of April-June, he works 7 days a week, usually well over 80 hours. July-October he usually works 6 days a week and over 70 hours. The rest of the time is really dependent on the weather, but even if the conditions aren't right for working outside, he finds other things that need to be done, i.e.: preparing supplies, making repairs, etc. So those months are always around 50+ hours a week. He has maybe 2-3 weeks around Christmas where he will take a little extra time off, but thats it. So, you should feel very lucky that you have your husband around that much. If our kids are in extracurriculars or sports, its all on me. There are some nights during his busy season that he doesn't make it home until after midnight.
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C.J.
answers from
Milwaukee
on
On a regular week 40 hours but he takes classes at school twice a week and gets PAID for them! :)
During the summer he may work everyday because he works at Johnson Wax and his line makes most of the bug spray stuff so they are BUUUUSY!
The nice thing is he works second shift and my son has afternoon 4-K so we have lots of morning time together. Pretty much the opposite of the rest of the world.
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S.S.
answers from
Green Bay
on
My husband works 2nd shift so I never see him at night. The only days I see him are Saturdays and Sundays! :-(
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L.S.
answers from
Lincoln
on
My husband works at least 70-80 hours a week. He works in management for the railroad and they are expected to (and compensated) work a lot! He just got promoted and will be gone about 3 nights a week traveling around his territory. I miss him so much but I knew it was part of the deal before we started dating.
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C.T.
answers from
Santa Fe
on
My hubby is home by 5 or 5:30 each day. He goes in to work early so he can get home by that time. He really relishes being home w me and the kids!!! He works a 40 hour week. He does travel often for work though. Maybe 3-5 days per month. I definitely am lucky...we all are so happy when he gets home!!! :) :) :)
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A.C.
answers from
Madison
on
My husband leaves the house at 6:30 am, has a 45 min-1 hour commute to work, and gets home about 5:30-6:00 pm. We eat later than we're used to, about 7/7:30 pm, which I don't like. And I have to get used to the fact that he probably won't make many of our daughter's afterschool activites. But in this economy, I'm so glad he has a good job and gets paid well. Since I am a SAHM and own my own business (which brings in some money, but not a lot), I've learned to work with and around his hours.
Right now, he's housebound for another 7 weeks. He broke his tibia and had a tibia-plateau abduction surgery done; he won't be "back to totally normal" until Feb next year. But it's hopeful after 10 weeks of nonwork and being off his feet, after he starts rehab to learn to walk on his leg again, he'll be able to go back to work. As much as I love my husband, I'm waiting to get the house back to myself. ;)
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G.H.
answers from
Chicago
on
average is 60-80 week (includes 2 hour commute)
twice a year he has to work 16-18 hours a day (included 2 hour commute), 7 days a week for about 4 to 6 weeks straight
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A.I.
answers from
New York
on
My Husband is an IT systems engineer and his work hours are 9:30 to 5:30 with an hour and 15 min commute each way so 8:15 to 6:45. If there are problems at work it could be up to 24 hrs straight! He also goes away at least once every two months for a week at a time. It's rough as I work too and it's hard to get everything done and get going in the mornings but it is what it is.
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S.L.
answers from
Savannah
on
40 atleast plus more if it is crunch time on a project. he leaves by 8 am at the latest but i might not see him again till 9 pm, especially if it's a gym day. he's a great engineer and loves his job so i'm happy for that. i'd love to have him home in the evenings more, but he needs his time at the gym to unwind. he helps out alot when he's home so it balances out.
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E.B.
answers from
Seattle
on
sixty plus.
I hate it...because he buses into work...so that adds two hours to his round trip time.
I cant wait until I am done with my school and can work and he can switch roles with me...which is our plan at this point...so he can go back to school and I will work:)
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K.B.
answers from
Chicago
on
80+ hours a week. physician.
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M.R.
answers from
Rochester
on
Mine works 40 hours a week for his job, but he's a full-time day daddy while I'm at work. I leave the house by 8 or 8:15 in the morning, before anybody's up. The boys (my husband and our three sons) wake up later and he leaves for work by 2:30 or 2:45 (we have some friends who come over different days). I'm home by 5:45/6 pm, and then he gets off work at 11 and is home by 11:15. So I work 35 hours technically, but am gone closer to 50 hours. He works closer to home and is gone about 46 1/2 hours a week. He also works Sunday through Thursday, so he's home all day Friday and Saturday.
I really do wish he were home more, but this saves us a ton on child care and lets our kids be home with us, even if it is not at the same time. It is exhausting and really hard to get regular chores done, but we appreciate our family day that much more. Someday we can both work days, we hope. :) (There's got to be a payoff, right?)
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C.R.
answers from
Boston
on
My hubby works about 60 hours a week or so. He is usually home fairly early though. He's in construction so he goes in pretty early. He is switching to nights next week which I hate. Only for a short period of time though. This time next year he should be able to retire which will be nice. Although he will need a hobby. I don't know that I could have him home all day. :)
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S.S.
answers from
Cincinnati
on
46-50 a week and thats betwee two jobs. I really wish he could get more hours, but he only gets about 9.5 hrs a week at his part time job. He was getting 20-30 but his manager hired three new people and gave every only 10 hrs a week instead of having one person have 30.
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H.G.
answers from
Dallas
on
For the past few years he's been working 10-14 hour days so I don't get much help. I have been a sahm for 4 years and we need the money! Before that he drove over the road and we saw him like 2 times is 2 weeks so I don't mind him being gone all day! At least we are in the same state now :)
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V.N.
answers from
Chicago
on
40 hours. But that includes weekends and evenings.
His schedule actually works out pretty well as I to work evenings and weekends so it minimizes day care.
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J.L.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
I have to break it down by month because his days off are strange.
There are roughly 720 hrs this month....
Works 252 hrs of that
Drives 63 hrs each month to and from work
Works 10 hrs each month for side jobs (he's at home, but not inside the house or spending "family" time).
So he's working 395 Hrs / 720 this month.
Thats not including if he pulls longer days which is frequent, if he gets more side jobs in one month (like this month).
Each Month is different. Some months he works a little less because of his days off, and others he works a little more.
Everything revolves around him and his schedule. We appreciate everything he does for us. =)
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B.B.
answers from
Portland
on
Mine works between 32-47 hrs/wk depending on the time of year (Jan-March is slower than the rest of the year). He works swing shift so we get to spend the day together or he stays with the kids while I go to classes or take foster kids to appointments or visits. This works great for us and saves us a bundle on daycare!
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A.M.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Mine works from home which makes it worse...60-80. I know, I know at least he's home. He's always in the office or on the phone. Not a lot of "us/family" time! Sometimes I have to get crazy grumpy to have him eat dinner with us.
ETA: I do work outside the home. We often have to tag team activities...he will take our daughter to soccer practice and stay until I arrive and then off to the house he goes to work some more. He is very helpful and does what he can with the dishes and he is the caregiver for our three year old. He's awesome and I am not complaining one bit about him working I just wish some nights we saw him before it was bedtime for the kids...with NO WORK added to the mix. It's like the laptop is an extension to his body! And if he doesn't have that it's the work cell phone.
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K.B.
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55 hours a week; this includes travel time (30min round trip) and lunch (between 45-60 mins)... so on average about 11 hours a day, 5 days a week, he is away from home, about twice a year he is away for a week. Sometimes he will work a rare Sat or work later if a project needs to be done so the hours can easily get up to 60 a week. Use to only be 40 hours a week but downsizing happened 3-4 years ago, so company then asked workers to put in more time... still working the long hours after they rehired some people.
I do a lot of the chores, but hubby will pitch in if I ask as long as I do not ask too much and too often otherwise he gets a bit grumpy. So far school stuff he can make if it takes place after 6pm.