Is It Normal for 8 Yr Old to Not Respond to Peers?

I would have his vision and hearing tested, first.

Then, I wouldn't use the word rude. He may lack a certain understanding, or feel anxious.

Does he respond to anyone, like Grandma, or siblings or you? Does it take time for him to reply? Is his behavior at home completely different from his behavior at school?

I'd also have a meeting with the teacher. I'd ask for details, not complaints. I'd ask what she has tried with him (moving his desk, requesting evaluations, etc). I'd then take this feedback to his pediatrician and ask for advice.

I would say it's a matter of concern that he responds to no one and has no friends. If he were just ignoring you, I'd say that's common. But this is an across-the-board issue, and I see you had some concerns (limited to TV football) a few years ago.

What's interesting to me are 2 things:
1) You use the term "complain" regarding the teacher. Does that mean she has never ask for the school psychologist to evaluate him or observe him in the classroom? Schools screen for a variety of issues all the time, from hearing to social skills to response time to attention to detail.
2) You don't say anything about the pediatrician, whether you have discussed this during appointments or whether the doctor has asked questions. Does your son respond to the doctor's questions? Doesn't the pediatrician ask about social skills and whether your son has friends? That was always prominent on our pediatrician's list at every check-up.

I would stop telling the child he's being rude until you can get to the bottom of this. I'd put together a team of doctor, school staff (nurse, teacher, psychologist), and any therapist/specialty they recommend. There are standard measures for this sort of thing and I think you should advocate very strongly that everything be done and every professional communicate with and share data with the others. Great things can happen if there is good solid intervention with a younger child. The only mistake would be to ignore this any longer.

My DS does the same thing. He is diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder and has been in intensive therapy for years. He will not make eye contact, hates to be touched, he only responds to people he knows well. He plays parallel to other children, but not directly with them. His social development is just not there. He barely hugs me. He is not being rude by not addressing people. He can't. So my advice for you, would be talk to your pediatrician and have an evaluation done. If it is something more, the sooner you get help the better. My DS started at 15 months. He was non verbal until almost 5. He has words now, he is just selective about using them. Believe me, diagnosis is key. I wish you all the luck. Keep up updated!

Has he always been like this? Have you been waiting for him to mature and start? It's time to stop waiting and get him evaluated.

Talk to your pediatrician, without your son in the room. Ask for an evaluation. You can also talk to the guidance counselor about this.

You really need to get to the bottom of this. I would worry very much that your son is somewhere on the autism scale, whether it's PDD or Asberger's. Please don't let it scare you into inaction. For his future, you need to take charge now and get him help.

I'm confused, he's eight and has never interacted with another child? Sure it's normal for some kids to prefer to be alone and be less social but he won't look at or even speak to anyone? What did his previous teachers say? What does his doctor say?

My son has ADHD-inattentive type. Part of what you describe (lack of eye contact or being cued in) is pretty typical for him. His former teacher always described it as 'he needs a personal invitation' for every transition.

It sounds like you are going to have him eval'ed by a child psychologist, good for you.

Bear in mind, too, that if he is happy in his own little world--hold onto that. Then, find other things he could do with other kids centered around his interests. If there is an insect camp this summer? Consider sending him. Let him create a 'fungus tour' for the family if that's possible. (we have some very cool fungi on trees in our area). Give him ways to shine in his own right. My son connected with other kids primarily through Minecraft: talking about it at school on recess, etc. Before that, you'd be amazed (and probably relieved) some of the stuff he was into that no one else besides us parents found interesting. :) Very uniquely him and I think it makes him more of his own person, you know.

I have a socially awkward - appear disinterested - introverted boy.

He still have to bonk him in the foot to get him to say hello (and then it's like a low mutter) sometimes - and he's now in junior high.

He just doesn't *get* some social dynamics. So we've coached him, modeled it, but we've had to accept him the way he is.

I too had concerns. Talked to teacher. Then doctor. She met with him separately. She didn't feel there was enough signs there to indicate a condition or disorder. She'd known him for years and felt it was his personality and temperament.

My son had some anxiety concerns and I was a bit worried he wasn't handling social relationships very well in some cases, so we just met with a child psychologist - just to see if she could help.

We met with her for an hour. Then on another day she met with my son.

She didn't feel he had enough signs to fit a diagnosis. Asperger's is a spectrum disorder. So there's a wide range. So some people may have a few symptoms and life can be a little bit awkward for them - but they can get help with some tips and modeling.

So that's what we've done. For us though the biggest thing was finding him a social setting where he just naturally fit in better. For us that was scouting. He met buds that all just accepted him for who he is. They all have their own interests.

He's figured out how to fit in now and has true friends (matured), but he still is very introverted. Likes one on one time. He still makes up stories (like yours). Now he's writing them out into books. So he has an outlet.

Mine has gotten into sports in the last few years. That's been good for him. I wouldn't say it comes naturally to him, but he's so dedicated and learned his position so well, he's actually done well. It's a camaraderie he enjoys.

I read your SWH and I think you're taking the right steps. I think if you meet with the psychologist you'll feel a lot better :)

You should ask his doctor to check for auditory processing issues or high functioning autism. Sorry if that's really not what you wanted hear :-(

Does he say why? I have seen my son do this with another boy that he reeeaaally does not like but this boy is always trying to engage him. I tell him not to be rude and to say hello (or goodbye or whatever the case may be) and I remind him it's not polite to ignore someone like that. What I am trying to say is maybe your son strongly dislikes these kids? But the fact that he has no friends is really troubling. And not answering the teacher is also strange. Does he show signs of autism or aspergers? Is he extremely shy? Maybe he struggles with anxiety? Talk to the pediatrician. Talk to the teacher and school counselor. Get him tested by professionals. Perhaps start him in once a week therapy sessions with a child psychiatrist. And at home work with him on how to behave properly in social interactions. He may need lots of practice.

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Does he say why? I have seen my son do this with another boy that he reeeaaally does not like but this boy is always trying to engage him. I tell him not to be rude and to say hello (or goodbye or whatever the case may be) and I remind him it's not polite to ignore someone like that. What I am trying to say is maybe your son strongly dislikes these kids? But the fact that he has no friends is really troubling. And not answering the teacher is also strange. Does he show signs of autism or aspergers? Is he extremely shy? Maybe he struggles with anxiety? Talk to the pediatrician. Talk to the teacher and school counselor. Get him tested by professionals. Perhaps start him in once a week therapy sessions with a child psychiatrist. And at home work with him on how to behave properly in social interactions. He may need lots of practice.

I think it is one of the phases of growing up. There are some kids who take great pride in talking to others and then there are those who are shy until they are around ten years old.

We broke this in our daughter by making her buy her own things. So if she wanted something at the convenience store, she had to buy it herself. If she needed a restroom, she had to ask permission on her own. If she wanted to eat in a restaurant, she had to place an order. The ordering took a while to work because if she didn't feel like doing it, we would have to do it for her to keep things moving. Eventually she came around.