My son's wife wants the divorce and he doesn't. They are working to finalize the divorce. She has few hours and little pay in her job. He owns his own business which is struggling. She keeps asking for more money. They went before a judge. The judge decreed that my son has to pay her a higher maintenance fee, which I understand. But why did the judge decree that he has to pay her lawyer's' fees? Is this just a case of one lawyer making a better argument? Is this how it's usually done? Ugh, seems so unfair.
Thanks so much to all the moms and grandmoms that gave me input. Just knowing that it happens to others is some help. It was very kind of you all to take the time to write to me. I will pass along your thoughts to my son.
The court system is not "fair". Yes, it matters who has the best lawyer. It can go any way in court and is never "logical". A judge has all the power to decide what he/she chooses. Mediating disagreements is almost always better than taking them to court.
It happens all the time, usually when there is a large disparity in the spouses incomes. Since your son is the main breadwinner in the marriage and probably was so throughout the marriage, he gets stuck paying her attorney fees (since that money is still technically familial money until the divorce is finalized). It has nothing to do with who wanted the divorce.
I've been told that who ever files first can be made to pay for the others attorney fee's as unfair as that is, I feel each should be responsible for their own attorney fees or atleast done on a case by case situation cause I'm sure there are some people that deserve to pay for the spouses attorney fees..
I am sorry that this is a fact of life but...it is. All negotiations in a divorce are hard and everyone gets screwed.
Do they have kids? Will she keep the primary residence? The business may be struggling but in this economy EVERYONE is. So, there is an assumption that when this is over, his business will be back to the way it was before or better.
I don't know how long they were married, but I imagine that she has become accustomed to a certain lifestyle and she wants to keep it. He unfortunately is the one to have to pay.
Does your son still love her and not want the divorce because of that or does he not love her but would stay married to not deal with the aftermath?
It's common, although "fair" is debatable. That's why men that initiate a divorce often determine it's "cheaper to keep her."
who ever files first sues for attorney fees its not always granted I sued for them he only had to pay $1000 of $4000
fair? can't say without knowing the ins and outs, i know my dh's ex wife tried to stick him with legal fee's ss cs AND paying the mtg pmt AND gas and maint fee's for her car to travel to come pick up the girls ending visitation time would've cost him more than he made to pay cs and ss alone as 800 + mtg was 500. she only got ss and cs, and ss she let go because she let a man move in with her releasing my dh from ss.
