Issues with My 4-Year Old Son

This is just an observation of what worked for my family! It is just that... But my daughter pushes the limits further and further the more I give. When I noticed myself going from reading a book to staying in her room for the extra five minutes to her asking for me to stay until she falls asleep, to me laying down and actually falling asleep in her bed sometimes; At tthe same time I noticed a pattern with my daughter's requests going from asking for one extra book, to just stay one minute, to please mom don't leave me alone. It seems the more I did or the more I helped the less independant she became and the more clingy and more likely to whine and cry over smaller and smaller things. If I give her responsiblities she handles them well and cries much less. For example, she puts on her own shoes so she can't ever cry that I am doing it wrong and I just help tie them (she starts to pick the velcro more and more cause she doesn't want my help). And she has to clean her own room so she has things where she wants them and I prompt her for what will make her feel safest and cozy when she is in bed (within reason-- I have to be able to vaccuum so everything is off the floors). I think it really is part of being that age.

At 4, my son was a little sweetie 99.9% of the time--EXCEPT when he had something going on with his ears! Definitely get them checked. You know him best.

Sounds like he might not be feeling well. Has any of his routine changed? Did he watch something on TV that scared him?

Poor guy! Our daughter is almost four and she has a terrible time falling asleep. I started giving her melatonin on the advice of the ped and it definitely helps. She just has a really hard time letting her mind unwind before bed. We have a long bedtime routine for that exact reason, but sometimes it's not enough. She's a worrier. I think it depends on the kid, but if you've been to the doc and he checks out ok, he may just need some reassuring. Hang in there!

i always said 4 was the whiney phase... but definitely make sure nothing else is going on ears, cold, maybe growing discomforts??

I would ask him if anything hurts...and then go through all his body parts one by one - hold his foot and say 'how about your foot? does your foot hurt?'...then 'how about your ankle? does your ankle hurt?' and so on. This will make him feel very much like you are paying attention to him.

Also, with his fear of falling asleep, next time you're there with him at bedtime, ask him what he is seeing in his head. In a gentle, patient way, try to find out what he is thinking of or feeling that bothers him. Don't ask leading questions, or convey any displeasure or judgement at whether his fears are valid. Maybe something has happened to him that you don't know about. Best thing to do is tune into him as best you can.

A doctor is probably a good idea too, if you don't find out anything by these methods.