Alrighty... My adorable, sweet, perfectly well behaved (har har) 15 month old has decided that when she is done eating, she just stops swallowing her food. She DOES know the sign for 'all done' and has been using it for the last several months, so it's not a communication issue... At first, I thought that maybe it was just her mouth hurting from teething (she has cut 9 teeth in the last 4 weeks...poor baby) so I allowed her to spit the food out into a napkin. When I realized that it wasn't due to pain I stopped allowing her to spit the food out and tried getting her to swallow it instead... and it has turned into a MAJOR battle any more! I'm not going to try and force her to swallow (I don't think that's really something you CAN force! lol.), but I don't want her to get into the habit of keeping food in her mouth all the time. I can 'bribe' her to swallow by giving her something she really likes, and it just gets swallowed along with the treat, but I feel like that's rewarding an undesirable action. I'm not sure if I should keep pushing it, bribe her, or just let her spit it out and hope it's a stage... What do you mommas think?
I agree with the rest of the Momma's...don't make a big deal out of it.
Honestly...can you say that you have NEVER gotten a bite of something that you just COULDN"T swallow ( a piece of gristly meat...) and discreetly spit it into a napkin or kleenex?? Don't make it have more signifigance than it already does...ignore it...it will pass.
My youngest would keep food in her mouth for quite some time. I did not make a big deal out of it and eventually she stopped doing it. She would only have a few pieces of food stored in her cheeks, and we watched to make sure she did not choke. That was my biggest concern!
I agree with Cheryl O - don't make it a big deal or else it'll happen more. It's a phase. If my kids have something in their mouth that they don't want in their mouth, they can spit it out. 15 months is very young. I think the only thing I would do is if your baby does that, I'd take away the rest of the food since it's obvious she's done (and you probably already do that!). But I definitely wouldn't make it a battle at all. I'd let her do whatever she wants with it.
the more you make out it - the more she will do it...
ignore the behavior and it will stop..she is testing her boundaries...you can firmly say "we don't do that"...or you can ignore it - if she's not getting attention for it she will understand that it's not acceptable and press on to learning new tasks.
No. The battle is probably what's making her continue.
Your daughter can't really be bribed to swallow unless she wants to be. :-) But food shouldn't be a battle ground. It shouldn't be about rewards and punishments. Food is sustenance. In spite of our many cultural backgrounds, we are really meant to eat to live. Not live to eat. So if she takes a bite and it turns out that the bite before that should have been "the last bite" and she needs to spit out what she's got, or she's eating something that she thinks tastes bad, then let her spit it out in a napkin. But once she spits it out, don't give her more of that particular food during that meal.
My point is, if she's done she's done. Teaching her to ignore her body's signals that she's done and full is teaching her to overeat. Even though that means she already has food in her mouth, I wouldn't make her swallow it and it's nothing to look at as something to reward or punish over. She's only a year old.
many kids go thru a phase where they "hold" food in their mouths. If our son wouldn't swallow the food....& we recognized it was a habit to be able to spit out the food...just as you have noticed it.....then we used basic discipline - the timeout chair.
Watching a kid spit out food regularly is gross & not part of table manners. & as you said, using a bribe just doesn't seem right....so we flipped it into a discipline situation. If our son held the food & refused to cooperate, then he had to sit in timeout until he swallowed the food. I do not feel this is abusive, because it was clearly a choice on his part. Thru the years, I have learned that this occurs between 14/15 months (at the very youngest)....& usually doesn't happen after 24 months. My theory is that by then most kids know that their parents mean business!
& I want you to know that typically I use 1 minute for each year of age for the timing in the timout chair. With this situation, it never lasted past a few minutes. After each round, my son bounced up ....happy-dappy. We would talk about his actions & then off to play he'd go..... For me, it was just an indicator of strong-will, especially since he knew he could play if he cooperated. With our son, this phase didn't last long.....with other children, it varies. Good Luck!
My opinion is that, at 15 months, she is too young to understand/associate "getting rewarded for unacceptable behavior". She won't remember that she got a treat for poor behavior when she's a year older; instead she'll remember that only acceptable dinner behavior gets rewarded.
The lesson you want her to learn is: Big girls don't spit food out after they put it in their mouth. Anything more than that is too complex at her age.
My reaction would have been, "Eeeewwe! (make disapproving face) That's yucky. No treat for you." Don't make a big deal of it, don't let it turn into a power-struggle. Whether its swallowing food in her mouth or not throwing food on the floor, etc., if she finishes her meal in an acceptable manner then I would reward her with a treat. If she makes messes of her meal, then no treat.
Back when my children were little (most of them have children of their own now) their wonderful doctor told me, "You can't win food battles with your children! Don't get into battles that you can't win."
As long as your baby is healthy, I think you two are not having an eating issue. You're having a power issue. Swallowing is something your daughter, rather than you, has complete control of. She's not being naughty (per se). She's just being a tot, trying out something she has found she can do.
If she were really hungry, she'd be eating, new teeth or not. When she's not eating, she's not hungry, and the meal's over. Spitting out food (on purpose) is icky *and* not eating, so the meal is done. Don't lecture or wheedle or make any other big deal of it; just don't play the game. Keep your good humor but don't play.
This applies even if she doesn't get much food into her. You can always move up snack time if you find it necessary (but don't say anything to her about that).
When your girl realizes that the game isn't fun any more, she'll drop it (and look for something else to do - heh heh).
the firsgt time she does it take her plate away and get her down out of her chair. she will get the hint fast. hope this helps!
Well, with the refusing to swallow. I would have her sit in that chair until she swallows it & tell her she's not getting down until she does. And if she spits it back out. Let her sit there dirty for a good while until she doesn't like it (not like half the day or hours....long enough for her to get the point). She may be trying to get attention or she may really be all done. DON'T FORCE HER TO EAT. Put it away & read below.
Well, from all the books I've read, including Dr. James Dobson who I respect greatly, says that the forcing a kid to eat is a losing battle. He states that nothing can get between the locked lips of a toddler if they don't want it.
His & my suggestion that I find works is say. "OK, you are all done, we will bring this out when you are hungry again." (or something similar that your child understands) So, next time your child comes to want food or snack. No cookies, no sweets, nothing but what they wouldn't eat.
Heat it up of course & if she refuses, put it back & say "Nothing else until you eat this up first." Keep bringing it to her until she eats it. A child won't allow themselves to starve & when they are really hungry again, they will give in to eat it & it is a gentler way of teaching a child to eat what is given to her without all the forcing that ends up in a fight & you losing anyways.
Hope this helps!!
