Is It Me or Does No One Show Respect Anymore?

i was at the grocery store the other day and the cashier pauses in the middle of scanning my groceries to talk to the cashier behind her... it was a long 30 seconds to a min gossip chat they had about personal stuff. I was soooo mad, i wanted to tell her something so bad but i didn't. Instead I walked over to costumer service and told the manager what happened (as if that would have helped) but yeah, rude people are everywhere. and more now than ever

Not just you! I had a last straw moment last week when I saw the pharmacy staff playing cards while the people behind me waited in line. Only one person was working. My husband told the guy that it was bad customer service to be playing cards with customers waiting, and the guy said "I am not playing cards now" Really? We were stunned. There just seem ot be so many people who can't see past thier own noses unless there is something in it for them. There must be some kind of Jerry Springer effect.

M.

I do not concentrate on the rude self serving behaviors, instead I try to show the example of extra good behavior and helpfulness.

I try to encourage my other friends to do the same. In the grocery store parking lot, volunteer to help by taking someones basket back. When you unload your car, take your basket to the correct place or walk it back to the store, EVERTIME.

When you come to a doorway, YOU hold the door. Allow men, children teenagers, whoever to go in while you hold the door.In the check out, allow the person behind you with way less items to go ahead of you.

If someone is struggling to lift something, ask if you can be of assistance.

Give up your chair. If you see someone that looks lost, see if you can be of assistance. This does 2 things, it sets and example for others and it helps you to quit thinking about your self.

I also do secret helping where no one else has any idea who was responsible. I sometimes will pay for a meal for a young family. I secretly ask the waitress to charge it on my card. At school, sometimes, I would purchase extra tickets to events and give them to the Principle, counselors, or hall monitors, to hand out to the kids what are under appreciated. I pay for extra school tshirts so that kids that cannot afford them can be given them for their good behaviors, their volunteering.. whatever..

It all begins with us. If we are out there modeling good behaviors, I think it sets an example and a reminder to others, to also help.

I do agree if people are not doing their jobs, they need to be reminded, that you are waiting, or suggest maybe they should call their manager for assistance. I then let the manager know I am disappointed in the service and will not be returning or will give the store one more chance in the future..
The other side of this is that when you are given exceptionally good service, tell/thank the person, tell the manager or at least take a comment card and mail or drop it by at some point..

Hi L.! I read your question last night and spent some time mulling it over. I have encountered horribly rude people and wonderfully respectful well mannered people.
I think the percentage of well mannered people is actually higher than we think.......it just that a bad experience stays with us for much longer than a good experience.
But, let me tell you, the bad experiences are BAD!!!! When people are bad mannered or disrespectful, they go ALL OUT.

Have you seen the insurance commercial (can't remember the company name), where one person does something kind and another person is watching so *that* person does something kind for someone else, and then *another* person sees that kind act and does something kind for someone else? It goes on and on and shows a domino effect of kindness and respect. It's so true that one act of courtesy or respect can set off a chain reaction. When I think of all the people who responded to this post, it encourages me to think that we can be setting off a couple dozen chains of respectful behavior. People learn by example!

Another thing we can do is let people know that we expect them to be courteous. Some people have never been taught......work ethic is at an all time low. So, we let people know that we expect them to be efficient, aware of people around them, and have common courtesy and then they learn that they are not the center of the universe. ;)
Great question, by the way!

First off, I'm sorry that you've been treated this way. I know how frustrating it is.

Yes, I think people in general seem to have a lot less self respect AND common courtesy. And on top of that, I think that many people are not only TEACHING their children (or should I say NOT teaching their children) how to show basic respect - please, thank you, etc.

I think we all know, rude or uncourteous children turn into rude and uncourteous adults.

Fortunately I have also found that by treating others with respect and common courtesy and teaching my children to do the same, people surprisingly "step up" and do the same.

So do your best to "pay it forward". Hopefully, KARMA will see to it that you find more "decent" people in your life in the future. And as for those who do blow you off, not hold the door, etc. don't waste your time or energy on them, clearly they're not worth it.

Hi. I think it depends on your location and the age of the people, because people in certain parts of the country and usually older people show more courtesy. If you're like me, you try to set a good example by holding the door, speaking kindly, being polite and professional. Hopefully there are still enough of us to keep society from falling apart. ;-) Also, you never know what people are going through. If they're having a round day/week/life, they may show it by being rude. I slip up sometimes. I do agree, prospective customers and partners should definitely keep their appointments. Are you in sales? My MIL sells in the food industry and describes those exact scenarios often - driving many miles only to find nobody there. I can't imagine how frustrating that would be. My only suggestion is to call and reconfirm the day before or the morning of those appointments to let them know you're definitely coming. And stay professional - you never know.

I'm with you L.!! I've also decided to "pay it forward" (as some of your posters talked about) I'm not even talking about anything major, even just being friendly! The other day I was thinking about this exact thing and thought the world would simply be a better place if we were all nicer to each other. So I was at the deli at the grocery store and when the person behind the counter greeted me (in a reasonably nice way) I looked her in the eye and gave her a big smile and a sincere "How are you today?!" She responded by being extremely friendly too, and I walked away from the counter feeling so good. I almost had a skip in my step. Ha ha! Maybe that sounds dumb, but it felt nice to me - being nice and having someone be nice to me. So, be the person you want to be (a considerate one, I can tell) and hopefully others will get a clue. If they don't, just consider it their loss for having a miserably life.

PS - I did have a positive experience while getting on the metro last week with my sister-in-law and 4 children. We obviously looked a little frazzled getting on (barely made the train) and 2 gentlemen stood up and gave their seats to our kids. I was pleasantly shocked! (and grateful!)

I asked a similar question yesterday about manners and what people are trying to instill in their kids.

I was SO pleasantly surprised at how many people agreed with me that manners are essential. We're not a "yes, ma'am", "no sir" family either. But, I expect my kids to say please and thank you (which I reciprocate to them as well), we're teaching our son to hold doors for people, to let women go first - you know, general courtesies to other people.

It just makes me feel good to be nice to people, and I want my children to do it because it's the right thing to do when the only thing you can truly expect is a "thank you" in return.

Having worked on the "wrong" side of the counter at a hotel as a college graduate making $8.46/hour, I'm amazed how people treat one another. Most of our guests wouldn't acknowledge me as another person. I make it a point to always smile, ask politely and thank whomever is helping me anywhere I am (McDonald's, gas station, grocery store). Our kids know the name of the lady who monitors the U-Scan at Kroger, and they always tell "Miss Tina" to have a great week when we see her (of course, the stickers she gives them don't hurt).

In general, we just need to be more kind to one another and start treating each other like people again.

I was at the hardware store just today getting a copy made of a key. As I'm holding a purse, juggling keys and a phone one of the stray keys fell and hit the ground. A "lady" actually stepped over it and kept on going. Had it been me, I would have stooped over and retrieved it. Oh well.

As the others have mentioned, it's best to set the example and feel good when someone else notices. :)

I can definitely relate. I just posted something about this on my facebook account today. And yes, I do believe people are becoming more rude and disrespectful. It's sad. :(
R.

yes. but every generation believes this. manners change from generation to generation`so each one believes that theirs is the last one and society is sliding from *this* point on. if we could find a message board from our great-grandparents' time, we'd find this same conversation taking place.
however, the ME generations of the 80s and 90s really did take a toll, methinks.
khairete
S.

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You said it, people are more rude then ever. I also notice the please and thank you's are as many either.

It's different generations I found older folks around 70's still being way more polite then say 12 to 60. I have been so surprised at people in the 50's and 60's being rude. I'm in my 40's and if my parents were alive and I was rude I'd shame them so i feel out of respect from them raising me I do my best to be respectful to others and their property.

I've been in your shoes exactly and I feel your pain. Especially with the driving 50 miles--mine was 89--even after I'd called and confirmed with them not even 4 hrs prior to. There is absolutely no respect anywhere anymore and it's beyond irritating.

I think most people just lack common courtesy and no respect for other peoples time. It get me nuts. I had an ex BF who was always late everywhere, his reason was HE didn't want to have to wait for people. The entitlement that lots have as far as pushing ahead or getting whatever it is first is beyond me. What gets me psycho is waiting for a bus for an hour and people try to cut, either pretending they don't see the long line or say they don't speak english, on this particular rude behavior I make it very known to tell these people "STEP TO THE BACK OF THE LINE,BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT GETTING IN FRONT OF ME". Oh, I'm boiling now and I'm at home on the computer and not even at the bus stop. I think rudeness happens becasue no one holds these rude people accountable because the don't want to start anything.....

yeah, yesterday i had a beach cart loaded to the nines, entered the wrong way and had to deal with a flight of stairs. wow. too late to turn around, my kids are too excited to wait for me to come up with a strategy how to get my cart down the stairs. men and men and men all over the place, no one offered to help. i got that thing down. stayed as long as we did, turned around had to take the stairs again, so i managed somehow, got to the last step when a man says do you need help. that same man had been watching me for minutes. i turned around and said:
now you want to help?
so i say to all moms who have boys, raise them to be gentlemen.
one more thing, such a thing would have never happened in europe. european men are gentlemen. something went wrong here with american men.

Nope, it's not just you....However, getting steamed about it (as I do, often) just makes things worse. I read the Miss Manners column in the Washington Post (I think she has a website also) for some wonderful ideas for responses to rudeness which address the problem without escalating things. It's good, because that way you don't feel like a doormat, but you're also not making things worse.

And of course, you're modeling good behavior for your kids....

your totally right! we have alot of problems with people not repecting our pesonal property. we have neighbors who hav e 8 dogs (and we live on lots less than an acre) and they dont tie them up and let them dig and destroy everyone elses yard. their kids do they same they think they own the street. it happens at the gym too. you are using a piece of equitment and you go to the bathroom leaving your water bottle and towel, and you come back and somebody moved your stuff and took over. my pet peeve in in the grocery store when people slam into you and keep walking like nothing happened. this happens to me alot (maybe cuz I'm tiny) I actually had to yell at someone who did this to me when I was 9 mnths pregnant (and hard to miss) I also hate when you're shopping as people just stand in the aisle talking, and when I say excuse me and try to get through they just give me a rude look and keep talking. its a grocery store not a social get together. ok I'm ranting but you make a good point.

I feel your pain! I could have written this myself! It is very sad, but in general, I think manners are severely lacking in our society. People are just too busy to care about others, and I think you are right when you say they don't care about themselves. I suppose all we can do is try to be a good example, teach our children respect, etc. and hope for the best! I keep wondering how bad it is going to get before it turns around...........

i thin its a matter of population growth, more people= more rude people

Its rude and I would send them a bill for your time and gas money. (or add it to the next bill)

I agree with you 110%! I'm constantly amazed at the lack of common courtesy I encounter every day! I couldn't be so rude if I tried my hardest!
Disrespect seems to run rampant these days and we are trying SO hard to set a good example for our kids and teach them manners and to respect others. BUT, I'm afraid, some days that my kids will end up as "doormats" to those self-centered disrespectful people who will take advantage of them! What's a mom to do?? So, I'm so happy to see others who feel the same way and who recognize that there IS a problem in our society and maybe, just maybe, if we raise our kids to have manners and respect, a turn-around is possible in the future generations.

Oh as you can see it is NOT just you.

People are straight out RUDE these days.
My son just turned two and has been saying HI to everyone he sees. I can not even begin to count how many people just look at him and say NOTHING!!
It makes me so mad, because he gets SOOO excited to see people and then they don't acknowledge him at all!