I feel as if I’m about to lose my mind and I’m writing in desperation for some advice or answers. Our son is 18 months old and is getting over a spell of vomiting and diarrhea. He started off with vomiting on Monday which lasted a day. Tuesday he was tired and Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday he continually got better each day. Then starting on Saturday he has had diarrhea and it lasted through Sunday and part of Monday. During this time his appetite has been normal but we've been watching what we've been feeding him. We've replaced milk with either Pedialyte or white grape juice and have been following the BRAT diet (banana's, rice, apple sauce, and toast or bread.) We've also fed him jello too. Also before that he had two molars coming in. But the main reason I’m asking for help is because he’s driving us crazy!!! He has an ear piercing scream and throws tantrums. After we pick him up from daycare all he wants is for me or dad to hold him. If we are not holding him he is screaming. We both work full time and the few hours we have with him in the morning and evening are torture. It’s impossible to cook dinner or get ready in the mornings! At first we thought it was because he was hungry or tired, and now we are thinking it’s just because he needs our undivided attention and some cuddle time? He doesn’t throw tantrums or scream at daycare – He saves this for us (sigh). We are running out of ideas and running out of patience. He doesn’t seem to be in any sort of pain – no fever, and definitely hasn’t lost his appetite, but one thing we've both noticed is that he seems to be more clumsy than usual, but that is partly because he is trying to throw a tantrum as he is walking. Is our child mentally imbalanced??? I’m also starting to wonder if organic whole milk might be the culprit??? He has been off of milk this week for the most part and on Pedialyte, but as soon as we gave him milk last night the diarrhea came back??? Is this a diet issue, frustration issue, teething issue or stage issue??? Do we ignore his fits and walk away or do we stop what we are doing and hold and reassure him? The only thing that seems to stop his tantrums currently is cuddling and or plopping him in front of the TV with a DVD (Baby Einstein or the Wiggles). We are running out of ideas and are trying to figure out HOW to juggle our daily chores (cooking/cleaning) and make time for our son and very patient daughter who is seven.
First of all, thank you, thank you, and thank you! I’m amazed of all the great advice and feel blessed to have “friends” who can help without the mommy lecture of a sister/mother! I just wanted to let you all know that our son was taken to the doctor today and was diagnosed with rotavirus and an ear infection, which explains it all – diarrhea, imbalance, and clinginess. The doctor prescribed some antibiotics and suggested lactose free milk for two weeks. After reading everyone’s replies I have realized that we do need to take more time away from house chores and just set aside time for our son for a while first. We always feel as if it’s a race when we get home: dinner, start on homework, showers/baths and then before we know it, its bedtime and then we still need to cleanup once the kids are in bed. It can be a very tiring ritual. And for a neat freak like me can drive someone nuts! But now I am going to try and ignore the laundry piles and stack of mail in the corner and focus on what’s important. Thank you all for your time and great advice. And let’s all take this advice:
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow...
For babies grow up,
we've learned to
our sorrow...
So quiet down cobwebs...
dust go to sleep...
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep!!
Please please please take him to the doctor! It sounds like a plea for help more than a plea for attention!
Was he like this at all before he got sick? If not then my guess is that he may not be feeling 100% yet , are you sure he hasn't had rotovirus , the way you described the symptoms sounds like that illness , 2 of my 3 kids had it last January and it was awful and they were not back to themselves for 2 weeks. Also 18 months is a common age for seperation anxiety to kick , this will pass so hang in there. For the balance issues , if that does not get better soon then go to the Dr to have his ears checked , it may be he has an ear infection or fluid in the ear from when he was sick.
Y. S.,
I sympathize with you. I have 4 kids of my own 3 boys, 1 girl. The oldest is 11 and the youngest is 2 1/2. I have worked off and on outside of the home for little jobs but nothing permanent. Currently I am working 3 days a week at my 4 year old sons preschool during his preschool hours. I have had experience with some of the issues that you are having and have some suggestions. First when you come home from picking your son up from daycare take 30 min even if you need to start dinner to just sit and read or do a puzzle with your son. Make this just his time and nothing else. That way he knows that you missed him and want to be with him. After his time set up something that he likes to play with and tell him that it is time to play while you make dinner. Hopefully, it will only take a few days for him to adjust to this new routine. If you need help with him for the first few days have your daughter (if she is available) play with him to distract him. The important thing is that he feels like you missed him and took the time first to be with him. If this does not work. try holding him while you make dinner. If that is impossible (because I know it can be sometimes) then set him in a high chair in view of you and interact with him consistantly while you make dinner. It really doesn't matter if you are telling him the recipe or telling him the what you are putting in the pot next or how you are cutting the carrots, He just wants your attention. This will not be easy however it might curb the fits because he will feel like he is getting the attention he wants. And don't worry, this phase only lasts for a while if you handle it right. I don't claim to be an expert. I just know what has worked for me. All of my 3 boys went through this and by 2 they were all pretty independant. Sometimes too much I thought. I longed for the days when they would want me to cuddle them. The thing that I think about when they want me to cuddle them is a poem that has helped me remember what is really important. Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,
For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I am rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
I am not saying forget the house work but maybe some of it can wait till the weekend while you spend those precious few hours you have a day with your little one who is growing up so fast. If you give him this attention now you will have so much less problems with attention stuff later. I know this from experience. I have seen both ends of the spectrum in my kids and close friends of my kids that they have grown up with. I babysit on a regular basis and have for the last 10 years. I have seen first hand some of the neighbor kids that I have tended not grow out of these issues because they were not caught and solved at an early age.
About the diarrhea issue... I have also had experience with this in my 4 year old. He is lactose intolerant and can not digest sugar. It took us until he was about 3 to figure out the sugar thing. The diarrhea started at about a year when he started on milk. We figured out that he was lactose intolerant in a few months. Lactose is a sugar by the way. So I bought lactose free whole milk. which is about twice or more expensive then regular milk but worth it if you child feeling better. The diarrhea went away but his stool was still very loose, all the time. We thought that this must just be how his body worked and did not think that there was anything we could do about it. Then when he was almost 3 he started getting headaches and tummy aches on a daily consistant basis. We don't know if they were happening before and he just couldn't tell us about it or if they had just started happening. After talking to many people about this trying to get ideas about why this may be happening we decided that it must be something he was eating. We noticed that his headaches and tummy aches were almost anytime that he ate anything with sugar in it. So we took sugar out of his diet. This is a very hard thing to do because sugar is in everything. I substitute honey for sugar in most of my recipes. This also helps with hay fever allergies if you use local Raw honey. I also found that Raw milk (I get it from a local organic food grocery store) helps because it actually gives him some of the enzymes naturally that he needs to digest stuff. The enzymes are normally lost in proccessing. I buy treats made with spenda but do not give him a lot of them and have him eat a lot more fruit. He has adjusted really well. It is a really hard diet for a kid an so we have our issues but he rarely gets the headaches and tummy aches anymore. I don't know if this will help you but that is what I know.
M. C.
Hi,
I think because he was sick for so long, and now has diarrhea, that his little body and emotions are still tired and recovering from the illness, and he needs the emotional comforting from you and Dad. I am sorry that you can't get anything done at home right now, but that is what parenting is about, sometimes. It is more important to take care of your kid for a while than cook and clean. The daycare people are not his comfort people - they don't love him and he doesn't love them like he loves you, even if they all like each other. I know you are tired and need rest, too, but if you can try and relax and let your housework go for a while, and try and enjoy your baby, then this will pass and things will go back to normal. The best advice I ever got from older moms with grown kids was to enjoy this time, enjoy the sleeplessness and demandingness of little kids, because when they get older, you will really, really miss this time and older kids aren't as cute and cuddly. Is there any way you guys can cut your expenses and you be a stay at home mom so that when you are older, you don't regret all the time you missed with him as a baby?
Marci
Hey girl! I feel your frustration! Just last week my 21 month old son had pretty much the same thing....throwing up and diarrhea etc. We obviously had the stomach bug. He's been VERY clingy since then and during. I think it's a combo of not feeling very good (and now I think he feels better but maybe not 100% yet) and also we are entering the terrible twos. I would say if he's crying and throwing a fit to not give in. My son did that this morning and wanted me to pick him up. I calmly told him when he stopped fussing I would pick him up...it lasted 20 minutes or more but I stood my ground and didn't pick him up until he stopped fussing. He might be getting his molars in and I'm sure that doesn't feel good. If he stops fussing when you pick him up then I think you should be able to stop it before you pick him up--KWIM? Just stay strong and show him you are boss and that Mommy and Daddy will hold him and be with him but he can't be fussy and throwing fits.
Good luck and I'm sure it will pass!
It sounds like he is still recovering from his illness. In general, anything with sugar in it is a bad idea during a stomach bug, so I'd avoid the milk, grape juice, and jello if it has sugar.
It is a simple matter for your pediatrician to test whether your son has lactose intolerance or a dairy allergy and you should probably rule it out since his diarrhea returned when he started back on the milk.
I'd recommend lots of love, hugs, and attention. When I'm sick, I know I'd rather be held and soothed than walked away from when I'm crying. Kids are no different. I agree with Denise. Trade off with your husband, and take a little time for yourselves too. It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate.
Kids get clingy when they don't feel well. Split the duties and lavish on some extra cuddling and attention. Divide and conquer! Dad holds him while you cook, take turns getting dressed, etc. Slowly get him back to his usual diet.
Organic whole milk doesn't make my son get diarrhea, but your son is just getting over a bug. I hope he's back to his old self soon and feeling better!
Sorry, Y.. What a tough time you're going through. I would be inclined to try ruling everything out... temporarily stop dairy; offer tylenol (or alternative) for teething; hold your little one more often, even though you'll get less done. From a parenting perspective, the "terrible twos" start at 18 months. Babies also become more clingy as they are about to become more independent, and holding /loving your baby through that phase will bring the security needed to become more independent sooner. Do you have an adjustable baby sling? Your little one could ride on your hip or back (or daddy's) so you can still "do life" and hold the baby. Just some thoughts. Hang in there! This is a hard part of mothering.
A.
www.breastandbottlefeeding.com
I would definitely try wearing your baby like Amy suggested, because he can still be with you all the time, but your hands will be free. Also, milk is one the most common allergies and can cause a host of problems. I would eliminate it all together, honestly. Despite popular opinion, humans don't need to drink cows milk. Check out mercola.com for articles on the problems milk causes.
Good luck, mama! Love on him more. You'll both get through.
How are his ears? When my kids used to do the screaming cry and demanding need to cuddle, it was an ear infection. That would explain the clumsiness as well if the eustuchian tubes were involved. And if the milk causes the diarrhea, he might be lactose intolerant.
Your poor baby wants his mama! He doesn't have words to tell you this, so he screams and cries. He doesn't see you all day so of course he wants your undivided attention when he does see you. My advice is to do anything and everything you can to be at home with your baby rather than have him in daycare. It can be done, but often it takes some sacrifice, creativity, and a lot of determination. You are irreplaceable to him, but easily replaceable at your job. Please, consider it. My guess is that you would see an immediate improvement in your little one's behavior. Our children are little for such a short time. As parents, it is our first responsibility to give them what they need most - ourselves. :)
