I was expecting as my son got older to eventually hear I HATE YOU..... but he shocked me tonight when he was upset and said I hate myself. he is 6.
He was upset becuase he was told he could not have an ice cream sandwhich because he tried to throw away his dinner and lie to us that he ate it ( yes we eat together but I had gone to get the baby who woke up and my husband had gone to bathroom)
Anyway... he was fine within a few minutes. We told him we love him... and he said he didnt really hate himself
so I am overreacting to be shocked and sad...
so the blackmail and drama attempts and guilt trips have now started. you will be ok. I think everyone is in shock the first time. the guilt trip worked or you wouln't be posting this. remeber it is just a guilt trip. He in no way shape or form means it and he will outgrow this I promise.
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My son has berated himself for doing something he shouldn't, also. Is your son a sensitive child? A perfectionist? Mine is. He gets all of this from me. I, too, remember saying things like that to my mom because I was so upset with myself for making a bad decision. Just be patient and help him find some other words to express his disappointment-"I feel disppointed in myself" or "I'm mad at myself," etc. Let him know that saying, "I hate myself" is just too upsetting for you to hear because you love him so much.
He feels bad for lying. Let it be. Maybe in the future he will remember how he felt and think before he acts. Its ok mama :)
poor baby. i don't know, i have heard my son say some things along the same lines, like "no one will like me," and "no i'm not okay just the way i am," but i think he was just being argumentive because i was trying to give him a pep talk. i guess just try not to make too big of a deal of it...don't give him a lot of attention over it, but, like you did, tell him you love him. maybe have a conversation later about how unhappy it makes you to hear him say that. beause YOU think he's a pretty awesome kid...and point out some of his good qualities to him...
To me, hate is such a strong word. When I was growing up I wasn't allowed to use the word. I enforce the same rule in my home. We don't hate anything; the cat, the dog, what's on TV, each other, you name it.
But to answer your question I think he was using that as a way to manipulate the situation. If one of my kids did this they would get in trouble for saying they hate themselves, and they would get in trouble again for lying. So my answer would be yes. I think you are over-reacting a bit. I hope you didn't give in and give him the ice cream sandwich anyway.
My daughter is 41/2 and just started saying this as well. Also she says you hate me and think I'm stupid don't you. That is hard to hear!! We do not say things like that in this house so I'm not sure where she is picking it up. She is pretty dramatic so she surprises me quite a bit!!
Do you mean that ONLY you and your six year old eat together? Has he heard you, your husband or another family member or friend say "I hate myself"?
Stop overreacting...your the grown up ... he's the kid....tell him point blank, he didn't get dessert becasue he didn't eat his dinner and then tried to lie...If he lies, he will be punished,but he will still be loved no matter what.
Blessings.
