Issue with Body After Giving Birth

Keep up the kegels! If you'd had a c-section you'd likely still be in pain from that so don't think it's a better way! I had my daughter 10 months ago and felt just the same as you! It is much better now. My husband and I talked about it a lot and that helped. It took quite some time for everything to get back to normal but now I feel like I did before. Hang in there!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but passing a human head through your body does stretch things out a bit "down there". I can't speak for all moms, but the ones that I'm friends with all say it doesn't ever go back exactly like it was. In fact, even when we got back to our pre-preggo weight, our hips were a little wider and our clothes didn't fit the way they used to. And it doesn't seem to matter which method of birth was used, things just change.
Now for the good news, my friends and I all feel pretty proud of our bodies for making our beautiful children and our husbands still seem pretty smitten with us (even with our wider hips!). But I know that's small consolation when you've discovered that your body has changed in ways that don't please you.
I do have to add, one of my friends had a very bad episiotomy and the doctor did a bad job of stitching her back up, so she had pain during sex and when she looked down there, she was pretty horrified by the scarring. When she had her 2nd baby, the new doctor fixed the old botched job by stitching her correctly (and evenly) and also made a few extra stitches so she would feel "tighter" during sex. Maybe that's something for you to consider if you're going to have another baby?
Oh, and one more thing, you did what was best for you and your baby by having a vaginal birth!! C-sections ARE major surgery and, (in MY OWN opinion), should only be performed when medically necessary!

Trust me, a C-section is not the answer. Give yourself another 5 months to recover. It takes a while to get back into the swing of things, but you may have to work to get yourself there emotionally and lots more foreplay. And I would try not to focus on your new size.

Hey there,

Your baby is only 5 months, you have plenty of time to get back to where you were in that area. I would give it a few months longer and not worry at this point.
I think that it's a normal thing.
As a woman that has had a c-section and vag birth after c-section, I would say that the vag birth was easier on my body and less painful. It's a whole different kind of pain!
Good luck!

I, also had a 8lb 4oz baby girl. She is now 20 months. It takes a while to feel normal down there. Actually, I don't think our bodies will ever be the same again, we just have to get used to the new normal. I don't feel any different during sex, but I still have trouble sometimes inserting a tampon, as crazy as it sounds. It's like I have 3 holes to insert it in instead of one, and sometimes it just won't go in ...it's just that I am stretched out down there. Everything has shifted! I never had this trouble before giving birth. So, give it time to adjust, then you'll just get used to the new you.

Im a mother of 4. 3 boys that are older 16,13 and 10. now an 8 week old girl.one of them was also 8.4 I am here to tell you it will go back it really takes time thought seemed like almost a year but i noticed that it really wasnt untill i started excercising regularly along with keegals.Not sure it will ever be exactly the same... but enough to make me happy:)

Hi H.! YES it does bounce back. 5 months is about when I started having sex again with any regularity, and I felt the same way- i was horrified, not to mention terrified that i wouldn't feel anything again. I actually discussed this with my mom (i know, AWKWARD) and she assured me things just take awhile to get back in order. My daughter is now 15 months old, and neither my husband nor i can tell i ever had a baby (well, except that my boobs are a completely different shape than before, but that's okay). I continue to do kegals (sp?) and I do try to hold myself tighter during sex- mainly out of my mental concern that i'm "bigger" but my husband swears he can't tell. don't fret! 5 months isn't that long of a time.

A couple of things might be happening. I had 3rd degree tears and needed physical therapy that consisted of bio-feedback for kegel exercises plus treating the scar tissue with an ultrasound (it's a special ultrasound hear and they actually cover it with a condom and insert it and treat the scar tissue with the waves from the ultrasound). I healed much faster thanks to that. This took about 6 weeks. My husband and I waited 4 months after my son's birth to try because of all the treatments I was going through and I just wasn't physiclaly ready (emotionally I was ready the next day). It felt uncomfortable and strange for both of us. We just kept on trying, very gently, and after about 3 months it just kept getting better. Now it really feels exactly like it used to except that we don't have as much time to relax. I still look different down there though and to this day, I can't bring myself to use tampons again. I tried a few times but it just feels weird and am just uncomfortable with their use and just use pads (well, now I'm pregnant again but have used pads instead of tampons until I got pregnant).

It will get better but you do need to discuss with your doctor because you might just have scar tissue that hasn't healed and won't fully heal without the ultrasound therapy and it's a shame not to treat it.

Good luck.

I don't know if I really have any answers for you or not but I had my daughter 3 1/2 years ago and had a "3rd degree tear" which I had stitches for. I noticed right away that things def looked different and still to this day do but I never noticed a difference as far as feeling during sex and if my husband can he has never told me. I did have a lot of pain the fist few times which I contributed to only waiting the 6 weeks I was instructed to wait and within a few months the pain had passed. If it contines to be a problem for you I would def call your doctor b/c even if it is normal (which it probably is) there still maybe somthing that can be done. I know there is a surgery you can have to tighten things back up if you decided that was necessary so don't think you have to live with this forever.

Best Wishes!!

I gave birth to a 8lb 4 oz Noah also! He is 16 months old. I felt the same way with several experiences post baby, decreased sensation, less desire, less satisfaction and overall poor self esteem thereafter. It will get better, not back to the old you, but better. I'm not sure of exact time fram but maybe around 8-9 months my sexual experience was more enjoyable for both my husband and I. Keep up with not only kegels but abdominal exercises (crunches) as they help with pelvic muscles also. It helps to have a supportive husband and let him in on all the info so he knows how you feel and that this is all normal. good luck!

I was amazed when I read your message because I literally just (last week) asked my OB/GYN about feeling "wider" during sex (and really all the time). My little boy is a year now, and he was also big (9 lb. 5 oz.). My husband and I talk about it, and he says he doesn't notice anything, but I am very self conscious about it. Anyway, what the GYN said: it's completely normal to feel more open down there, and you may feel that way for a long time--maybe forever. You've given birth, and you're not going to be the "same"--in many ways--ever again. BUT, there are things to do to make sex feel more pleasurable again: keep up the kegels, reconnect emotionally, and lots of foreplay--or whatever gets you in the mood. He did mention that there is physical therapy targeted at strengthening your vaginal muscles, but that wasn't something I wanted to do--right now at least. Keep in mind: Your body is different, but you can still enjoy it! Hope that helped!

I haven't read through the responses, but it takes time for your body to return to form. I too had a 8lb 4oz baby and it just takes time and my OB recommended kegel exercises (you need to retone your muscles).

I don't know when I returned to normal, but it wasn't too terribly long.

Hello,

I would still do the keegals daily and then talk to your OBGYN that is what they are there for.
Good luck.
K.

I suggest waiting a few more months; your body needs at least 9 months to "undo" what took 9 months to create and push out. Just like the stretch in your belly will return to a somewhat pre-baby shape so will the rest of your body. If what you're seeing is a major concern to you then certainly see your doctor so that you're not worried about it and can focus on your baby and your husband.

Yes you should have bounced back fairly quickly. I am sorry you are having this issue. Ive had 3 kids and my husband says I dont feel any different down there. Keep up w/ the kegels, they cant hurt. And meanwhile go ahead and see your obgyn so they can take a look at things. Your other options: theres always vaginal rejuvination. Its a fairly new process and I do not know what it involves. And then you can also try a different sexual position to make it feel tighter. Side ways: you lay on your side and you can put one leg up or down. Or doggie style w/ your legs closed and his on the outside.
Hope this helps and that things improve for you soon.

There's no need to be embarrassed. It's only been five months. Just remember, it took over 9 months for a human being to grow in your body, hours to get him out, and will take years to raise him. My point is your body will be different because your body has experienced a life-changing event. But, our bodies are so amazing and have the capacity to be reshaped. You should find your body changing again and again over the years. It might be a few more months before you notice your vaginal muscles returning to "normal", so just be patient and keep doing your Kegels. I'd mention it to the OB when you visit for follow-up. Not to discourage, but it took my body years to come close to pre-pregnancy shape, and I had two c-sections! Both my children were about 4 years old before I felt my sex drive return to normal.