I've Become a Nite-nite Failure.............

Hang in there C.... your not alone! This maybe a phase and could change as quickly as it started. My youngest son occasionally will do this too. My husband tucks him and and when he fights, he will shift the routine a little. Reading is very soothing for him, so before changing, brushing teeth etc, he will read one book first, then do the other stuff and then read one more book. The book seems to calm him down first and almost forget the drama.

Also, there are many great storybooks out there for every topic. Maybe you can find one for going to bed to read to her (not at bedtime) to help talk about some of this.

Good luck!

Hi C.,
You are not alone!! When my daughter was little she went through this phase also. It was horrible and I couldn't wait for it to be over!! I have some questions for you:

Does your daughter nap during the day? If yes, try scaling back on the nap or eliminating it all together.

What time does your daughter get up in the morning? If she sleeps in, try getting her up everyday at the same time. If you have to get up early, like for work- then try adjusting her wake up time. Either let her sleep longer or get her up slightly earlier.

What time are you putting her to bed at night? Most children her age are not ready for sleep before 8:30pm. Try adjusting her bedtime by putting her to bed later if needed.

How does she sleep during the night? If she gets up often or has dreams, this may be scaring her and she is fighting going to bed. There are books at the library you can borrow, for little kids that talk about going to bed. Ask the librarian- explain to her what's going on and ask if she can reccommend a book for you to read to her.

Hope this helps!!

Is she recently 3? I think I remember my son going through similiar struggles not long after he turned 3. Bedtime just wasn't fun anymore, and he argued and fought the whole entire routine. He wouldn't go to sleep either, he'd sit in his bed an play with his books or whatever action hero he happened to have snuck into his room. I don't think I really tried anything different, I just stuck with the routine. I may have varied the time (trying earlier or later to see if it helped) but that may have been it. Is she still really awake at bedtime, or is it just the whole idea of going to bed that's making her act up? Maybe she could get ready, then relax with a Dora episode, or something like that.

You are lucky that your DH helps with bedtime, that makes it easier. My son won't let my hubby put him to bed unless I'm not home. What a stinker!

I would keep plugging away at it, it could just be a phase she is going through, and sees rebelling against bedtime as a sign of independce.
Good luck!

I am totally in the same boat, I've followed all the advice from friends and books, established a routine, lovey, the whole nine yards still he just started needing me in his room to fall asleep and god forbid he's not fully asleep when I go to leave all heck breaks loose. He used to sleep so well lay him down and off he went. I can't figure it out, I've come to the conclusion it's just a phase. He used to nap easily too, now he'll only fall asleep in the car and I have to transfer him to his bed. I also am losing my cool, trying so hard to be calm, but there are many nights I do the same as you go downstairs and ball my eyes out. You think it's something you're doing wrong. Be thankful your hubby can help. Being a SAHM my son is very attached to me and wants nothing to do with daddy as long as he knows I'm home. Hang in there and please let me know if you have a revelation, or if you just need to vent, I'll be here!!

sounds to me like she is on to what you do and she just wants to stress you out and not go to bed and she is winning!!! Been there twice already and when my third is old enough i will be there again....Just stay firm don't give in...when you start your routine and she give resitance just keep going with out getting bothered by it and don't show any emotions when your reading her story if she starts jumping on the bed don't pay no mind just continue like she is listening and tuck her in and leave....after a couple of days everything should go smoothly again....

My have is 19 months and is having a very similar behavior. Once she is in her toddler bed, she stands up and cries behind her door until she falls sleeep in THE FLOOR. In the middle of the night, we try to move her to her bed but because she is lying down right behid the door, she feels us, and she wakes up once again, then and she start to cry desperetly until she fall asleep IN THE FLOOR is the same over and over and over. It is a circle. It's been a month. We don't know what to do. We have sleep depravation.

Thans for your help/

Hi C.!

I totally agreed with Stephanie L and Christiana C! I personally start taking things away instead of giving more for good behavior. If my girls (ages 2 & 4) start acting up or stalling with their bed time routine I warn them that we will not be reading a book or having a talk (which my older daughter likes) Most things like brushing teeth, going potty, and for us, saying prayers are mandatory so those obviously don't get taken away but I certainly don't have a problem with taking away TV time the next day. I do give plenty of praise when they do what they are asked. I just feel like they will always expect something if you always reward them for things they are expected to do. Under NO circumstances should you give in and let her win. She will learn what buttons to push to get what she wants in EVERY situation throughout the day. Be very consistent- that is the key to all parenting (IMO)! I couldn't disagree more with the chick who said kids need a later bed time!! They usually need an earlier bedtime if anything. I have friends who put their kids to bed 9:00, 10:00 and sometimes even later. I think it is occasionally OK to let them have a treat by staying up a little later for good behavior. 8:00 is the latest I let my kids stay up. It works out great for me because I get much needed "me" time or "us" time if my husband is not working. Besides - kids NEED sleep! They behave better when they are fully rested which makes everyone happier!

she is winning she sees you losing your cool and at that age they are trying to see how far they can go. they are pushing limits be consistent do what you are doing with your routine. make a reward system for good bedtime behavior. praise her. if she gets out of bed put her back and dont say a word to her and remain calm. i know it is stressful and time consuming so i feel your pain but it will get better again. good luck steph

First let me say that I haven't had to deal with this yet at this level of intensity(knock wood), so anything I say is just theoretical. I was just reading to see what's in store for me in a few months. :)

It sounds like maybe it's time for a "Bedtime Challenge" or something. Try setting a timer and challenge her to get everything done before it goes off--keeping it fun and upbeat. If she does, she gets an extra book read or something. Also, I just saw a great idea in a magazine where the mom and child created pictures of each thing that has to be done before bed (clean up, bath, brush teeth, jammies, etc) and the chart hangs somewhere visible. The child gets to run over and flip over each picture after she does it.

Hope this phase passes quickly!
K.

I am right there with you C.! Until about two months ago, I was having my girls fall asleep in our bed with me and then move them to their own beds (my girls are 2 and 3) After watching Super Nanny, I decided to give a strict bedtime a try. Now, we have a routine and they each get into bed. If they fight me, I tell them I am not fighting and will leave. Usually, they are good, but will get out of bed and find me many many many times. I took SuperNanny's advice and, without saying anything, will just put them back in their beds and leave the room. It took about a week of consistency, but now they are pretty good at going in on their own. Consistency is the key..dont let the three year old see you cave, or else she'll learn that if she just keeps doing it, you'll cave. I know how heart-wrenching bedtime is!!!Hang in there!!!!!!

This advice may come as a shock to some people but I have figured it out. Sometimes it is easier, and in the long run more effective, to give up. I mean let her decide when to go to bed to give her a little sense of control over her life and when she is sleepy. Maybe trying making a deal, again an unpopular theory that totally works for us. Try "if you go to bed tonight on time I will let you stay up later tomorrow" If she complies follow through with letting her stay up until she wants to go to bed or simply falls asleep on her own on the couch. I think at this age she is probably trying to test her limits and maybe you can give her limit a little nudge in the bigger kid direction.

good luck