Is This Tacky? - Los Angeles,CA

Updated on December 22, 2015
N.Z. asks from Los Angeles, CA
33 answers

Is it tacky to give someone a meat marinade that they love (in a jar or something) without the meat? My husband says it's tacky -- that it's like giving someone who has no shoes just the shoelaces without the shoes. He thinks that it's better to give them meat that has already been marinated.

The marinade is for a close friend of ours who had a baby just over two weeks ago. We already dropped off about a week's worth of frozen meals right before they had the baby, but I also wanted to drop this off because this is something they love and they can get several meals out of it because it would last a while. They can use it (or not use it) when they want -- when they don't really have anything to eat or if they don't want to eat what they have. All they would need to do is to get the meat and marinade it overnight.

I personally think it's better to give them (or anyone) the marinade without the meat because that way, they can use it when they want to without having to worry about cooking the meat before it goes bad. What if they don't feel like eating it during the short time before the meat goes bad?

I feel like it's totally reasonable and okay -- it makes sense in my head. But I could be wrong. Am I way off?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

This is NOT a gift. These friends are like our family and this is just me wanting to help out, to give our friends an easy to prep homemade meal since they're probably too tired to cook. They don't have family or other friends that can help with meals/baby. The only family they have is the baby's paternal grandfather who's pretty useless.
----
Elena B: this is a marinade for Korean BBQ short ribs (galbi)

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Des Moines on

I think it would be tacky to give them marinated meat! That is just weird, unless you are bringing it to a BBQ. I think it is sweet, and you are right.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

No it's not tacky. I think it's sweet. When I was tired/broke/overwhelmed, and someone gave me ANYTHING to help out, I was grateful.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I think it is a great idea, especially if they love it. Him saying that is like saying you need to provide the liquid ingredients for those cookie or pancake mix jars that you can give as gifts.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

your husband is so weird. i don't understand that at all. so if i want to give my kid a car air freshener i'm tacky for not giving him the car too? if i give somebody a saddle, i should also pony up a pony?
what if they want to enjoy the marinade with pork chops and you only gave 'em beef tips?
tell your husband to go vacuum out the dryer vent and leave you alone.
khairete
S.

11 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Of course it's not tacky. One year my SIL have us cute little jars of an Emeril dry rub meat/fish spice mixture that she made herself. It was well received and appreciated!
Ask your husband how this is any different than giving jars of jam without toast, or homemade syrup without ice cream, that's just silly. Men can be clueless about these things (and yet they always want to insert their opinion don't they?)

10 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Totally reasonable.

But why don't you ask her since it's not a formal gift or anything. Just call or text and say "hey, I'm bringing over some of your favorite marinade, want me to stop and pick up some chicken or beef on the way over or do you think you'll be saving it another week?"

Honestly I find that men are just not as tuned into the social mores of this kinda thing like we womenfolk are ;)

6 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

I think it's awesome since it's not a gift. In fact, I'd like some too!

:)

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.W.

answers from Portland on

I think it's a nice gesture to give a person something they would already like. Given the points you have raised, I'd say don't overthink it. Either they will use it or not, just like any gift out there.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Portland on

Personally I don't think any act of kindness is tacky - I'm sure it will be appreciated :)

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Miami on

Oh heavens. Your husband doesn't know what he's talking about. Don't talk to him about this kind of stuff. All he does is make you doubt yourself. Does he do that a lot?

The marinade is a lovely idea! Ignore Mr. Bossy.

4 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I personally do not see that as tacky.

Look at it this way... Many of us give flavored specialty olive oils, etc . I see it no different that those gifts. Use at your own pace!!

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

It is absolutely okay. I would think it was strange for someone to give me marinading meat. You keep sounding like you think this is akin to providing new parents with a meal. It's not, it's just marinade, they still have to cook. But it's also not like giving a shoeless person shoe strings - it's not tacky unless that person is so poor they can't buy their own shoes. This is no different than ;people giving out homemade goodies at the holiday season. but really in the whole scheme of life this is a non-issue and I would just forget the whole thing rather than devote this much time, effort and stress into giving out some marinade.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from St. Louis on

If they are close friends, I would call her or message her and say I just made some marinade, I have extra, would you like me to drop some off to you. If she says yes, it can't be tacky.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I don't thin it is tacky to give just the marinade. I would fancy it up a bit and just not the bottle. You could put it in a basket or something.

A few years back I made BBQ sauce up and my neighbor still talks about it. This year I will make more and give him a few more bottles (glass canning bottles) for him to use with his smoker.

The meat I would not include as you don't know what they like or the type of cuts.

the other S.

3 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

Not tacky at all for either a gift or to help out.
They may not want to use it right away and probably wouldn't want the meat sitting too long in the fridge.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Seattle on

I would love and accept the meat marinade without the meat :)

As a matter of fact, I'd take the recipe now if you don't mind sharing :) :)

2 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I wouldn't think it's tacky...especially if you are close enough with them to have brought over so much already. We LOVE the Honey Terriyaki sauces from Tastefully Simple. At $9 a bottle, I would be beyond excited if someone gave me one!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.B.

answers from Austin on

I love to cook, and I consider myself to be a pretty competent cook. I think a gift of a cooking essential, such as a special marinade, an unusual salt, an exotic spice, etc, is a very nice gift. People who enjoy cooking at home, or grilling, or who routinely make family meals love getting something special for their recipes.

Now, it might be tacky or a little strange if the person for whom this marinade is intended doesn't do anything more than microwave water for ramen, or gets all his or her meals from the drive-through lane at the fast food restaurant, or who lives in a college dorm, or who doesn't have any money for groceries at all - let alone meat.

But it sounds as though your friend knows how to marinate meats, and how to cook, and other than recently having had a baby is able to purchase groceries, so in my opinion, this is a really nice and thoughtful idea! It allows the person the option to get a less expensive cut of meat, or choose whatever meat they want, and they'll already have this special marinade.

You might include a little note card, listing the ingredients in the marinade (in case of any allergies), and directions and ideas about how to use it. Put it in a nice mason jar or new glass jar with a ribbon tied around it, not a used peanut butter jar (not that you would, of course!).

By the way, what is this delicious marinade?

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I would appreciate it without the meat like you described, we are vegetarians as are many of my friends. I don't think it's tacky at all, especially if you know they like them. Meatballs or short ribs wouldn't work for me since it has been 1988 since I have consumed meat. Not tack at all!

2 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I think it's lovely as a gift, regardless of the circumstances. I don't think it's particularly "helpful" to new parents in the way that the week's worth of frozen meals were, but that doesn't make it less of a nice gift. The meals you prepared were to be practical and designed to give them as little work to do as possible. The marinade does require them to do the work - shop for the meat and cook it. But that doesn't mean it isn't a nice treat for them, especially since you know they just love it. Since the marinade will keep, at least for a while, it does offer them flexibility. Unless you know for sure that they know how to use it, I would jazz it up just a little by attaching a tag with the instructions - recommended cut of meat, length of time to marinate it, and the roasting instructions (how many minutes per pound and at what temperature, either in the oven or in a slow cooker). If you don't know for sure that they have a meat thermometer, you might include that. However, you've already done a lot for them and I don't think you need to apologize for giving them marinade! I agree with you that giving them the marinated meat kind of says, "You have to cook this NOW and be stuck with a big roast and hopefully will have room in the fridge." That's not at all helpful unless you have planned it out with them and know they have the room.

If they had just had the baby and if you had done nothing else for them and then handed over a jar of marinade that required them to go food shopping and then cook something, I'd say it wasn't much help to new parents. But that's not the case here. It's more along the lines of an extra little something before Christmas - perhaps they are having people over, and they don't have much time to prep things? So something that just sits in the marinade and then sits in the oven might be very helpful. But as you say, they can decide when/if to use it.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Not tacky at all. But could you PLEASE PLEASE post the recipe.

2 moms found this helpful

V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Depends on context. Is it intended as a gift welcoming the new baby (like the other meals you provided)? If so, then I would include more than just the marinade. As another poster mentioned, maybe a basket with gift card for a meat market or grocery, a bottle of wine, or whatever. If, however, it is just a thoughtful "no reason" kind of gift, because you know they like it.. then I think it's fine on its own as a stand alone item. Say they had been to your home and complimented the marinade you used, so the next time you saw them you provided them with a bottle and the recipe.

2 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I think you're right and totally reasonable and ok.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Detroit on

totally NOT tacky. especially if it can be used on different kinds of meat so they have some options as to how to use it.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Call and let them know you made a batch and you want to share it with them. Ask them if they want it in something freezable or do they want it with some meat already marinated to they just need to pop it in something and cook it.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Considering the circumstances, I don't think it's tacky. That said, I'd bring the jar of marinade along with enough meet for one meal, still in the package. That way, they can use it right away or freeze it for the future.

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I wouldn't do it that way. I would give them one meal of some steak marinating in this meat in a freezer bag all ready to go. With a salad bag and perhaps a fresh baked bread. I'd set it up ahead of time to bring it for dinner one night. And I would give them a pretty card with the recipe for the marinade written down. However, I like the gift basket idea below too. :)

1 mom found this helpful

E.J.

answers from Chicago on

I think it is a great idea.

1 mom found this helpful

T.D.

answers from Springfield on

i see it as fine. not tacky. but would include other things with the marinade. like gift certificates for a meat market or grocery store so they can get the meat as part of the gift (but on their time. not when the package says its going to expire.)
you could do a whole gift basket thing with nice wine, the marinade, the gift certificate and anything else that would assist the prep of a candle lit dinner for two. (a home made voucher for you to watch the baby and any other kids while they make and enjoy a homecooked dinner just the two of them would be another bonus add on for them too)

1 mom found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

It might be tacky if you were giving it to a family who was poor and might not be able to afford meat, but I am assuming this is not the case with your friend. In this case it is no different than giving any other condiment. If you give homemade jam you don't have to give the bread to put it on.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.T.

answers from Rochester on

I think it is fine. You could throw in a gift card for the meat.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Boston on

Sounds fine to me BC you are close to them.

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I guess if it was for a bday or anniversary gift I could see your husband's point, but if it's a drop off because of a new baby then no, marinade by itself is fine, especially since you said you already dropped off food. No big deal. Good luck.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions