My son began crying 2 weeks before 2nd grade started 8/25 & still has not adjusted to school starting. He does very well in school, is an excellent student, a good boy at home, but when it's time to go to bed he bursts into tears & becomes nearly hysterical about "being alone". I've tried to reassure him that he's in his own bedroom (where he's always been), his own comfy bed, with his own stuffed animals, blankets, pillows, & all his special things his room holds; his (twin) brother is right next door, my husband & I are in our room - he's not alone, it's just time for all of us to go to sleep. We made a "nest" of blankets & sleeping bags for him to sleep in his brother's room & he's been there every night. I tried to get him to sleep in his own bed last night, but again he burst into tears! We've been through a whole list of what could be wrong, including has anyone at school or home or anyplace else we go said mean things, done harmful things, done things that make him uncomfortable, etc., & he says no, everything's fine, he just doesn't want to be alone. Is this normal? Should I worry? Will this end soon? It's distressing to me that my otherwise well-adjusted little boy is so very anxious to the point of tears!
Just let them sleep together. My twin grandbabies- 7 now always seem to end up in each others bed- ok, why not?
best,k
My 7 yo son is doing the same thing and I have to lay with him until he goes to sleep. He sleeps about 5 hours in his bed and then comes downstairs and gets in mine. I feel like I have a baby all over again.
We did move a couple of months ago and his room is no longer across the hall from mine. It's upstairs with his brother and sister's rooms.
Plus, he's scared of everything all of a sudden. Can't go upstairs in the middle of the day to get his clothes, but will go up there and play. So bizzare, I figure it's just a stage as others and will pass too.
Hello there Barbara,
I also have twin boys who are 7. I actually thought of giving them their own rooms but they simply like sleeping in the same room. I don't think it's weird and in fact I think it is sweet. After all they were brought into this world together and just feel more secure together. I am thinking when they are teenagers then perhaps that will be the time for their own rooms.
Good Luck and God Bless :).
My second born (I have 3 sons) son began this last year when he was 7 y.o. too and it is still a mystery to us. He is also well behaved, good in school, etc. His justification was at first was 'my bed is not comfortable' then after hundreds of $ for new comforters it was 'afraid of the dark' so a light helps, but we can tell it is a psychological attachment or fear of something. I am sure this phase will pass. They way he cries uncontrollably doesn't make sense. Lately he forces himself to fall asleep early on the couch or our bed when people are around vs. sending him to bed. You are not alone.
Twins have a special connection that most people do not understand. I have two sets of twin brothers and Ron and Don slept the same bed and Russ and Ray slept in the same bed until they said they were ready for a bed of their own. My cousins were twins, they also shared the same bed until my Aunt was told that they needed to be seperated because they were a boy and girl. Twins have this special connection that others don't understand. My brother Don passed away a year ago and Ron is a totally different person since his passing. It's a bond they form before birth. Not to say something else could be going on. Has he been wathing news, any deaths lately, another child at school going through divorce? But I think it is more than likely the twin thing. Let them sleep together. It's not hurting anything and just building a closer bond between them that they will share their entire lives.
Kids change as they grow and develop.... Like everything else hhis will likely be a phase that he will eventually grow out of but in the meantime I would make him as comfy and secure as possible. Talk to the boys and see if they would like to share a bedroom for sleeping.... This sounds like a great plan anyway while they are young. Eventually they will probably want their own space but for now they can provide each other comfort and security at bedtime....
Another option is to let him camp out next to your bed for a while until he tells you that he feels better about being in his room alone again. Don't stress or worry about this causing a lifetime of problems or let anyone tell you that he'll still be in your room until he moves out for college... This is a phase and development that he is asking and seeking comfort for right now. Who better to provide it than Mom and Dad? It will only make him trust more, feel safer and more secure and importantly that he can turn to you when he feels anxious.... So many kids are forced to fend for themselves, comfort themselves and get through it alone....which I don't think does them any good in growing stronger with people they love.
Best wishes with your little guy! This too shall pass :-)
All the stresses of school and social life are coming to a head at bedtime. COnsider taking him to an occupational therapist for an evaluation. Other things will probably be brought to your attention during an evaluation because normally one or both twins have trouble processing sensory information. Twins are at a much higher risk of SPD, learning problems, social anxiety and more.
Dear Barbara,
Just as every adult is different and has different needs, so do children. In children their needs can "shift" for no apparent reason. While it is important to be on the lookout for problems, sometimes there aren't any. Of my three grown girls, two of them went through periods of this off and on growing up. I used to laugh about why I bothered buying three beds when it seemed one of them was always empty (one would go crawl in bed with another).
As human beings it is normal for us to seek attention, affection, and resist being alone at times. Your son is reaching out and there is nothing wrong with that. It will pass, and it may or may not come back. I would invest in a sleeping bag.
I have 2 boys and 2 girls and they both share a room and I wouldn't have it any other way. It helps if they have someone to share the room with, (it helps them from coming to share the bed with us) Maybe your boys could share, after all they are twins and might benefit from that while they are still young. And pray with them and explain that God is with them and protecting them.
Hope it all works out!
Take care!
V.
I would really concider allowing the boys to share a room. It may just be the comfort he needs. For whatever reason.
Barb,
Is there a reason you don't have both boys in the same room seeing they are of the same sex. You also say they are twin boys and he seem fine when in the room with his brother. There is a connection with twins that he might fear being "separated" that we might not know about. I would let them sleep in the same room.
I'm curious about one aspect... are your boys in the same classroom at school? What about last year? I'm wondering if a change in the amount of time they spend together at school might be related to any of it...
I vote that you let him sleep in his brothers room. Let him keep his own room and tell him that when he's ready to sleep in his own bed again, he can do so. I would try to make things as matter of fact as possible. Avoid making any more fuss.
Best of luck!
Jen M.
Perhaps I'll be criticized for being weird, but I think "civilization" and "prosperity" have brought changes to which humans have not acclimated. In other cultures, and until very recently, children had to sleep together because there was not room. Look at all the animals........we are not so far removed from them. I would say to let your child sleep with his brother....it is my belief that this is the natural order of things. He can have his room with his stuff when he wants privacy.
Did the twins prevously share a room? I have heard it is very common for twins to be close and often share rooms even when they dont have to because of the close bond and comfort factor of being together.
