I have posted pretty recently about the troubles getting my daughter to sleep in her big girl bed. She is 27 months old and started climbing. She also managed to break out of two crib tents, so we converted her crib to a toddler bed. Our house is on the market, so we have put off buying her "official" bed until after we sell the house. I feel like we have tried everything under the sun with this kid (laying with her, sitting with our back to her (a honeymoon period of success), nanny method, music, no music, bedtime routine is mirrored at naptime (and the bedtime routine has been the same since birth!), being harsh and stern, coddling her). Bedtime is relatively smooth, but naps have been basically non existent. It has been very stressful for everyone - dealing with a cranky miserable toddler is hard for all of us. And lately she is waking up for 1 - 4 (yes FOUR) hours at night. She tosses and turns, gets up, mumbles and sings to herself...it's infuriating!!! We are not against CIO, but we can't have a screaming toddler roaming the house. Is it possible that the converted crib is the issue? That she needs a bigger change to make it "real". I dunno, exhaustion and frustration are making me grasp at straws. The transition with my son was not nearly this hard. What on earth are we doing wrong????
Her brother has bunk beds that are not attached. I moved the bottom one into her room and changed the bedding, so she would have some ownership. She went to sleep no problems and even told me I didn't need to stay, she would see me in the morning. I don't know how permanent this solution will be, but I will enjoy one night of an easy bedtime. The test will be to see if she stays in bed tonight and the REAL test will be nap time tomorrow. Wish me luck!
Can you try putting a mattress on the floor in your room?
Or can you close the door or gate the room so she can't roam the house?
I feel for you, my daughter doesn't sleep much either! and with the added stress of selling the house, I'm sure she's picking up on the frustration you are feeling.
Good luck to you, I hope you can sell fast and get her settled!
My friend's daughter was like this. They put a mattress on her floor and a baby gate in her doorway. When she could climb the gate they would shut her door and lock it from a lock they put on the wall on the outside. (They had a video monitor so they could watch her). They would tell her night night after the whole bedtime routine and then they would not give in! At first she would scream and carry on but soon she learned that bedtime was bedtime.
Can you just put a baby gate in her doorway? My oldest son was like that, I gated him in and let him be. It worked itself out when he got ZERO attention after that.
I wonder what your daughter's daytimes are like.
Is she getting plenty of physical activity during the day? (This usually helps kids relax better at night – toddlers have plenty of energy that needs to be expended.)
Is she exposed to plenty of full daylight, especially in the morning hours? (This helps set the day/night cycle in the brain, and allows the natural sleep hormone melatonin to be produced by the brain at night. Also, time spent outdoors in nature is known to have a calming, centering effect on children's nervous systems.)
Does she watch much television? (The passivity of TV, the fast editing, and even the business and intensity of the sound tend to disturb normal brain patterns, especially in young children who haven't yet developed mature brains. And the light is from the blue end of the spectrum, which can cut down melatonin production if the exposure happens within a couple of hours of bedtime.)
Is she exposed to environmental chemicals? (So much of what is found in modern household cleaning products, including scents, are actually highly toxic, and can have effects on the nervous system. If you do no other single thing to deal with this, at least stop using fabric softener on her clothing and bedding. That one change could make a difference.)
Does she eat much processed, commercially prepared food? (Several food additives, including artificial colors and a common preservative, have been shown in a large, well-controlled British study to cause more hyper behavior in children. It makes sense that sleep could be affected, too.)
Speaking as a person who has never been a good sleeper, your daughter may not be ABLE to sleep, and that isn't something she can control. What she CAN learn to control, eventually, is getting up, wandering around, and being noisy during the night. I'd give her options for the middle of the night: a small lamp and some books, a few cuddly "quiet" toys, music that she can play, etc.
That will leave you less infuriated, but it will probably leave her more lonely. So I'd work on this from as many other angles as possible. You might even ask your pediatrician whether taking melatonin at night would be advisable. Some kids with neurological issues benefit from it, but I don't know what age or doses are considered safe.
Transition is HARD! Sooo hard on you and sooo hard on her - so first and foremost don't give up. Getting our son to nap in her toddler bed was frustrating at first. It sounds like you have really awesome consistency so you've already conquered the first part of the battle. We found that using a baby gate (I don't like the door being closed) and pulling his toy box out his room worked the best. After a week he finally gave up the fight and slept (b.c of sheer boredom is my guess!). You might try a different time in the day - our son flipped back and forth between a morning nap and an afternoon nap. She could be a. too cranky to sleep cause she's worked up from not going down before her meltdown began or b. not tired cause she's going down before the tiredness sets in. It's not consistent but try a few days of different times. I don't think it's the bed though...our son is in his toddler bed and sleeps just fine now.
Another idea is to try a fan - sometimes white noise helps lull them to sleep. Also if it's too bright in the room that can cause issues as well. Wishing the best!
My daughter (2.5) only takes about 1 nap a week so I'm not sure this is a total solution for you, but I did want to offer some info up! I was struggling with the nap situation because she clearly still needs a nap, but wasn't taking one and noticed that her nights started to get worse and worse. We finally did just what you are talking about and purchased a real bed for her. The first night I didn't see a change, but since then she has slept through the night and longer than she was before. I still wish that she'd take her naps, but I fully think the bed is why she is sleeping better at night. She is a fitful sleeper and the crib converted wasn't big enough. I think she was bumping the rails and falling out too much to get good sleep. Good luck! We tried everything to put off making the bed purchase!
We put our toddler's mattress on the floor, it helped for him. Not sure if it's the bed or not though.
Good luck!
maybe something in here about sleep issues can help you:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
