My 4 yr old daughter appears to have a very "dark side" when she's playing. If she's playing with her dollhouse, the baby is always crying, if she's playing with her imaginary friends - all they do is fight, she's currently playing with her stuffed animals and one was just run over by a car and just got out of the "hostible" (hospital). I have no idea if this is normal play and jsut her way of working threw new emotions or stuff she sees on tv (she does watch spongbob - which while I have an extreme issues with, no one else who takes care of her seems to, so I've simply chosen to pick my battles). She doesn't always play in such a "negative" way, just sometimes. I'm just wondering if this is normal or something I should be concerned about.
thank you EVEYRONE who responded to my question. I was really nervous about what this meant, and I feel so much better now knowing that 1) she's not showing initial signs of being a serial killer and 2) other mothers have experienced it to. it's a GREAT relief.
I can't emphasize this enough: LET HER!!! This is classic play therapy and a healthy way of expressing "dark" emotions. She can do problem solving, emotional regulation, and probably acting out situations she may have questions about. Wonderful! Children's language/expression is play. Think of it this way -- how else would you want her to express these dark and very normal complex emotions?
Jen
When my daughter was a toddler, she had an imaginary friend. 'Julia' was ALWAYS getting in trouble, mostly not listening, hitting her friends, being rude to her OWN parents, etc. When my daughter started preschool, I noticed she didn't play with 'Julia' anymore. When I asked why, my daughter said, 'Julia ran out in the street and got hit by a car, even though I told her NOT to!' My daughter, now 13, is a fantastic kid, zero behavioral problems, excellent student, a good friend to her friends, and a general all around pleasure to know, and needless to say, with one HELL of an imagination! Can't say the same for 'Julia'! Hahahaha
It's fine. I was a "dark" child too, and I turned out "normal". I killed my barbie dolls, but I don't have any thoughts of killing anything not made of plastic.
I don't know if it has anything to do with my weird way of playing when I was a kid, but I'm a really creative person now. I am a writer, photographer, and amateur dancer.
Maybe it's just your daughters way of being creative :)
Yep, normal. My daughter is 6 and still when she plays school or house she is the "boss" (teacher, mom, etc) and the kids are always doing something wrong and getting in trouble. It used to bother me when I'd hear her play house and be always punishing the kids because I thought that was how she viewed me. Then when I saw her play school and her teacher was always disciplining the kids too I didn't feel so bad since she has the sweetest most patient and even-tempered kindergarten teacher I've ever seen!
Good luck,
K.
I see nothing wrong with her "dark side". If she was talking about blood, knives, guns, or other things that an adult would see watching a rated R movie (or even PG-13), then I would be worried. Fighting (like arguing), babies crying, and going to the hospital is not a big deal.
Just remember that not everything is princess, unicorns and rainbows, LOL!
Good luck :)
Here are 2 good links for you... that will explain the reason for this, in your child:
http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=679
http://www.nncc.org/Curriculum/power.html
Your child is normal.... it is not a "dark side" of her. She is a 4 year old. My Daughter did that too... when she was younger at about 3-4 years old. My son w ho is 3.5, does that sometimes too, with his play figures.
It is ALL developmental based.... and per their age.
Do not 'label' her or make her think something is 'wrong' with her... nor displace any worried or displeasure feelings onto her. She is fine.
A kid could grow up in a cave or watching Leave it To Beaver... and still have this part of development in them... and they will 'pretend play' this way.
I play pretend with my kids too... and even in these scenarios... letting them take the lead and use their imaginations. I don't scold/lecture them about it. Its a developmental learning process.
All the best,
Susan
Oh yeah... totally normal. 90% of the time while the "world is on fire" the child is the hero of the game. Saving the world that's on fire. The other 10% usually tends to be role playing/ role reversal.
It seems like she may be one of the people that constantly runs through crisis scenarios in their heads to rehearse their response. This is normal and some believe it's a sign of genius! :)
My daughters and daycare children have always played this way at times. I tell them that they need to find happy things to pretend. They will switch when I'm around and then I'll realize I'm hearing it again some other day. It must be normal because these are all very nice children.
