Is It Normal...... - Mesa,AZ

It's very normal. I've had three kids, and it was hard leaving each of them for the first time (and many more after that). Leave them with her grandparents and aunt. Some of it's for them, some of it's for you, but a lot of it will be for her. It's much easier to help her become comfortable with other people now than when she is older. Look at how she will act when she actually must leave you (school) and how it will be difficult unless she is used to it.

My 4 year old never wanted to go to anyone else when he was a baby. I didn't push it because I didn't want to upset him. Now we are getting ready for kindergarten, and while he's excited, I know it's going to be traumatic for him. So we are working really hard at getting him used to different people and situations before that day happens. I just wished we would have addressed this at a much younger age.

It's perfectly normal, especially since she's your first, but a word of advice? If you're moving out of the area and away from family (particularily if you're close to them), let them spend their time with your daughter. We moved here not having any family and not knowing anyone when my youngest was only six months. He didn't take well to anyone either and it made it very hard to leave knowing it would only get harder - for you and for them. Family is important and she's only going to be this small for a very short time. Good luck in your new adventures! Write if you need to talk. K.

Don't sweat it. My baby girl is 2.5 years old and while we use daycare and sitters to do stuff together.... we never considered leaving her overnight. Furthermore, the idea of hanging out past an event for some couple time is unthinkable if the kids at the sitters. So no.... your not weird.

Kurt

Hi J.. I can totally relate. After 3 years of trying to get pregnant-we finially did through invitrofertilization. Shortly after our son was born my husband was deployed with the military and will be gone the next year. I have a very hard time leaving our son even with my mother. I worry about so many things with him and just think about him when I do try to have a "grown-up outing" and never have any fun. Plus I feel no one can care for him like I can-especially since my mother had some dicipline issues when I was growing up and she will not follow the ways that we want things done with our son. I don't think you're being over protective this is your first baby. But I know I too need to be able to let my son get use to others and when I am ready I will. Just take it a day at a time and when you're ready you'll know and only let him be with others for as long as you are comfortable even if it's only an hour or so. I have my parents come over and watch him at my house with me here so he can still see me but is getting use to others caring fo him as well but I still can get things done or take a nap or 5 minutes to just relax. Take care good luck with the move. We moved here from Chicago!

I think it is normal. That is how I was anyway. I would need a break but even leaving my boys with my husband when they were babies gave me anxiety. He would forget to feed him, thinking- I just fed him a few hours ago. But I still would get out once in a while

As your baby gets older you will get more comfortable. Do keep letting others hold her. That will make her life and yours easier in the long run.

It could get annoying when a 3 year old wants NOBODY but mom. And if that is all she is used to that's probably how it would be.

Maybe try to leave for a short time. 1 hour maybe, or go out when she will be napping for most of the time.

Good luck- feel lucky so many people love her and want to be with her. That's great.

S.

I think it is totally normal, primal even, for a mother not to want to leave her little baby with anyone else, even if she KNOWS the other caretakers would never harm the baby. I think we, as mothers, feel an extremely strong sense of sole responsibility for the well being of our babies. My daughter is 14 months old and I STILL have a very hard time relinquishing my duties to even her FATHER, even if I just want to go to the store alone.
With that being said, I still think you should give it a try, even for just the shortest outing (lunch maybe? dessert?). Although I have always been extrememly apprehensive to leave Madalyn with anyone, I have also found it extremely refreshing to get out and have some adult time. My husband and I feel like to giddy teenagers skipping school when we get a chance to go out! I have also found that Madalyn cries a lot less for other people when I'm not around. But, even if your baby does cry while you are out, you can be reassured that two people that love her and want nothing more than to care for her are doing their best, and she will survive!
Of course, you know your situation best, and if you just can't do it, then that is ok too. Try again in another month or so.
Hope my ranting helped!
~K.

It's totaly normal. You are her Mommy. If you are comfortable with it then don't do it, but there is the after thought of...when will you be able to . She is only a baby for a very short time, use your best judgement, only you know what will be bast for your child. The others will just have to wait their turn.Best of luck.

Yes, it's normal. But you can work on it. I kinda was that way at first with my daughter. My husband talked me into leaving her with my parents while we went to a movie. I can't tell you what movie we saw because I was wondering how she was doing most of the time. When I got home, though, my parents said she did fine. At first she wondered where we were, but then they got her interested in something else and had a great time. If a movie seems like too long for you, try something shorter, like going out for a quick bite to eat or something. I say try to give them at least 1/2 an hour or so to give your daughter a chance to adjust. Hope this helps!

Steph :-)

If you are moving out of state, you may not have family to watch her for AWHILE, so take advantage of this time to have a date day/night with your husband! Also, think of giving your daughter the gift of having family - some kids aren't fortunate enough to live around family at all. She's at an age where seperation anxiety is normal for her - but there's also reassurance in knowing that she can gain some independence and work through this milestone. This is true for you too ;)

-Mom of four young kids

Good luck!

Every child is so different and it just her temperment. My daughter was exactly like this! Only myself or her father could hold her. As far as family most the time if they even looked at her she would scream!

I never wanted to leave her with sitters for fear they may even hurt her! When she was 1 was the first time we left her and she did fine. I worked so she was with a sitter just 1 time a week . Your feeling are very normal because I was totally like that with my youngest because of the way she is. As she gets older she will be alot more comfrotable with the family. My daughter is 2 and now loves all family!!! She is like a whole diff child and as a baby they couldn't even look at her! I was so exhauted seeing as no one could really hold her. Good luck

It IS normal, especially with your first, but you do want to try . . . and the earlier the better. The longer you wait, the HARDER it will be for both of you - not easier! Take baby steps - maybe you & your husband could take a 1/2 hr walk or get some coffee/lunch/dinner close by (and with a cell phone). Most stop crying very soon after you're out of sight. Sometimes I have to "hide" from my child, just cuz he wants me to pick him up & I can't get anything done - but he's fine if I'm not in view!! The more you get out, the easier it will be & the less anxious you'll feel. Plus, you & your husband deserve some date time! Good Luck!

J.,

I believe that it is normal to worry when leaving your child espcially when they are that young. But as parent we have to let them bond with others (especially family members)for themselves and for us. Just do it gradually. Before you know it she will be going to preschool and daycare. Then the struggle to leave her will be more difficult. Start with 30 minutes and as she adjusts increase the time. Sometimes the hesitation to leave our children with someone else can stem from being uncomfortable with the person or people even if they are family. You can watch as they interact and play with your child and if she starts crying suggest solutions to sooth but let them do it. This way she will become comfortable with your family members. I've been through the same things with both my boys. I just had to trust that the family member would treat them well and had the ability to handle the situation. Surprisingly, they only cried for a few minutes once my husband and I left. I hope this helps. Good luck!

it is normal to feel seperation anxiety with your children especially a first time mother. I thik though that you have more anxiety than your daughter does. sure your daughter will kickand screm for you as you are leaving but once you're gone even if she cries for 10 minutes she'll get over it. I think by babying this response you are doing her more harm than good. I used to drop my daughter off and thensneak out so she didn't see me leave. but that wasn't good how tramatic your mommy disappeared!!!!! There wi ll be times that youdo something she cant do. And what about school? you have to be able to trust others with her. maybe you need a litle more time but then you just have to rip the band aide off