Is there a nice way of wording I think you are an idiot so I will be coming by in the evening to pick up the kids clothes?
Okay maybe a bit of background. My ex never returns clothes but I have to put on the kids good clothes on Wednesday because they have the funeral of their paternal great grandfather. So I am trying to figure out a nice way to tell him those clothes will come back!!!
For those that think the kids should be responsible you have no idea what his apartment looks like. According to our older daughter there could be bodies in there and you wouldn't know. In other words if they could find the clothes they would come back. For the most part I have been going with they wear to his house what they wore to my house. This is just one of those times that won't work. :(
I loved some of the answers mind you, not sure which one I am going with. :)
Since he can't be responsible for what you send, shouldn't he have to provide the nicer clothes for the service of his dad??
I'd like to pop over and grab the kid's clothes this evening. Would it work best at 5:30pm or 6:30pm? Thanks!
OR
I feel ______ when ______. Are you willing to ___________?
I feel concerned when the children arrive at my house wearing clothes that have marks and stains on them. I want the kids to wear clothes that appear and smell clean. Are you willing to clean them in a way that works for both of us or would you prefer if I stopped by and took the clothes home to be laundered?
I want to give Luna 25 flowers for her 1st sentence.
I also might go with (because you've been open about your situation)....
Listen jackwad.... gimme the clothes back.
Oh, yea... and all the stuff Ephie said that's actually the right way to handle it.
How about "I think you are an idiot so I will be coming by in the evening to pick up the kids' clothes"? Why be nice if he never returns them anyway? :)
ETA: I didn't realize your kids are 10 and 12..they should be able to be responsible for their clothes and bring them back.
Your kids are 10 and 12? Make them responsible for their clothes getting back. My stepkids by this age were packing their bags for visitation completely by themselves (the only way to be sure they arrived with any clothing at all that fit) because we taught them how. We bought them travel bags with their names embroidered on them, so they seemed special.
How about, "I know you forget to return the kid's clothes, so i need to stop by and pick them up since they need them for Wednesday." And smile through it...
HIs name, I know you have a lot of things going on with funeral and family issues, so I don't want to add something to your list. I will pick up the kids clothes Wednesday night so I can properly launder them. They need to have them cleaned and pressed for __________ on ____________. Pictures, special event, special church service etc, etc. You can always take them to a photo place at Walmart or something or take pictures yourself. Ask your kids to put their clothes and shoes together when they change after the funeral.
Good luck
Your kids are old enough to remember to grab their good clothes. Tell them to bring them back. Heck, next time you send them there, give them a backpack and call them to remind them to pack the good clothes before they are due back.
Probably best to be direct, short and sweet and to the point.
"I will be at your places at X:00 on (insert day here) to pick up the clothes that the kids wore to the funeral. Throw any other stuff that needs to be returned in there as well, please. Sorry about your grandfather."
That should do it. Then arrive at the arranged time promptly.
Only let the kids wear old clothes to his house. That way they will come home is similar clothes. They should not take ANYTHING with them. He should be supplying everything they need at his home. Then what they wear is irrelevant.
You can tell him "I am coming by at Xpm to get the kids clothes. Please have X, and X, and X ready or let me come in and find them. If you cannot be home then just leave them on the front porch".
Tell them that you need to run them by the dry cleaners/ get them washed that night for family photos coming up so you want to pick them up right after.
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Oh... I just wanted to let you know, I'll take care of the drycleaning bill for the funeral clothes. Just bag them, and I'll pick them up on Weds Night, so you don't have to worry about them.
In the future, could he buy some clothes for them to keep there?
Just be polite and direct, you don't want your kids hearing you be nasty to their dad.
I have clothes at our house for my step daughter, she would come every weekend and it was just easier that way. My step son would bring his stuff back and forth, but my step daughter would forget her head if it wasn't attached. I still keep clothes here in our FL house for her.
I would just tell him you want the clothes back and to get things there organized. Maybe suggest that he get some clothes to keep there for the kids, including dress clothes.
Also, my hubbys house was a total disaster when we were dating. Toys, clothes and who knows what else everywhere. I think it may be a single guy thing.
Hey Tom! I'm sorry about your grand father. Just to let you know? The suits that Tommy and Andy have? They need to come home with them...no excuses...we have events coming up that they are needed for. If you can't keep them set aside, let me know now and you can go out and buy them nice clothes yourself, okay? thanks!!! Kisses!! :)
Tell Tom he needs to clean his place up. Have you considered reporting the place to CPS for cleanliness issues?
