Is There Anything I Could Do Differently?

Updated on April 18, 2011
M.K. asks from Chesterfield, MO
6 answers

Ok- I am am going to try and keep this brief by still giving all the info I can. My son is very articulate and is already hit the "why?" stage. He will be 2 in a couple weeks and he is a fairly 'normal' little guy who is loving and affectionate toward everyone and like I already said- has a very high vocab for a little guy his age. He enjoys watching movies and videos and we make sure that they are his age point. I try not to let the videos watch my child, but I am very pregnant right now and work full time so sometimes it is all I can do. I sit with him though and we just chill out. His absolute favorite right now is Happy Feet, Toy Story 3, and Thomas. We have known for a little while that he is 'scared' of the monkey in Toy Story, but he just wants us to watch it with him and doesn't like it when we fast forward through it.

In the last couple of weeks he has become awfully whiny and really good at pouting, but I think that it just his age. But he has an aunt who about 3 weeks ago was playing pretend with him outside and told him to come and help her because she was scared and needed him to find her. She also- on the same day- was joking around and was hugging me and told him that I was her mommy and it really pissed him off (to be quite honest). I wouldn't say for sure that this is the 'cause' but it is when I started noticing him using the word scared more often and becoming dramatically more clingy.

He has had night terrors for the last year or so and it is something that we are used to dealing with. They really only seem to happen once a week at best and many times every other week. They have recently gotten more dramatic but not any closer together.

Finally- he has had ear infections off and on for the last couple of months and we think he is getting his two year molars (drooling like crazy). He eats just fine at his daycare lady’s house and naps there (for the most part) just fine too. However, he eats almost nothing at our house for dinner and very little on the weekends, no matter what we offer him. We keep him hydrated and try and eat with him, but nothing.

SO- after all of that- my question is this- in the last couple of days especially we have dealt with low grade fevers, crazy night terrors, irrational fears of anyone holding him but me (this morning it was dad- he told me he was scary and then my husband made a joke and LO laughed and said that daddy wasn’t scary anymore- I asked him when daddy was scary and he said at night- in his dream maybe?). He will usually go to anyone in the family, but this weekend (as my pregnant tummy gets ever so much bigger and bigger) he only wants me. He randomly will tell you that he is scared of the Easter Bunny (saw him this weekend) or that he doesn’t feel good, but won’t tell me what doesn’t feel good which is unusual for him. He is using other people’s phrases you know? He has also been telling me that he is cold and ALWAYs wants his shoes on. So finally- the question is- WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY PREVIOUSLY NORMAL CHILD? Just the way things go with 2 year olds or something more? He doesn’t really get the whole baby sister thing yet so I really don’t think that is it…

Sorry this was incredibly long, but background is important sometimes.

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

Working M.,

I think alot is going on at the same time and it all seem to have a domino effect so that it appears something major is going on, but I really believe it is normal behavior for a 2yr old. The night terrors are normal, but because your sister played the game, it heightened the fears. As for eating only at the daycare, my son only eats at my moms too and is picky with what I prepare. He is whiny, tantrummy, because that is part of his development. You are pregnant and probably can't concentrate so much or able to deal with this stage.

I believe it is growing pains. Simply take him to the doctor for the fevers, etc, spend as much time hugging and consoling him to relieve his fears (stay in his room for a couple nights or have him stay in yours so he gets comfortable again. Take a day off from work to re-energize yourself and take it easy.

It will pass

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I agree - you might get him a checkup. Illnesses with fever can do crazy things to dreams and imaginations. It can't hurt to let the doctor take a look at him.

Two-year-olds do interesting things anyway. They're growing more aware of the world around them and trying to make sense of it. They do imitate what they see and hear. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Having shoes on all the time isn't too bad - and I bet he'll drop that soon and find something else.

When my older son was two, he was terrified of the witch (Margaret Rutherford) in the movie version of "The Wizard of Oz." He would grab me and we would hide behind the sofa until she was off screen. He liked the rest of the movie, though - so much that he named his teddy bear Dorothy ("Dorfy"). Now that he has three little girls of his own I keep threatening him to tell them about that. :^)

If you can, you might do more reading time and less TV time. Read books with your son instead and see if it helps the imagination go in a better direction. TV is powerful (that's why adults get addicted).

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Sounds like a normal (sick) toddler!

For the molar pain/ no eating... do try tylenol if you're not already. The dentist gives we adults narcotic pain killers when we have teeth coming in... trust me... it HURTS to cut teeth, and mouth pain dominos into over all suckiness of life (as someone who has cut teeth as an adult). Teeth replacing other teeth doesn't hurt, but cutting for the first time? Oy.

You can give tylenol even when there's no reason at all (love that, it's not a med that has ill effect if you take it when you don't need it), to it's my first "test" when toddlers start acting off. 9 times out of 10, 20 minutes later they're their normal charming selves. Yep. Okay, they were in pain. Time to figure out what hurt.

We actually FEEL cold when we have a fever, it's how our body increases our internal temp. Fever & chills is when our fever it spiking and turning off (kind of like an oven) trying to get us hotter and hotter, but not, you know, brain dead. We feel hot when our body is trying to LOWER our temp, and cold when it's trying to RAISE our temp. Tylenol will also nix this homeostatic reaction, because it will keep a fever off.

For the "why" phase... if you want to 'nip' it... answer. Fully and completely. Expect to spend 15-30 minutes on every 'why'... and the 'why' phase will
usually end in about a week to two weeks.

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

Everything Riley said plus

There Is No Why!

(least that's what I said when the whys kept coming long after the question had been answered!)

:)

Updated

Everything Riley said plus

There Is No Why!

(least that's what I said when the whys kept coming long after the question had been answered!)

:)

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

If asking him isnt getting any answers, try calling his doctor, get a check up for him.. having a fever and earaches can sometimes make sleeping uncomfortable and even sometimes night terrors.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

All of this is completely normal development.

But you also have some outstanding things in the mix so that makes it harder on YOU.

Kids eat when they are hungry. Just keep offering healthy options. This comes and goes.

Teething is painful, it can make his gums feel like little needles are poking through, but then from grinding and chewing his jaw can become really sore. Tylenol can hep with this soreness.

Allergies are terrible right now.. everything is blooming and he has tiny sinuses and his ear tubes are tiny, all of the drooling and teething does not help.

He is beginning to come out of that baby fog and see that there are things going on around him he cannot control. It frightens him. Imaginations can really run away for him and he can now recall dreams. You can talk about how dreams are like stories. My mom used to tell us, if we wake up from a bad dream, roll over to our other side ad the nightmare will not come back.. It works.

There are lots of changes going on in his home and he is not the total attention of the household (how did this happen?) so he is not used to not being served, observed and complimented every moment.

Mom is tired, cannot pick him up, maybe cannot play outside as much as son wants, so maybe dad needs to step up and take son outside EVERY TIME he gets the chance. May Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents?/ Maybe hire a moms helper to take him outside while you rest inside? Son needs to be able to run and play extremely active for long periods of time (1hour to 1 1/2 hours 2 times a day. .. this will continue from now on. Son has a lot of energy in that body and if he cannot get rid of it whining, crying and tantrums, will help get rid of that energy.

Just hang in there. Big life transitions are hard for grown ups, they can be down right scary for sone children.

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