My nephews are 9 and 6 (7 in October). My brother told me this weekend that he has walked in on both of them "masturbating" several times. I have two brothers and don't remember either of them doing that at such a young age (we were a really open & comfortable family, lol). I don't remember them needing their "private time" until they were 10 and up. My brother is an alcoholic, a high-school dropout, and has never been responsible by any stretch of the imagination. He didn't see anything wrong with the behavior, but it set off alarms for me.
Anyway, I've worried for years about the amount of sexuality that my brother exposes his sons to. He has "swinger" parties at his house where couples make out with each other and dance provocatively, fondle and such, while the kids play. This past weekend he posted pictures on fb of him, his girlfriend and a friend wearing a strap-on and posing and doing sex acts (clothes on). The kids were actually IN the pictures, in the background. One time I had to literally body block his sons from seeing him at a party performing oral sex on a woman on a table. It was disgusting, and I for sure had words for him after that. But those are only the few things I've seen. Who knows what I haven't seen.
I should also mention that CPS has been called for the boys multiple times (four that I know of) by various people (once by myself), and they "investigate" and do nothing.
So... is this kind of behavior concerning? Do boys under normal circumstances (you know... without loser parents) explore themselves this young?
Funny (not really) that you said this question sounds troll-ish, because I thought that too when I posted it. Yes... CPS was told all of this (and much, MUCH more), things that have been going on since these boys were infants. They have done NOTHING.
My brother thinks his behavior is just all in good fun... that the kids don't see anything really harmful. I know that kids are more intuitive than that.
Laura & Cheryl... presumptuous much?? You have NO idea the lengths my family has gone to to protect those boys. The bottom line is that I can't remove them from their parents. That's called kidnapping. In case you didn't know, that's illegal. I would have done it long ago if it wasn't. As for my presence at the party (not that my explanation means anything since you're apparently hell-bent on snap judgments), it was an innocent birthday party for a friend, and who knew that my brother and a drunk woman would start acting weird all of a sudden. There wasn't much I could do to protect the kids other than occupy them and make sure they didn't see. I think it's pretty sad that when people try to do the right thing in situations like this, they are met with snap judgments from the likes of you. Shameful.
Did CPS do nothing because they didn't have evidence of it? I have a hard time believing that they could do nothing if they were given actual documentation of it. I'd get the FB pics and go to CPS right away with the photos.
I would download the pictures of him doing the sex acts that the children are in, then take them down to CPS and ask them why the children are still in that house. That is ridiculous.
N. this is sick. Get the pictures that are on FB and file another report with CPS. Boys normally don't masturbate until they are going through puberty, around age 11-12 and up. Younger boys don't have the urge (or maybe even the ability) to ejaculate that young. Sure they can get erections but they're kind of amusing and feel good and then they move on.
Being exposed to that kind of behavior is abusive even if no one is touching them. You keep speaking up and reporting and telling any and everyone until those boys are in a safe setting. Honestly at this point I would take the FB pics to the police.
I know you are not a parent of these children, but have you considered talking to the school? I don't know if that would boost the CPS case or not, but it sounds to me like natural curiosity might be being enhanced by them seeing these behaviors. Where is their mother in all this? I'd definitely worry about them abusing other children (like your own). I would copy the pictures from FB and send them to CPS (or maybe ask the cops what to do since CPS has not acted) and be a squeaky wheel. I know they are not acting on other information they have been given, but I wouldn't stop reporting it, you know? He's posting this on FB and the kids are right there in the picture.
Wow! I would be calling cps everyday! Poor children.
I am so disgusted by this. Those poor little boys. I have no idea when a normal age for masturbation is for boys but I have a 6 year old and haven't seen any signs of it yet. I believe they should be removed from your brother's care.
Well, I'd say the family business is alive and well in the next generation. Bleck.
Sorry N., I hope you keep your girls away from them.
And I wonder if maybe it's not true, if this is just your brother sick way of bragging? Like chips of the old block kinda thing?
(To be honest, I don't even KNOW when my boys started masturbating, and that's ok with me!)
:(
Um they say its normal and Im sure it is to a certain extent, but I am sure that these children have been exposed to influences that they should not have been. And as I read your post further, I see that what I thought was true.
Im honestly disgusted by what I see, and Id keep calling cps until they do something, if they can. Otherwise, Id get custody of the boys and get them out of this inappropriate environment. Get your family to help and support you if you can. This makes me sad!
I believe as far as the boys exploring their bodies and masturbating it is on a normal range.
HOWEVER, they do not live in a "normal" environment. They should never be witness to these swinging parties and most certainly never be in a FB pic.
I think if you manage to get the FB posting with their pic, then you may be able to get CPS to move forward. I don't know what is holding CPS back if they know what you told us other than they don't have concrete evidence. The FB pic clearly shows that these boys should not be involved or exposed to this behavior.
Bless you for trying to help them.
Wow! First off, I can't believe CPS doesn't do anything.
My son is 8 and just discovered that if he touches himself, it gets bigger. I'm pretty positive he's not masturbating because he thought it was hilarious. Maybe his boys were just "playing around". Sorry, not sure how to word it since we are talking about little boys.
i believe in many cases children "touch" themselves without really knowing what they are doing.... from the crib on up. That your brother "claims" to have walked in on them would not overly alarm me....... frequency would alarm me.
The masturbation part alone probably wouldn't worry me unless it is excessive, but with all that other information you mentioned........ This last FB photo is over the top. I'd consider calling CPS on him again, but then what? Are you willing to take the kids? It's hard to know where they would end up, and what kind of a home that would be. You need to weigh those big questions.
Another tact is to get very involved in the kids lives with hopes that seeing healthy role models they can talk to will help. Keep them out of the house as much as possible.
No, it is not normal. I was 13 when I discovered masturbation. Unfortunate situation overall.
