Is Your Husband a Pollyanna?

My husband isn't a Pollyanna - no, ma'am! - but I am.

Have you ever read the Pollyanna books? They're very old, and they sound sugary to modern ears, but they're worth reading and you might be able to find them at the library. They're children's stories about an orphaned girl whose papa, before he died, taught her a game of finding the good in anything that happened. He taught it to her because their life was very difficult and he didn't want her to grow up bitter. It helped them face the hard times, and it stood the little girl in good stead when she had to go live with a bitter, angry relative who didn't love her at all.

Let him be as positive and upbeat as he wants. I have no doubt that he understands the seriousness of his situation (especially since he lost his assistant!). This is one of the ways he's handling it. Think of the alternative: do you really want a grouchy, angry, bitter husband around the house?

If he isn't sure what to do, then the problem is his future, not his attitude. You can say, "Well, I'm amazed that you can keep on smiling. But I wish we could sit down over dinner some time and think about some plans for the future. If you'll at least think about the alternatives, I'll do whatever you need to help with them, and I'll even smile for you if you want. Or I'll smile *at* you if that's better!"

Yes! But I love that about him. He won't say anything bad about anybody...

I have 2 friends on fb who asked me to lunch. One is a former bf, one wanted to be (we worked together) but was married. I informed my husband & he says "Oh, they just want to be friends!" I sometimes wish he were just a tad jealous! Btw, I didn't meet them and they are both old (haha...7 or 8 years older)....

Once when he went hunting with a kinda shady character, the guy cheated him out of some meat. Then, when they moved from our street, the guy was loading OUR bbq grill into his truck! Had to talk hubby into going over there to get it back. :(

My husband is the exact opposite...he doesn't trust anyone and rarely sees the good in people.

Example: His favorite saying (which makes me cringe) is 'People, as a whole, are basically stupid'...sadly as the years have past I have found myself agreeing with him more and more!

My business partner and I both have husbands that worry all of the time.. They also always start off by being negative.. They feel like everyone is out to take advantage of them.

We like to tease our husbands by saying "Doom, Doom, Doom".

They just always start off expecting the worst in so many situations..

Of course they call us the "Pollyanas".. Because we are always seeing the positive and expecting the positive.

I just think men are worriers. If they see the worst, they are not surprised when it all goes to hell. If it turns out fine, they are pleasantly surprised..

I married my husband because I loved him just as he is. They do not change.. instead it becomes more pronounced. Just support him as best you can. I like to cheer on my husband by telling him the positive things that have happened in the past.

When things do go bad, I also tell him, "we can deal with this." "We can make this happen. " Lets break this down into what we CAN do.. "

We have been married 30 years this next week. This is what marriage is all about. You are married to your best friend, so you will do whatever it takes to support them and let them know you are not going anywhere, you 2 can get through anything.

I love my husband but he sees the world with rose colored glasses, too. He trusts people, believing that they have his interests close to their hearts and trust me, he's "learned" some lessons but yet he still chooses to believe that everyone can be trusted. When he calls in sick and his employer calls him at home to troubleshoot something from home, I scold him and tell him that he really needs to stop catering to his employer on his sick time. Sometimes I think my husband believes that the company wouldn't survive without him. It annoys me to the end of the earth.

Oh yes! And that's just the reality of jobs these days. I do wonder if he's taking too much time with patients however, as the doc I work for sees 50 patients in a six hour day, and none of them complain he's too fast, they actually appreciate that they know they can get in, get fixed, and get on with their day! Other chiropractors I know are similar. Maybe he could try cutting them down to save his job? If not, chiros are still in demand everywhere!

I completely understand your frustration. I think it's more arrogance than anything else. It took me many years to allow my husband to learn the lesson in his own time. We naturally tend to discount our mate's input anyway. No one likes to be told "I told you so." After all, you aren't rooting against him. Many times the disagreement is just the push-pull between spouses. When the world teaches him the lesson, which eventually does happen, he'll get the message. It's what I call the universe correcting itself. The truth is, everyone at every job is replaceable and even more so now in this tough economy. Meantime, I have learned to be less vocal and keep a wait and see attitude. Men and women are rediculous in different ways. I'm sure they think it's laughable to buy a dress that's too small and try and squeeze into it in time for an event, starving ourselves or whatever quick fix diet we attempt. He will learn to be grateful in time. I try and remember to be grateful that I have someone complaining at me or that he leaves dirty socks on the floor. Wouldn't it be sad if the house was quiet with no one to take care of when we are old?

Yes! Like other people have said, I like it about him but it also amazes and annoys me sometimes. My parents are the opposite - everyone is out to con us etc - so of course I was raised that way. What's interesting is now how to guide our kids. I think looking for the positive in situations and life is good but trusting everyone etc, I'm not so sure. My sister was recently saying how when she and her friends went to Europe after college, she was amazed at how naive they were. Our parents had drilled it into our heads not to trust anyone so she said she thinks she kept them out of some potentially shady situations. My MIL also thinks everyone is "wonderful!". On one hand I admire her for it and she has to think that way or she'd have gone crazy bc their family is pretty messed up. But at the same time, I think how my parents being suspicious and critical was a kind of driver to think ahead and plan. I also think that couples tend to balance each other. If your husband was worrying like crazy, you likely would worry less. And if he knows you're the worrier, it's like you take care of that part of life for him. But my husband laughs at my dad's frequent saying of "it's a shake down." Same time, my dad was in law enforcement and he says he was lied to so many times...

I think that every now and then we all have to get one or give one every now and then. My husband is overly optimistic about everything so at times I think that I can understand your frustration, but at other times I am thankful that he always tries to see the bright side because some times over the last few years we have been faced with some really tough times. Your husband may just want to not dwell on the fact that he soon could be out of work. I can't really blame him. If you want too, then start to financially plan for the worse with or with out his blessing. Never hurt to have a rainy day fund. Also, ask him for piece of mind, to start looking around at fall back jobs. Never hurts to be prepared.