Is It Just Me... - Saint Paul,MN

I agree with some of the comments from the other posters. It is hard and it's not just you. Our long winters certainly don't help. Have you tried ECFE classes? My kids are teenagers and I still run into some of the moms I met through ECFE. Do you belong to the Y or a health club? Some of my best social connections are through the Y. A church? They often have women's groups and kid's activities. Once your kids get a little older and start participating in activities you will connect with a lot of parents that way. I often joke with my husband that I have no idea what we are going to do with our time or who we are going to socialize with once we don't have youth baseball and hockey!

Welcome to MN!! No, it's not you. For whatever reason, it takes years to break in up here ..... And I've heard the same from many, many people.

They talk about MN nice... But all that means is that they won't be rude to you in a supermarket, parking lot, etc. it does NOT mean that they are kind and include you in their lives.

I've met total strangers who have talked to me about it ( people who have moved several times) and about how they have never experienced anything like it. One neighbor is moving ( after 2.5 yrs) and it couldn't happen any faster for her liking.

I now ( after many many years ) have a wonderful set of friends. Amazing people..... But man it took FOREVER. I too have lived all over the place and had never seen/ experienced anything like it. You just need to be super aggressive about doing everything in the neighborhood ( Bunco, block party, etc) and about being to one to start/ organize things ( neighborhood Easter egg hunt, etc.) it feels a little crazy at times ( like why do I have to try so hard when I've never had to do this in my life) it works and eventually you'll find your friends.

My experience...it's a Woodbury mom problem. Many remind me of the clique snobs in HS....and if you don't look like you have a ton of $$ they look down at you. I have had this convo with other moms (SAHMs included) and they feel the same cold shoulder. I would recommend finding a MOms group in a nearby community and maybe you will find people more like you. Sorry for sounding so bitter but this is kind of an ongoing observation that I have heard from many about the area. I find it very sad.

I heard a joke the other day about Minnesotans... it was we'll give you directions anywhere but to our homes. Meaning - yes.. we are nice. But, many of us are closed off when ti comes to meeting new people.

I wish you lived by me in Plymouth. I'd invite you over :)

Keep trying! Call some of the classmates.

Keep in mind too - that when people work full time, their family time is limited and even though I stay home full time, I don't schedule a lot of playdates for my school aged kids. I just feel so busy with things as they are.

Good luck!
J.

We moved to MN about 5 years ago also, and yes, I've found that to be the case. People were quite friendly to start with; we had some things going on with other people new to the area, but now that we've been here five years, it seems like people have kind of backed off and we dont' have many friends. At least, not good ones. When we lived in WA, we had friends who called us and moved in with us when their electricity was out for days (granted, we knew them from growing up in the midwest), but we have yet to find people like that here. What I do to keep sane is find activities through the schools. I take my two youngest to ECFE (you should have a program in your area. I also volunteer with things (like Lenten meals) at my church where I can get to know some other people there. Granted, a lot of the people I get to know at my church are NOT women with children (they're women with grandchildren) but it still makes me feel connected a bit more.

It sounds like you are going to have to do some "work", which is awkward, at best. My mom had this problem when we moved (twice by the time I was 10) where people just didn't seem welcoming to the "outsider". She finally decided to do some baking and start knocking on doors. It's weird, a complete role-reversal; used to be that the neighbors would bring the newbies baked goods to welcome them to the neighborhood. My point, I guess, is to try to get as much "face time" as possible - knock on doors and talk to the parents instead of just calling. Good luck!

I feel the same way. We live in Cottage Grove. My daughter is 5. I am an older mom (38) and work full-time, so I thought that might be a contibuting factor.