Is TV the Devil?

I am probably the wrong mom to ask. We sstay away from the TV. 1maybe 2 short shows a day.

I know it is hard. I was on bedrest with my second so we had to do lots of stuff in Mommy's room.
It was easier with my third as the other 2 would play together

I hear you loud and clear... I am pregnant with number 4, and my oldest has gotten to love tv, because every time I get pregnant, I let him watch. but he is 5 now, and although the tv is on all the time, we still read, and they ru;n and jump and play...I almost think it is just the noise they crave, because they rarely just sit down and watch it. I feel like a bad mom myself for letting it be on all the time too, but I do believe it is the lesser of two evils. Good luck to you with number 3, and the thought that makes me feel better, is something the ped. told me that pertains to most things about parenting...if you are consious and worry about things, you probablly have them under control...it is the people that never think about this stuff, and don't care that will have problems later.

I think that being 9 months pregnant makes you exempt from any t.v. rules! (So does having a newborn and being ill, by the way.) As moms, we have to do what we have to do to get through the day sometimes.

I try to limit my kids (ages 2 and 4) to no more than 2 hours a day. My kids don't usually sit in front of the t.v. that whole time, but I'd still rather have them playing and running around.

In a couple of months, you'll have more energy (and be able to move faster!) and then you'll be able to keep up with your twins and they won't be in front of the t.v. as much.

I was doing the same thing...not even realizing how much TV my daughter was watching. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get through the day. We ALL have those days. I tried reducing the hours of TV, but then it became a battle between us. So, to take me out of the equation, I created TV passes. She gets 4 passes a day...1 pass per show. She's only 3 and doesn't realize that some shows are longer than others, when that time comes, we'll adjust. She puts a pass in the bucket when she wants to watch a show. Some days she is done with her shows by 10am and other days she still has one left. This way she gets to make her choices without having to battle it out with Mom. Good luck with this and the new baby!

I completely understand your dilemma. My son is almost 3 and I'm also 9 months pregnant and man is it hard to keep up with him! We are lucky enough to have a yard and plenty of toys so I will take him outside and just sit and watch him play while I rest, but I am not an outdoor person in the winter so I sometimes feel guilty about the amount of TV time he gets. I really don't think we should have to feel like "scum of the earth" though. I have read plenty of informations that says kids do actually learn from television, so long as they are watching educational shows. My issue is with commercials so we only allow the Disney channel or PBS and we have DVD's of other shows he likes. One thing I try to do that helps me not feel so guilty is to make time to periodically turn off the TV and plan activities...reading, going to the library, painting, things like that. I also try and watch with him sometimes, he enjoys that and so do I. Try not to be so hard on yourself...it's not easy being pregnant and having to chase toddlers around (especially with twins I'm sure!). Congrats and good luck!

Don't fret, especially with what's on your quickly approaching agenda honey! They'll survive. Take charge after the baby is born and you move. :)

This seems to be something that you will probably see VERY mixed opinions on. My husband is a stay at home dad, I leave for work at about 6:30 every morning, he gets up between 7 and 7:30. Before I leave I turn the TV on to either Sprout or Noggin (whatever 295 is with DirecTV)then turn the TV off again. If our daughters get up before my husband, they go in and turn the TV on, it's age appropriate shows and my husband can hear them. Like your children, they don't watch it 100% of the time. They play and watch. We did learn that our 4 year old liked to play with the remote, so I started putting them up high when I was done with the TV in the morning. This way she can't turn it to something else, or raise the volume really high. You may want to consider that with your channel surfer.

One thing to keep in mind with the shows on Noggin (and Sprout for that matter) is that they all seem to have a hidden educational lesson. The kids don't see it, but if you were to sit and watch it, you'd pick up on it. One of them even re-runs the same exact show throughout the day (for example the Seasame Street that plays at 7 a.m. is the same one at 1 p.m. or whenever). Talk about repeating the lesson!!

On a good day, our girls only get a couple hours in the morning. Then it's either play time (with daddy's shows on TV) or they have running to do. We have a backyard and yesterday they were outside all day. They loved it. However, on rainy days or cleaning days they get more kid TV than normal. Sometimes it just can't be helped. On the weekends, I do watch what I want to watch, just as my husband watches what he wants during the weekdays. They either watch it with us or play. I don't think there is anything wrong with letting them watch educational kids shows for long periods of time. They're learning something and not watching shows that are inappropriate for young children.

I WISH my kids would sit down and just watch TV (LOL). Seriously, we have the TV on all day, too. But it's more like background noise. We still talk, play games, build with blocks, roll around with the dogs, or whatever else strikes our fancy WHILE watching TV here and there. I don't think it's such a terrible thing, especially, like you said, they're not drooling so that's a good thing.

It's a matter of balance. And in your case, convenience. But on days when you can't be out, make out a schedule. X amount of time on tv, X amount for play. And try to monitor them when they're watching, so they don't go channel surfing or chance on something inappropriate. And also that this would be when you could be feeding the baby and be with them at the same time.

It isn't easy juggling, but you'll do fine!

We don't let our son watch TV shows.. he's 17 months.. he watches sign language videos during his diaper changes that's it.

Don't beat yourself up. You need a break and you'll need an even bigger one once the baby arrives. Since you are aware that too much tv is not good for little brains, I'm sure that you'll get them outside as much as you can. You're going to have a rough year or two ahead. Whew! Three boys under 2! Maybe when you move, you can find a "mothers helper", a girl between 10-14 who would love to come and play with the older boys, take them outside or whatever for a little pay. If you could afford it, it would buy you peace of mind that your boys are getting fresh air and exercise but you would be home with them in case something happened. Good luck and don't sweat it. My boys watched a lot of tv when they were younger but now that they are school age, the amount has significantly decreased. All you can do is your best. Take care.

C.,

Every parent out there is guilty of using the T.V. as a babysitter, sometimes it just helps so you can get something done or take a rest. Your boys are not too young that when you are able you can get back to outdoor activities and playing and reading with them. I used the T.V. as a babysitter too when I needed to get the housework done or cook a meal. I think as long as you are careful about what they watch and introduce other activities during the day so that T.V. is not the first thing on their agenda and the last thing they see at night. Watching some won't hurt them. There will be those who disagree but don't let them bring you down or make you feel like a bad parent, you're not. Just get control of it before they reach the teen years, therein lies the problem!

S.

It's very easy to beat ourselves up as mothers. Cut yourself some slack and make a plan to change things after your new baby has arrived.
I didn't turn the television on during the day until it was time for relaxing and having a cup. Then we would set down together and the kids would relax... and after a few minutes into this I could sneak off and get my dishes done and the kids would be so tired from play that they would fall asleep.
When I was pregnant with my youngest I would be very tired and call my 2 older girls in to watch a disney movie with me on the bed and I would shut the door (so they wouldn't get up and wander) and I would fall asleep with them. I would get in the middle and we would take the nap together and I would get some rest! I'm a light sleeper so if one would attempt to leave the room I would wake up.
I can tell you from experience that life goes by too fast and before you know it your kids are grown! My girls are now 14, 12 and 9 and I wish I could go back and have those days again!
Housework and other things will always be there, but someday your children wont. Read to them, color with them, play games with them... let them do your hair in crazy styles (they love it!) Take them to the park and watch them play. I promise you that you will never regret all the time you spend with them. I still get emotional when I think of how fast life went by for mine.
Now that they are older, I still limit the television. Especially because there is so much filth on it! It's summer and I don't want them spending their childhood in front of it! During the day it's off and then when their dad gets home he likes to put it on! He puts on things that are appropriate for all of them.
It is a struggle when you don't have a yard and you're exhausted from being pregnant... I'm sure that you are a wonderful mother and you are doing the best you can right now! You will figure out what is best for you! The fact that you are even concerned shows you care! Good luck with the new baby!

I have 4 kids the oldest are 15 and 14 - they watched tv - like barney and blues clues etc and were both GATE (gifted) students their entire elementary and junior high

sooooooo if it hurt them it didnt too much! lol

Given your situation, I think that you'll just have to stay with the status quo. I would say once you feel like you're up to it after your baby is born (YOUR HANDS ARE GOING TO BE FULL!), you should just shut off the TV. They will figure things for themselves to do even if you can't interact. Rotating toys that are available to them might be a good idea. Also, just throwing a bunch of pots and pans/tupperware in the middle of the living room might interest them. What about balling up some paper and seeing what they do with it? I'm almost 2 weeks post partum and what I am trying to do is breakfast in the morning and then playing and then only let them watch Sesame Street at 10am and then outside, lunch, naps, and then play in the walkout portion of our house. it is tough when you're nursing though.. Good luck!

Our daughter is almost 10 months. We don't let her watch TV. We don't even turn it on utnil after she goes to bed.

The only time she watches any TV is when I have to clip her nails. If I don't have something strong to distract her it's a nightmare and she wakes up every time I try to do it while she's sleeping.

I read however, that small children can not distinguish between reality and fake. So, what they see on TV IS their reality. They can get very very engrossed in it. It also suggested it can delay language development.

Besides, we just don't like TV being the center of our lives. I just feel like we have better things to do with our time then watch TV. I encourage play and exploration rather then sitting in front of the TV. (and we currently live in an apartment... so yard).

Don't be so hard on yourself. As long as they are NOT watching anything like afternoon soaps! Noggin and PBS are great shows. They teach them wonderful life lessons...we love Cailou! Once you have the baby and feel better then you'll change the pace. I warn you that it may be a bit of a struggle the first week to change this routine, but you are the mom. Just be firm.
Totally understand...mom of 4 yr. old, 2 yr. old, and 6 mo. old

I have another suggestion. Sit in front of the computer with them on chairs on either side of you and check out these sites with them. Again, as others have said, a schedule is good. We set a timer for computer times.
www.uptoten.com
this site has 590 games and 60 songs for kids. Click on the "free" arrow on the left. Then on the next page click on Bouwa and Kwala
www.starfall.com
this site teaches ABC's, phonics, reads you stories, has games, etc.

Keep doing the best that you can!!! The fact that you are aware of how much tv your boys are watching and you are thinking about it is a sign that you are a good mother. My daughter watched way too much tv in my first trimester (when I was laying on the couch and puking all the time) and I know she has been watching more now that I am in my final weeks of pregnancy. I try to be aware of it, and I use the DVR so that she is only watching shows I approve of...not just any old show. I also try to engage with her about the show...talk about the colors or the counting or whatever it is. Then, I take advantage of days when I don't feel like I'm about to burst and I make sure we do things like playing playdough or watercolors or just taking a walk around the block. As you get back on your feet again after the C-section, try to set a routine/schedule when tv is allowed and try to limit it as best you can. I'm not an advocate of young children watching tv, but as a stay at home mom I know that there are some days its the only way we keep our sanity or get anything else done!! Hang in there...I'm sure you're a great mom!

Also...as an aside...I've taught my daughter where the books are and she'll bring them to me one at a time and I can just sit on the couch and she'll read with me for hours!!! this has become an alternative to watching tv for us some days when I'm just exhausted. My daughter turned 2 in April and lately has been playing much better independently...so there's hope in a few months your boys will occupy themselves without the tv on!!! Good Luck!!

Hi C.- No, I don't think you have anything to worry about. I have had the same thoughts myself, but my oldest is now 9, and is just fine! My kids do great in school, socially, as well as like to be outside; T.V. has not turned their brains into mush, or left them disinterested in other things. Just the fact that you are aware is huge. It means you are not letting them watch just anything, and some of the shows they have nowadays are educational!! They learn from them! You need to keep your sanity- especially now. And with the fact that you are moving soon which will allow the kids to be outside more is something to keep in mind, too; if the T.V. situation still bothers you. I am sure you may hear many opinions, but please - don't beat yourself up. You are doing a great job and have nothing to be worried about or ashamed of. Mommies need a bit of a break, too! Blessings--

I turned my 2 year old into a couch potato when I was pregnant with her sister. Pregnancy can suck the life out of you and watching videos with her was wonderful! I used to worry about TV watching too, but somehow my kids are intelligent, have no problems talking or developing. You do what you have to do to get through the day. I put TV on in the morning, they eat breakfast and I get some things done around the house, get them ready. But then we head out every day to do something outdoors or meet friends, grocery shop, whatever. Then they might watch a little before nap, then we find fun stuff to do after nap and there might be a little more TV before bed. It's a lot of work to keep these kids active so don't stress yourself out now while you're pregnant! And plus you'll need to heal after your C-section and adjust to new baby, you'll need lots of TV to keep your boys entertained until things get back to 'normal'! Good luck!

I think it is great that you are concerned. I know my son (now 4) watched more TV than normal when I was pregnant and while I was home on maternity leave. However, why not just turn off the TV. They will play and find something to do. Turn on a music CD or read stories. I found that using it as a reward for when I really needed to occupy my son or I was just exhausted worked better than just leaving it on all the time.

Good luck.

I am also pregnant. When I was going through the morning sickness phase I thought I was the worse mom in the world. But, my child watches baby einstein and seasmae street dvd's we don't have cable or dish, so I know and approve what he watches and he is advanced in all areas so I guess it's not stunting him in any way. I do try to turn it off when I can. For a while I tried limiting it and all we did was battle all day and he was awful. But if I don't make it an issue, he tends to play and ignore it anyway. So I would get through this situation and do the best mom you can do for now and reason with them when you are more able to handle what they will dish out.

My 3 and 5 year old love Noggin. I would try to sit with them cometimes and interact with them on what they are learning. I also had a c-section and being that far into your pregnany. I am sure your energy level is down. I think that as long as you interact with them what they see on the shows. It will not hurt them for a few weeks. Good-luck, and congrats on the new baby.

I wouldn't worry about the twins' television too much - obviously, at least one is curious enough to flip through channels [kids love all of the buttons on a remote; hmmm, what happens when I push THIS one?]. Does your cable/satellite provider have a lock-out option you could program so the television stays on a couple of pre-selected channels? At 16 months, it isn't unusual for little ones to start taking charge of their surroundings so programming to public television and the Disney channel or what-have-you gives them a choice in exploring their world a bit but also allows you to determine the content of that exploration.

In and of itself, television doesn't have to "turn their brains to mush" so long as it isn't used as an electronic babysitter. Being so heavily pregnant, you might enjoy a sit-down for an hour with them as they watch Blue's Clues or Teletubbies; the key here is being with them to point out things you'd like them to notice or think about. They enjoy showing M. what they're excited about too, so it can be a learning moment for all. A toddler doesn't have the attention span to focus on anything for very long - if toys are readily available, I think you'll see them forget the tube after an hour anyway. Too, remember that forbidden fruit has its own attraction! If you're tensed up about them watching television, they know it and it becomes the one thing they're determined to have, even at that age. So relax and enjoy with them - contrary to p.c., you're the adult here and can establish the parameters without going through a guilt trip if they see an extra 10 minutes of Bugs Bunny.

C.,

I don't think the tv is the devil and I have gone through this as well. I was put on bedrest at 30 wks with my twins and my 4 year old daughter stayed home with me most days until the babies were born. We watched a lot of tv as well because I could barely move, it couldn't sit up or lay down or stand. I am sure that you will not use the tv forever, and once you are not pregnant you will feel more active. It is also important what they are watching, if is educational, which is sounds like, then so what if they learn more from tv. I am quite laid back so I don't see a problem with it, others may not feel the same.

I am interested in what exactly you do, please let me know I am always looking for ways to earn money.
K.

You don't have to be a perfect parent, just an involved parent. Whether you are sitting with them interacting during a program, or playing catch ouside with them, you are teaching them and giving them quality time. Would you feel better if they were sitting outside wishing you could play with them even though you just can't? I doubt it. You are teaching them the value of time spent with loved ones...it is THE most important thing they need!

~L.

You need to be gentle with yourself right now! TV is not the devil. My girls watched alot of TV in the 1st months and last months of my pregnancy! Sometimes you just need to survive! The early days with a new baby are difficult too, so let the tv watching begin! I perfered videos to actual tv shows. Dora a Diego are our favorites!!
Many Blessings with the birth of your new baby!
K.

do what you have to do to make it through! Your children will not suffer long term from a little more TV right now. You are only a few days away from your C-section, give yourself a break. they will be ok!

Well ideally 16 months is very young to watch TV, although I see your situation with no yard and being pregnant--I feel for you. It does not sound like this is an ongoing issue and you sound like a good mom aware of what is good and bad for your kids, so they will be fine!!

I know they say not to let your child under 2yrs old watch tv and after 2 yrs to limit to like 2hrs daily. I try not to use the tv as a babysitter as most would call it when you let them watch it but it honestly helps when you need to get things done and they are underfoot and i only have one. my son is 27 months old. I just only let him watch certain things. He walked really early but didn't talk until later. i contribute letting him watch these shows to helping him have such a large vocabulary now. yes reading helps alot but being as we live in a small apartment and not alot of room to play when were not reading sometimes he is watching tv. He loves dora, diego, wonder pets, sesame street, ect... he has picked up so many things from these shows like learing more words for all especially dora, helping from diego, and wonder pets, and counting and letters from seasame street. so i would not feel bad at all about it. i def don't let him watch things with no meaning like spongebob or something like that. hope this helps. Jen

Hi C.
I'm inclined to say yes it is. I can't stand all the marketing aimed at kids. All of them are to young to know it's a scam. But on to the hard science brain development. Check out the book "Boys and Girls learn differently" by Michael Gurian , Patricia Henley , Terry Trueman. It's quite interesting really, and explains a lot about behavior, and learning styles. The book talks about how tv/computer effects boys brain development. It sort of stunts 1/2 of the brain, and can make reading (a whole brain function) harder.
That being said we keep our tv watching to 1 1/2 hours, and that feels like to much for a 5yo to me. I try not to let her watch stuff w/ commercials, and I watch with her, or am close by and listening. Maybe your boys would like a kids yoga video, or they could be learning spanish. At least noggin doesn't have commercials.
Happy new baby to you! A. H

Ruining your kids life? Brains turn to mush?

It sounds like you have some critical, negative and, frankly, paranoid voices around you that are making you question your mothering value.

I would recommend getting a way to make the 'surfing' acceptable to you (we have always had channel programming on our tvs, so we could make CNN and MTV 'not visible'), and maybe lighten up a little about it.

I don't think anything about TV is nefarious in and of itself. There used to be a piece of graffiti that I just loved downtown: children will only behave like TV persnalities if their parents do.

I do know that the more of an issue of power and control you make this (and any other subject) the more opportunities you'll have to struggle about it, and the more focussed on it your little ones will become. Consider that this is a season of TV for pragmatic reasons, and know another season of other stuff will come along soon...

Put videos in rather than tv. That way you are more aware of the timing. when the video is done you have them do something else. THis way they will really watch the shows when they are on and they can focus better on play when it is off.

Plan one activity (other than tv) in the morning and one in the afternoon.
We do
Blanket Time - sit on a blanket in the living room with one thing - puzzle, cars, plastic cups and lima beans for pouring and counting, magnets, books, stacking cups,etc

Table time - coloring, play doh, small plastic animals (zoo tube - sold at Michaels) Cars or animals in play doh.

Crib time or room time if out of crib- 2 or 3 toys and a few books.

For each of these I set the timer for 20 mins and they know they can't be done until the they hear the beep. I also try to have them do one activity alone and one with me. I often will do blanket time with one then at table time I will spend time playing with the other. That way they will both have mom time.

It is hard being pregnant and keeping up energy for little ones. Give yourself some grace. You may not want to start this activity thing until the dust settles from the move. On the other hand it may make life easier having them in a scheduled routine before the baby comes.

God bless you!

I'd have to say, give yourself a break. You love your kids and don't just plop them in front of the tv all day, right? We have the means to introduce our children to all kinds of stuff via the tv that our parents might not have been able to. Learning is good. Relax. Just be aware! :)

S.

I used to feel guilty about this subject also. I just learned to accept that TV is a part of all our lives, I watch it, my husband watches it so now our 4 year old watches it. He only watches noggin and in my opinion he actually learns quite a bit from some of the shows on there. I really didn't mind it in the winter time, but now that it is summer I want him outside playing as much as possible. We did have a problem at the beginning of summer where he would actually say he wanted to go in and watch noggin. That worried me alot but I put my foot down and said nope its a beautiful day and we are staying outside. Now I don't have any problems he will stay outside and keep himself entertained all day. I like the fact that he will watch tv because he never used to up until a year ago, and now it is nice because I can get things done around the house. When he sees that I am done he still asks me to play with him. We still have it on depending on what we are doing but hes not glued to it. Noggin is educational so don't feel guilty about it. Now I don't like some of the shows that they have on nickeldeon like spongebob, I think those shows are absolutley pointless. I don't even turn that channel on, I stick with noggin and that is it. If hes going to watch TV then I rather have it be something he can learn from.

TV is not the devil...
I am not saying 'let it be a babysitter' but just stick to the shows you know you approve and everything will be fine.

Heck, even I enjoyed watching Blue's Clue's with my son.
... one of the better childrens shows!

Good luck with your C section!

Hi C.,

I think it's a legitimate concern if your kids are zombies when the TV is turned on, but it sounds like your household is a lot like mine. The TV is on a lot of the day, but it's pretty much background noise. And I think that is a good thing, especially when they are educational shows that they're "listening" to. My son won't be watching a show, but playing with his toys while something is on. Then later, he will repeat something that he heard from the show. They're listening and learning, even when they're not watching.

The neighbor kids barely ever get to watch TV (it's the devil at their house), and when they come over here, all they want to do is watch TV because it's a big deal when they get to watch something at home. I have to remind them that they came here to PLAY. My son doesn't have that issue when he goes to their house. All he wants to do is play, because TV isn't something that's so "regulated" at our house. It's nothing special to my son because it isn't so restricted. Again, if my son was zoning on the TV and not playing, I would worry about it. But he's smart and social, and plays well.

I wouldn't worry, whether or not you're leaving it on more because you're pregnant. You also have twins, which means it helps you regain a little sanity, I'm sure. Don't feel guilty. I think you're doing the right thing by making sure it's educational programming (PBS is also great), and by making sure they continue to play and not just zone out.

Good Luck,
A.

I highly doubt you are turning your boys' brains into mush. I would suggest letting them watch educational shows, shows with interaction (Dora for example), things of that nature. My son is 13 months and really isn't interested in the TV all too much, but he does watch Mickey's Playhouse in the morning then Manny's Toolhouse, or whatever that is called - then he is done. Maybe watching educational shows will ease your mind. But I wouldn't worry. It's not going to limit their speech, or turn them in to couch potatoes LOL.