A.G.
I was very dedicated to making my relationship work with my ex and when it did not it weighed on me heavily. As a child of divorced parents it was very important to me to have "Mom and Dad" together. Sometimes we focus on the wrong thing. Were you happy in the relationship? Do you think you two were compatible? Sometimes people just want different things in life and it takes a while to realize it.
You sound like lots of fun (save the tatas too funny!) and have plenty to offer to someone who is right for you and deserves you! Take this time to realize your worth and what you want in life, develop your talents and explore your interests. Take the focus off of him and what could have been (as hard as that can be at times). Sometimes people come in to your life to teach you things and they are not necessarilly meant to be by your side for life.
This is a new chapter in your life and it can be fun...no checking in, no compromising what you want to do, you can explore and grow as a person...alot of this gets lost in our efforts to keep the relationship working. As we focus on our spouse we loose focus on ourself. It sounds like you are doing that with all your activities.
So if you feel your thoughts winding up..just say no! then go! get out of the house, go for a walk or a jog, keep your body and mind moving and stay in control of your thoughts! With that said, sometimes you have to face and deal with your emotions and it is ok to feel sad at times, you gave alot to your relationship. Just keep it in perspective and keep the focus on your life, your journey which started before you met him and continues on with or without anyone you meet in life.
Our kids seem to be similar ages, if you ever want to get together on the weekend. I am not too far in the Winter Park/Orlando area. I sure could use someone to work out with and loose some of my baby fat (I think 3 years is too long to claim baby fat :>)
In love and blessings,
A.
Mom to 4 (9b, 5twin b, 3g)