Is This the "Terrible 2'S"?

I would say no...
Personally I think of the terms "terrible twos" as being an excuse for kids to behave badly. :-) None of my kids had what most would call the "terrible twos"... But then again... I tend to be proactive.

Some of this may apply... Some may not... Its sorta rambling... Take what you want and ignore the rest...

Lets use your example of your girly going back to doing wrong 4 times. Did you wait for her to do it again BEFORE going over and putting yourself in the situation? I would have moved my chair to be right beside what she was heading for and sat there as a visual deterent. You warned her once... then put her in time out. After that there is no warning. Its straight to time out. (I never get to 3... If one warning is not enough I am moving to correct the issue BEFORE 2...)
Everyone gets to the point of being at wits end... Especially with a toddler! You are not alone in this. But consistancy is a MUST. She should not be telling you no. As I tell my toddlers (kneel down and get eye to eye with them) then tell them that is not how to talk to mommy! If you start that young, they will get it when they are older.

Don't expect any ones answers to fix things all of a sudden.
Only YOU know your girlys personality.
She obviously has respect at a young age of your father. He probibly let her know what is and is not acceptable when he is around. Doing this is not just a verbal thing. Its a physical thing also. If she is playing with something she's not supposed to you MUST TAKE IT AWAY... Even if its keeping her quiet for a few minutes... Its not allowed. period...
There are times to be flexible. But when you are talking about laying the foundation of respect and rules in a toddler there is very little space for flexibility...
When she's in the time out chair your ears should be turned off... No talking to her... she should not talk to you... Ignore her. (of course use your mommy senses to make sure she's not gonna hurt herself, but make her think you can't hear her when she's in the chair.)

If she knows she's not supposed to be touching something because you have warned her 1500 times I would do away with the warning. Act immediately. You see it, walk over and take it away from her tell her firmly not to touch... or it will be the time out chair. Then if she touches again... No warning... Walk over... Take her to the chair. The only thing you need to say is "you know not to touch that... Time out" then your ears go off.
At 2 she does remember things. So the whole she's a kid with a short memory does not apply. Especially in cases that you tell her 30 times a day the same thing...

Maybe ask your dad what he does in those cases... But then again... kids tend to listen to men more than women... Its the deep scary voice that sorta snaps them back into shape...

Just remember... I don't know your girly or her personality... Everyone responds to different styles of punishment differently. If timeouts in a chair are not working perhaps turn the chair around so that it is looking at a wall... Or move it to a different room than you are in... As she gets older perhaps turn it into standing in a corner... Whatever works for HER personality...

At 2, she is learning that she does not *have* to do what you say. Now comes the job of making her *want* to do what you say. This is when she will learn that following the rules will be extremely more beneficial to her than not following the rules, but only through your consistency. If she knows that her choice to disobey will always be met with the same consequence, and that choosing to obey will always be met with praise, guess which one she will choose? It's hard to be consistent every time, but you have to invest now and you job will be SOOOOO much easier in a year! We are just now enjoying the benefits of consistent discipline for the first couple of years in our kids' lives' and it is truly a joyful time. We have peace and well behaved children (with the occasional reverting back to being just plain kids!)

Good luck

W.,

I have to agree wholeheartedly with everything that Beth said. The only thing I could think of to add to her advice would be to redirect her. If she is pounding on the window, after her time out, perhaps you could get her interested in something else, something positive that she is allowed to do. So not only are you disouraging the negative behavior but encouraging something positive to replace it. Good luck.

Yep, testing the limits here. My best learned advice - you have to be emotionless and consistent to make it through the terrible twos. Once she sees that she can push your butons by performing unwanted behaviors, she will be that for a long time - and breaking that trend at 15 yrs old isn't where you want to be! Don't let it get to that point.

Your time outs will work- again, consistent responses is the key. It will take 100 times some days - maybe 101. But, the very first time you give in to her behavior, you will have just taught her persistance. She'll be saying "oh, yesterday mom caved at 10 trips to time out, today I'll have to try a little longer, scream a little louder, but she'll cave eventually and I'll win". If she leaves the designated time out spot, you have to utter no words and place her right back there. Again, and again, and again. It will be a time investment for you and it may not end quickly.

At the same time you are being the mean mom and sticking to your guns, you are teaching your child trust. She will know that without fault, you mean what you say and say what you mean. This concept comes in very handy when at 15 yrs old she asks to go to a party and you reply with "it's ok to go but if you want to come home early or if things gets out of hand, call me and I'll be there to get you, no questions asked." She will know that you trust her decisions and she can trust that you WILL be there to pick her up and feel confident that she can make trustworthy decisions on her own.

So, having said all that, parenthood is the toughest job you'll ever love. Our children depend on us to teach them right from wrong, and how to become responsible, productive adults. Dealing with the 45th temper tantrum of the day isn't the fun part, but the other side of the fence is much worth the trip to get there.

She is testing you...and yes, it's normal.

Time outs only work so much at this age. Try to think of a positive way to teach her...

For example, when my 16 mos old hits... we say "lets use nice hands". If she continues the behavior, we hold her hands and tell her "don't hit, nice hands". We try not to say "no"...because that doesn't let her know what she is doing wrong.