Jealous Big Brother

I don't think this is totally surprising. He's at the age where he's trying to figure out a lot of stuff and there's this cute baby in the middle of his world. I'd put firm boundaries where you need to but always show a lot of empathy & understanding for him in this. Get him to talk when you can. Maybe you can even get him to play-act his feelings with stuffed animals or action figures. He has some fears about her because he doesn't realize you can love both of them enough and that he won't be losing anything but actually gaining from her being there. It's very hard for kids this age to understand sharing. Let him have some special things he doesn't have to share and put them where the baby and other children can't get to them so he knows he can control that little area. Emphasize both the big boy aspect of his age as well as the still being a baby in some ways aspect. Cuddle him and rock him and whatever to fill his needs. I have a 3 yr old granddaugther and I swear - sometimes she's so grown up and sometimes she's still a baby! This is how it is at this age. The best thing in the world for him is that he has to accommodate his sister and learn to protect and assist her. Tell him how much she'll look up to him if he's kind to her. He'll be her super-hero!

This will pass, A., if you handle it with gentle, loving guidance. Hang in there!

He needs alone time with you and w/o little sis. He should get to keep certain toys from.

Try taking him for ice-cream w/o baby. Or outside playtime w/o baby. Comment to him that we love our baby...but sometimes it is fun to do big boy things.

I have four and I wish I could tell you it is a faze but its not. My first did it alittle with her brother. Now her brother is such a freak and flips like that that he has taught his other baby sister to be the same. So I think it is thing with kids. I just basically comfort him unless he gets mouthy about it than I make him sit for 5 mins out time and than tell him what the nice sinerio would have been. I don't know if it works or not he doesn't do it as often but he still does. Good luck.

Hello A., Your son needs one on one attention from you. You could stagger nap times, so that when the baby is napping, you and your son can dance together, sing, bake, or what ever seems fun to you. Use this time as a privelige he has to earn by being nice to his sister. If he does or says something not nice to her, simply ask him if he wants to take his nap at the same time as the baby today as a warning. You must follow through by saying what you mean, and meaning what you say or it won't work. This should turn every day life around fairly soon, and might even help with his competitive side with other kids. A tradition I started with my kids when my oldest was 3, Friday night "pajama parties". We got into our PJ's, layed out sleeping bags on the floor, and watched movies until we fell asleep. Some times we ordered pizza out, sometimes we cooked together before watching movies. This lasted utill Jr High when it didn't seem so cool anymore. A friend of mine helped me understand sibling rivaly better by asking me how I would feel if my husband brought home a new bride, who was better looking than me, and started paying more attention to her than to me. I got it after that!! LOL Good luck.

My first question would be why would a 7 month old want to share big brother's toys anyway? This is two different age levels. Same with the tv issue.

But he does need some possessiveness adjusting. I would find a way to teach him about sharing. You share affection and love, you share food.

But realize he's only 3 and doesn't know any better. He can't be expected to have it all proper at this age.

have you tried asking for his help in taking care of her? it helped with my daughter and son. also if someone else is there to take care of the baby, once in awhile when she cries say to her 'daddy is going to take care of you, i am playing with (sons name) now' so he feels special.
good luck!

Hi A. - my sister had a very similar situation with her two older kids - a boy followed two years later by a girl. She saw a therapist who said that a two year gap with a boy followed by a girl was the very worst for sibling rivalry. Now my nephew is 16 - the situation is way better but it will take a LONG time. I would give your three-year-old PLENTY of love and attention and actually minimize the love and smooching with the baby when he's around - of course he's put out by the new baby, he was the center of your world and now he's not. Give him a lot of time and patience - two children is definitely very different to having one. Don't get angry with him, it's not his fault. And as for other emotional issues with sharing toys etc.....normal. Good luck - Alison