Background. I'm still getting used to having three kids out of the house for school for the first time in 8 years (I used to homeschool), and getting out on my own a bit, so maybe this experience was amplified :).
Yesterday I was doing errands and treated myself to a Starbucks coffee from Target BY MYSELF-woo hoo!! While I was waiting for mine, a lady with a SUPER GOOD messy up-do hairstyle came and ordered a drink. I can never figure out how to do that hairstyle and she had hair like mine so I said, 'How do you do that super cute messy up do?" And she said, "It's really easy, you just _______" and then we fell into easy chatting and mutual clothing compliments and stuff and the barista was laughing with us, and when my coffee was done, I said bye and went off to by some hair clips :). So that was the end of that pleasant little exchange.
Then I had a little pang of, "Wow, she was so nice! She may have been a nice new friend in the area, maybe she's out without her kids too, treating herself to a rare solo coffee, maybe I should have introduced myself and whatnot...but nah, that would be way too weird..."
And I don't even have time for the friends I do have!! But you know how it is.
JFF, have you ever regretted not connecting with someone? Any good stories?
Personally, I sort of enjoy those friendly moments of camaraderie-- and then leaving them there to be just what they are, moments. Those minutes make the world a brighter place for all involved without taking anything from anyone.
I have encounters like that all the time! But I never regret not following up with them or becoming friends. Meeting people, striking up a conversation, then moving on is one of life's little pleasures. Those encounters make me so happy and are little treats in and of themselves. It reinforces the idea that most people are just really nice and friendly. Weren't you in a super good mood after learning how to do your messy up-do? Right? I would have been, too!
On a few occasions, I've run into the same people AGAIN. Now THAT is the Universe trying to tell me something and I've become friends with a couple of those women.
It sounds like you and she might be regulars at this Starbucks so it's possible you will run into her again.
It'll be easy to introduce yourself next time you see her.
I have no regrets regarding social contacts.
I find myself VERY open to making new friends from chance meetings. Just this past week I was at Ikea and saw another woman my age.
We struck up a conversation, walked around Ikea for an hour and exchanged email.
We discovered that we are both empty-nesters and single. We are meeting back at Ikea to window shop this Saturday!
This is one way to remain fresh. Old friends are great, but there can be so much water under those bridges that it is refreshing to make a new friend.
Go back to that Starbucks regularly and maybe you will run into her again.If you do, offer your email address or see if the two of you can schedule to meet there occasionally to chat!
Yes and No to answer your question. I have regrets for having stayed in bad friendships for years and it's only been until recently that I have finally severed those ties.. Years ago, I was more trusting and made friends wherever I went from the Grand Canyon rafting trips to chance meetings .... I'd like to get up that courage again to take a chance on NEW friendships ... so in part, yes I have regrets for not getting someone's "info" and following up.... it's happened quite a bit in the last couple of years... but something always holds me back.... I hope to read some posts below that give examples of how people met randomly and became good friends.. as for you, maybe you can go back to that starbucks and IF the timing is right, perhaps she will show up.. who knows, she may have felt the same about you and wished that she too got your number..
whatever you do.. I wish you all the best..
Yeeeees! So many times. It's like dating for mommies.... You really want to get her number, but feel like you will look like a creeper asking for it. Lol.
My husband makes fun of me because every time I meet a mommy I connect with, I will lament that I didn't get her info. Lol.
Yes, I have often met and chatted briefly with someone and afterwards wished I got her number.
I am getting into the habit now of giving someone my business card which has my contact info on it. That has helped me and it is not easier than asking for a number.
Growing up I was as shy as they came. Now, I can strike a conversation with just about any stranger. I know I'm turning into my mother because I feel myself at check outs and other places telling my life story to them. My mother always did that growing up and my sisters and me hated it. We would tell her when we got in the car; Mom they don't care about your life. I see how wrong that was, I also see how all my sisters do that, well at least 3 out of 4 of us do.
I don't really see it making friends, I'm not really looking for any, not that I have a ton, I'm just nice to everyone I meet. I like talking to strangers who want to talk to me, especially when my kid is playing. My life doesn't really allow me to have friend time. Don't think of this as a bad thing either, I have a family and I work. On my downtime, I just want to be with my family, and that includes my mom who lives a mile away. I'm at her house or at home if I'm not at work. The kids have things going on, so I'm at their functions too. I can't really see having any other time to have one on one with someone, not on a regular basis. I talk to coworkers when I'm there, not too much outside the work place, and I high school friends every blue moon, but my life is really my family.
So to answer your question, no, I don't regret not making friends.
If I befriended half the people I chat with like this I would have a million friends. I always strike up conversations with people around me. I don't generally ever think to pursue it further. My life is full as it is. lol
Some of those "small" interactions with people outside of your circle are all you need.
Making it to Starbucks on your own is worth that.
I ended up having drinks at an airport bar with a random couple of strangers (one woman and one man). We were all strangers, but had a wonderful conversation for hours while waiting for our planes. It's one of my favorite memories. We didn't exchange info, just went our separate ways, but it sure made a lasting impression on me.
I also just met a woman at one of my kids' activities who is super fun to talk to and I feel completely at ease. You don't meet many people like that in life. I have lots of friends, but only a handful who are a perfect match with me. Hopefully you will run into that gal again, but if not you have a great memory.
