Is My 3 1/4 Yr Old Ready for Preschool or Daycare? He Is a Stay at Home Only Kid

How long has he been there now? Is he still acting the same? I would only worry if his behavior didn't change over a longer period of time. Otherwise it just sounds like he's adapting to a new, completely foreign environment. He's never been in such a setting before so how would he know how to behave? And the pe-school should know that it takes some kids longer to adapt than others...particular if the child hasn't been around other children, or in a pre-school classroom setting. Give him time (and they should too!).

Well, I'm not sure that I'd like a preschool that wasn't very kind to my kid on the first day for any reason. But I think that he's showing signs of being ready. It's good that he'll learn how to sit at a table with other kids. He'll also learn how to make friends so he's not sitting alone. I would check with the teachers to see what they're doing in terms of integrating him into the classroom. Are they encouraging him to come play with the other children? If they are, and he'd prefer to be alone, that's perfectly normal. If they're basically just ignoring him, I'd switch preschools.

The one other thing that I would caution you about is seeing criticism where there might not be any. I obviously wasn't there, but did the teachers just mention that he wouldn't sit at the table, or were they really chastising you? Because it is fair for them to tell you that he wasn't sitting with the kids and to ask if he generally sits with family for dinner, etc. Not everyone does. Trying to get a read on what is "normal" for your family and your son doesn't have to be interpreted as criticism.

Good luck with the continued transition.

Look for another pre-school! They should be used to and willing to help kids come out of their shell and that's not going to happen in two days! At his age, kids do mostly independent play--although they might play alongside another child--they still do their own thing.

They are experienced but if a child is doing somthing different than the rest of the children then it's a distraction to the children who are sitting down nicely. Did they only have to tell him once, or did they have to tell him several times? I'm a daycare privider and my kids sit at their table for all meals if they get up, I give them a waring, if they get up again I take their plate because the children who are obeying will think it's ok to get up during meal time if they no consequence for the child who's not obeying. I think being in a corner the entire school day is a little much. It may take him some time to interact with other kids since he's only been with you, and that is OK. He may be a loner, but if he is he can grow out of it. Children do babble to themselves I have a 4 year old that talks as though there is 2 or 3 other people and is very creative in how she does it. I say preschool is better for him. At home make him sit and eat with you and your husband until everyones is done eating, that's just good manners, and it will help him stay seated at pre school.

It sounds like maybe you sent him to a daycare type preschool. If he has been at home with you and you aren't looking for "daycare" I would look for a preschool program that is a few days a week for a few hours(alot of preschools are m/w/f or t/th for 2 1/2 or 3 hours. At the preschool my kids attend/ed the three year old preschool is all about socializing and learning routine along with academic stuff.

If all the other kids have been there since infants it sounds like you sent him to a daycare? I would find an actual preschool , where the youngest they start are 2. It is normal for kids your sons age to do what he is doing , this is what preschool is for , to learn them how to be in a classroom enviroment and to learn classroom rules , such as sitting down for snacks etc. My daughter was at home with me from birth until just over age 3 when she started preschool 2 mornings/week. Some daycares can be a bit fussy because they are private and people are paying obscene amounts of money sometimes , so they only expect the absolute best , I am happy to say that many are not like this , and you were unlucky in getting a director that had no interest in working with you on this.

Talking to himself, even both sides of the conversation is VERY normal.

Are you sure they were repremanding you? Maybe they were just aprising you of the situation so you can work on it at home. That is something I have to work at with all new children in my daycare. It seems that so many families just let the kids get up and down from the table at home. I usually let people know it is something we are working on. But I don't usually talk to them the first few days about it. I give it time to work on it myself first.

Everyone rushes to shove their kids into school these days. (you know because my kid is in school - not daycare!!) Then some schools force these kids in strict conformity. Sounds like you got a bum school and your kid just hasn't have enough time to figure out the social working order.

Sounds like he's ready too and he sounds like he's a pretty good sport about everything!

Your son seems very normal. I would look at church-based preschools. The child usually attends for 2 1/2 to 3 hours per day. Most 3 year olds go 2 to 3 times a week.

What is nice is that the kids at such a preschool are all new to the system. They haven't been together for 3 years in a day care. Everyone is starting at the same place. Also, most preschools have the parents attend for the first 2 days or so.

In the meantime, sign your son up for a Mommy and Me program or a library group. This will introduce him to other children and allow him to figure out the group setting. You will also be able to observe his activity.

If your son can write the alphabet and if he knows the sound of each letter, then he knows everything that he needs to go to the 1st grade. I am a retired teacher who has substituted in kindergarten and 1st grade for 4 years. Everything that you mentioned, the writing of the alphabet and the alphabet letter sounds are the requirements for going to the 1st grade. When your son starts the 2nd grade, I would have him tested to see if he is a gifted child. He sounds like that he is a gifted child. Good luck.
P. S

I think he IS ready for preschool, but definitely a different one. Maybe start out with a few half days per week. We visited our park district's preschool before signing up, and we ended up loving it there. Visit a few a get a feeling for which one would be the best fit for your child.

My son was not the child that liked to sit down to eat. He was too busy but I never pushed the issue until we started talking about school. I looked into 7 different schools and I didn't love any of them. I refused to send my child to a school that I didn't love. Someone recomended Montessori school so I looked into it. I fell in love with it just walking in the door! He went there for pre-k and has learned so much. And he has no problem sitting down to eat lunch with his peers.

Hope this helps!

B. M.

I don't think there's anything wrong with your child as far as being normal. And, it sounds as though he's ready to begin preschool. He just needs to become accustomed to a different environment that is more structured than what you likely do at home. As far as keeping to himself, he's probably just going to take some time to warm up to the other kids.
As far as not sitting down to eat with the other kids, it might not have been so much a matter of reprimanding, and preschool is a place for children to learn structure, but maybe they were just letting you know it was something that needed to be worked on. Many parents kind of let their kids "graze" or get up and down at mealtimes and they keep things more structured at preschool to prevent all the kids up and roaming instead of eating.
I see in your update that you will be working on some of those things at home and I think that's a great idea. Begin a little structure there first.
Get up, get dressed, sit for breakfast, have some type of play or learning activity, then lunch, etc.
They do get the hang of it and surprisingly, often times, kids are better behaved at preschool because they get used to the structure, know what to expect and really like it.
If you can, have some play dates with kids his own age so he can get some more experience with interacting and I think he'll do fine next time you try the preschool setting.
All little kids have to adjust at some point so I wonder if they were just pointing something out to you as opposed to making you feel bad. It usually takes kids a couple of days, or even a few, to get settled into the new routine.

I wish you the best!

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