Is It Ok for a 2 Year Old Not to Know Their Abc's or Count?

Updated on March 07, 2013
E.G. asks from Livingston, NJ
36 answers

I hoping it is!!! I have some Facebook braggers that are worrying me.

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G.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Yes, it is okay. Remember, facebook is not real life. The braggers are able to present themselves and their supposedly genius progeny however they wish.

I like the way my daughter's kindergarten teacher put things once when talking to her students about learning and ability. Some kids were learning to read, while others weren't there yet, and there had been some bragging and teasing that needed addressing. The teacher asked the kids if any of them remembered when they learned to use the potty. (Lots of giggling and snorting followed this question, but then they realized she was serious.) None did. She explained that some kids learn at younger than two, some at two, some at three, a few maybe even later before there are no accidents. The important thing isn't when you learned, she said. The important thing is that all of you learned how to do it. Then she told them that the same thing was true for any life skill, including reading. The important thing wasn't when you learned it or how fast you learned it - the important thing was that you did learn to do it. She explained that some people learn things quickly, some slowly, some early, some late, some with extra help. And the kids GOT it. They were much kinder to each other after that.

I think some adults need to hear that kindergarten teacher's potty speech. :-)

6 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Most 2 year olds don't know abc's or how to count. Some do, but even then it doesn't mean they are extra smart or anything, just that they are working on different skills than other children their age. My ten year old did, but my seven year old couldn't even talk. Every kid is different.

5 moms found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from New York on

Pu-leez. A child who is close to 3 and who is in school full time may "know" their abcs and counting but most do not and that is ok. At this age, flexibility, impulse control, creativity and compassion are the most important skills.

3 moms found this helpful

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

MOST 2 year olds cannot recite the alphabet or count yet.

7 moms found this helpful
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N.L.

answers from Tampa on

Yes, it's completely ok!

That being said, let the "braggers" be proud of their child's accomplishments, and be proud of your kid's accomplishments in turn!

I just happen to have very early learners, and I'm seriously amazed by the stuff they pick up. My 3.5 yr old is reading (just the easy words you can phonetically sound out) and my 18 month old is identifying letters. I didn't even know my alphabet until I was 5, so I'm blown away that they've picked up on all of this!

That being said, my 3.5yr old has some serious issues with hand-eye coordination and movement/balance, and I'm sure there are mommas who brag about how their child was riding a bike with no training wheels when they were 2 yrs old or how their kid is excelling in gymnastics/tumbling at the same age. I don't let it bother me. I'm happy for their kids accomplishments, and I would hope that my friends would share my excitement in my kids' milestones.

6 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Miami on

Of course. It's a great time to start exposing your child to letters and numbers, but most kids sing the alphabet song (leading parents to believe that they "know the alphabet") around age 2. In all reality, children don't discriminate between letters and numbers until they are taught to do so... preschool age.

No worries, but definitely start exposing your child to letters and number concepts!

6 moms found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from New York on

It's waaaaaaay OK. Let your baby be 2 and enjoy being 2. Some moms' self-images are too heavily invested in their kiddos. While some child may "know" his ABCs at age 2 he may also grow up to be nuts cuz his mom was crazy. Do not sweat this one.

As I remind my teenagers, people only post to facebook the part of their life they want people to see - they don't post the 98% that is boring, unpleasant or downright sad.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.O.

answers from New York on

Yes! In fact, it's a whole lot better for a 2-year-old NOT to know these things.

As a child grows, the brain grows and develops too. And different aged brains learn in different ways. At 2, a lot of the learning is sensory-motor and relational. They're still exploring the way things feel, smell, and taste, and they also learn a whole, whole lot from interacting with others. That's where the terrible 2s (and 3s) come from -- toddlers have this amazing revelation that their parents are different people from them, and that their parents can't always make them happy. And wow, does that piss them off.

Now, the alphabet and numbers abstract cognitive skills. The 2-year-old brain can't compute the idea of quantities or the notion that letter=sound. However, if some lazy parent puts a toddler in front of "educational" videos all day long, that toddler is going to wind up memorizing whatever is repeated.

So, those Facebook superstars? They're memorizing meaningless (to them) facts instead of engaging in the learning that's developmentally appropriate. They're honestly in for a pretty rough start. Your own toddler is doing just fine.

5 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

Don't let other parents start a competition with learning or other milestones. ALL children learn at their own pace. My daughter had trouble with letters and the sounds when she started kindergarten. Now she is in first grade and reading at a 4th grade level.

Don't push your child he/she will pick up everything in their own time frame. And once they do it is full speed ahead.

4 moms found this helpful

E.B.

answers from Seattle on

So, I have found that the ''bragger's'' are more often then not, over exaggerating what their kids are able to actually do.

They take singing maybe two or three blocks of letter's in random order......and turn it into, ''My child is the alphabet master''.

It is an ego thing. They want people to think they have a baby genius on their hands.

My son was not even talking at two(he has a laundry list of behavioral and mental delay's that played a large factor in our journey so far).

My point is, if you maybe started introducing the abc's and counting to a two year old, you would start seeing he/she to pick up on them as you go.

Every now and again, there are two year olds that can maybe do the whole alphabet. Including numbers on top of it. This child will be one of those that learns pretty easily.

Let the braggers keep bragging. Always remember that it is more about their self images as parents, then it is about the super human brain of their two year old.

Sadly they probably sit at home hovering over the child in order not to miss a brilliant educational milestone, that they then need to turn into a Facebook status pulling for their child's entry into MIT at 3.......for stacking blocks defying gravity 8 blocks from the floor!

I think we all have our moments being ''that'' parent. There are those out there that build their child's youth based on the bragging system.

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

All children develop differently. My eldest knew abc's at that age but didn't know blue from yellow. Chances are your child is more developed in other areas that they aren't bragging about.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Of course it's okay! Even the ones that do, only know the words. They have no idea that they are counting or reciting the alphabet - it means nothing to them. When they get into preschool or kindergarten, it will be like new material and their parents will be "shocked" because they "thought" they knew them. Wrong - they new a song (abc song or counting song) but had no clue what they were "really" saying.

Let your baby be a baby and discover the world around him/her first before worrying about academics.

At this rate, we'll be sending them to "preschool" straight from the delivery room!

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K.A.

answers from Phoenix on

I would venture to guess that MOST 2 year olds don't know their ABC's, or how to count, or their colors or shapes. My biggest advice is to never compare your child to someone else's. Also, remember that some people tend to exaggerate when it comes to their kids and their accomplishments, to make them feel better about themselves. Take it with a grain of salt and maybe lay off of FB for a while.

I mean, personally, I don't see why you would even want your child to know all of that while they are still a toddler. They have all their life to learn, but not to be a child.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

don't judge your child by others. at 2 they are just starting to learn to count things. my sons learned by me cutting their toenails lol. and at that age abc,s are just the names of letters they have no idea what it means lol. that comes later. at that age you do the "bring me the red ball" or can you pick up 2 blocks" or lets play pick up now, 1 block, 2 blocks 3 blocks more, 4 blocks , 5 blocks 6 blocks and more...." just make learning fun and you will be fine. play with your little one and read books and he / she will be fine

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L.L.

answers from Rochester on

It's okay, but if you WANT to change that, because it's certainly easy for them to learn at this age, then do it! Sing the ABC's to your child, or buy a CD of children's songs and listen to it in the car. It may drive you crazy, but they love it. Count as you play...count the blocks as you stack them, count the carrots as you lay them on the plate, etc. Ask for things by color...let's put on your red shoes, your blue coat, etc.

Of course, it isn't necessary, and again...it's okay. But if you are concerned, perhaps part of that is because you WANT your child to know this things. You can teach your little one these things easily, I promise. And if you don't...doesn't matter. They will learn, and it has no bearing on how well they'll do in school three years from now! Regardless of when they learn the basics, they all know it by K and no one is ahead or behind anyone else in the that regard. ;)

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

yes!

Stop comparing - it will make you crazy!
:D

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S.K.

answers from Denver on

yes it is just fine, ignore those people who continuously post about their next Einstein. Enjoy your little one.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Too much early focus on academic skills can come at a cost to other social and motor skills in children under 5 or 6, and can actually be the beginning of burnout or boredom when they start school. And some are not ready for that "symbolic" development until even later, which is perfectly okay. That's what school is for.

I know it's hard, but try not to get caught up in this rush to education. There is so much to learn in the early years, most of it from playing, and all of it is critical to future development. Wobblers/toddlers who can parrot numbers usually have little understanding yet of their meaning beyond "2" or "3"; they're just learning sound patterns based on lots of repetition by parents or media. What letters mean is even more elusive.

Raising kids is NOT a competition; at best, it's nurturing them into full humanhood. Those parents may not actually be bragging so much as expressing amazement. Your child is perfectly amazing in his or her own way. Focus on that, give lots of love and support, and all will be fine. You'll probably find yourself bragging about your kids, too, for their wonderful and unique development. It's awfully hard not to, isn't it?

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F.B.

answers from New York on

It's OK. Each kid is different.

For what its worth, my son is barely talking. He's probably got about 25-50 words that he speaks at 2 years old.

He's just started singing along to the alphabet, but doesn't quite have it down. It sounds like "la la la la eee ehhh GEEE, la la la la ELL EMM NNN ooh PEEE."

On the other hand he recognizes letters and numbers and the sounds they make and points them out to me all the time everywhere.

good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

At two my youngest didn't hardly talk let where I could understand him let alone know his abc's and 123's. You have nothing to worry about right now. If your child is 5 and dosn't know them then you might have something to worry about. My oldest could read when he started Kindergarten. All kids are different.

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L.F.

answers from Dallas on

I teach preschool (older twos and young threes). We introduce them to numbers and letters, but I have no expectation that they will leave my class having them memorized. It is certainly too early to worry.

Do yourself a favor-- hide the braggers and only check your real friends on FB occasionally. We can all do without the daily minutia of FB.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Just skip facebook. Every kid is different. My son didn't know his numbers early, but he's not quite 6 and can count to 100 and read. It is different for every kid. Just expose your kiddo to the world and TALK when you do it - like "look at the 3 birds, see 1-2-3". "let's go get in the car, c-a-r." You don't have to be obsessive about it, but little exposures over time will help your child learn in a fun, natural way.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Don't live your life based on FB. Your child CAN learn. Bear in mind that there is a wide range of normal. My friend's 4 yr old son can do multiplication. My other friend's DD can read. My child does neither, but I am totally not worried. Just make counting and ABCs a part of your day and I bet your kid picks up on it eventually.

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T.M.

answers from Miami on

Every child is different and learns at their own pace. I don't like when people brag about their children because it makes other mothers worry. Don't worry. Ignore their comments.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I am sure it is! My daughter just turned 2 a couple of months ago and she doesn't know her ABC's for nothing. lol
She can count to 10. She sings songs. She dances. She is happy.
I say, if your child is happy and well adjusted there is nothing to worry about.

2 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

My 3 year old is kind of getting her ABCs. She muddles it up in the middle. She definitely did not know them at age 2. It seems like all her friends were about the same at age 2. So, I think your 2 year old is just fine!!! My daughter could count to 3 for a while (maybe since age 2.5?) and now at age 3 and a half she can count to 10. Her older brother (in 3rd grade now, and in GATE) was a tiny smarty. He knew his alphabet and how to count to 100 at a super early age. I can't remember now exactly how old he was, but it was shocking to some people.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

My son wasnt even speaking (much, we're talking maybe 6 words) at 2!

Then at 2.5 he had a language explosion, was reading fluently at 3, and was in chapter books by 4.

All kids develop differently.

- My son is in the "gifted" range (ADHD)... And didn't know numbers/letters/etc.
- As a kid, so was I, but while I moved onto college level stff in 6th grade... I didn't read at all until 1st grade (age6)... And not fluidly until 4th (9yo)
- My sister read in preschool, but then was on a normal track the rest if childhood.
- My cousin is a genius (profoundly gifted), he was reading dead languages (translated the Illiad from Greek to Eng) at 4... But was so asymmetrically developed he couldn't write his name until 1st grade, and could barely walk until age 5.

Gross motor
Fine motor
Cognitive
Emotional

4 main areas of development. Kids ALL hit them Differently.

Early readers may be clutzes, or may be emotionally behind. The super empathetic child may struggle with spatial reasoning. The gifted soccer player may be all star in vision, gross, fine motor, spatial reasoning... But take 2 hours to dress in the morning due to sensory issues, and be impossible to feed.

No kid does EVERY milestone at the same time. Hence the range. Reading ranges from 2yo-7yo as NORMAL.

So your friends are bragging about NORMAL.

Smile knowingly... And relax.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

It's okay that they don't know their numbers or letters. They bearly know who they are. So don't sweat the braggers. When your child is ready to learn you will know.

If you feel you must begin teaching, use letters or items that they play with daily and say the name. They will learn and they will tell you what they see.

Just enjoy your baby.

the other S.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes...your child is just fine.

Get off the Facebook bragfest and enjoy your little one and his/her milestones when they come.

Start singing abc's....count together...make it fun! Now if your child can't say them by kindergarten he/she might be a little behind..but will catch up.

Some kids have been doing educational flashcards and language immersion since being in utero. Geniuses are not grown by their parents constant barrage of information. It tends to be an inner desire and genetic component.

Kids that can easily adapt to change,can follow directions,make friends easily,are all around happy and are resilient tend to do better in school than those that are simply book smart.

So...make your goal to raise a happy,well rounded child and forget the race to do something first so it can be today's Facebook post!

Good luck and best wishes!! 2 is so stinkin' cute!!

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S.L.

answers from Rochester on

yeah. It's normal. But if you want to teach them, sing the alphabet song with them, get coloring books and other books with alphabets and numbers in them, even take things out and start counting (like, count toy cars, coryans, clenex that's been pulled out of tissue box, exc.) She/he will get familiar with the alphabet and numbers. don't stress over it or anything like that. It's ok.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

In child care we do start the little ones counting and saying their abc's but it's not reading, it's not knowing them...it's repeating something they heard and getting a big cheer for saying it. They have no comprehension for what it is, they don't sit and count toys or know how to draw an "A" or anything. They are regurgitating something they heard and got positive reinforcement for.

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V.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son turned 2 in late October. He is VERY VERY VERY active, but not so verbal.

He can repeat the whole alphabet with my help... Meaning, I say 'A' he says 'A' I say 'B' he says 'B' I say 'C' he says 'C' - All the way through to Z. Sometimes he will say 'A, B, C' all by himself. He surprised the heck out of me yesterday when I said 'A' and he came back with 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J' all by himself! I was so proud of him! :) He hasn't done it since.

He has counting to three down pretty good, but can repeat the numbers up to 10 with my help.

Try 'repeating' the alphabet with your kiddo and see if he/she catches on. If they don't, don't worry about it. It's still totally normal :)

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

It depends on how many months in addition to 2 that he is. A newly 2 year old, most likely won't know ABC's. My 2.25 year old can count to 5, but that's it. At 2.75, many will start being able to recite the ABC song and counting to 12, maybe 20. If they can't, still not a big deal (though they should be able to count to 5 by that age).

1 mom found this helpful
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L.H.

answers from Abilene on

E.,

Two is waaaaaaayyyy to early for learning the alphabet. I just wanted to share with you a brilliant statement from a young man in my Sunday School class. We were talking about the different ways we can serve in our church. We were talking about being careful not to think someone had more to offer because of where or how they were serving. Example: A missionary moves to a third world country to share about Chrisf with people who might not hear otherwise, I deliver meals on wheels and try to encourage people I see as much as possible. Does the missionary have a better/stronger faith because they risk so much more and do without comforts I have? This young man said "there is no peace in comparison." WOW! I have been pondering that comment for days now.

No matter when your child learns the alphabet, it will be the right time. Please have peace and don't compare. Your child is uniquely yours and will flourish with your love and in your home. Don't get caught up in meaningless competition. Your child is fearfully and wonderfully made!

Blessings!
L.

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S.H.

answers from Des Moines on

My last baby barely said any words by the age of 3.....now at 4.5 she does know her ABCs, can write her name and can count to 30.

Do NOT worry at all!

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D..

answers from Miami on

Pleae don't worry about FB'ers. Instead, talk to preschool educators if you are worried. What you want to know is what your children should learn by the time they are 3, then by the time they are 4, etc. Usually 2 year olds are learning how to talk, and this certainly comes before counting and saying ABC's. That said, one of my children was singing the ABC's at 27 months. My other was later. Different children are different.

Dawn

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