I have twin boys. They are different in every way possible. One is what I would think a typical 4yr old would be. My other son is totally different. Both my boys did not sleep through the night without whining or crying about something until they were about 3. Its gotten much better, but my son that seems to have these issues still whines, cries, talks in his sleep probably 50% of the time. And when he does talk he always talks about stuff from the previous day. It can be as silly as him saying he doesn't want to eat at Taco Bell, as his pants being dirty, to how his brother might have hit him. I usually can go and cover him up, pat his head, tell him that everything is fine and turn on his little music box. During the day, He gets so upset so easily. His pants got dirty on the knee and he had to change them. His bike gets stuck and he whines. He spills a little bit of milk on his placemat and he says "oh now, I spilled" ina whining, crying voice. I usually just tell him is ok and then we fix the problem together. He can be very particular about how you say things. If you say drink you juice, he will say "no, orange juice". or if you say grab your milk from the table, he will say "no chocolate milk". Or I will say eat your toast, he says "no peanut butter toast". If you ask him a question the answer is usually no, but you know it should be yes. I can ask him if he wants to color a picture and he might say "ahhh no". Then I will go to the table with my other son and start to color and he throws a mini fit and says he wants to color. I try to just to tell him that is all he had to do is ask to color. The saying no when he probably wants to say yes goes on all day. If he not whining then he is usually content. He plays just fine. One of his daycare teachers have noticed a little bit of this but not at the extreme that I have scene, but he only goes to school 2x a week. I have looked up everything that I can find online and nothing seems to describe him. I am almost at my whits end because my husband thinks is discipline problems and I of course thinks it may be much more involved in that. Can anybody out there relate. I keep telling myself that if we can't get this figured out I am going to the pediatrician. Any ideas.
As the parent of a child with ADHD and OCD, I've learned to trust my instinct as a mom. If you're feeling like something isn't right, get in with the pediatrician for a referral to a specialist. Don't try to self-diagnose ... you never know what the situation might be and information online isn't always accurate.
Good luck!
Your 4yo son sounds like my 3yo daughter. My daughter is constantly correcting what we say and/or how to say it. It's kind of a funny game. I'll say something (e.g., donkey). She'll say, "No, it's donkey" with a different inflection. etc. etc. I joke that it's like I'm trying to speak French and just keep getting the very subtle nuances wrong.
And another similarity. For a few months, if my daughter got her shirt wet (even a little), she'd insist on changing it. This was particularly unfortunate because she really loves to play around with water in the sink. She's getting better about this issue, but she still has her moments.
I suggest you look up the terms "spirited" or "strong-willed" child and see if you can find examples of what actions/behaviors these types of kids typically exhibit. I just got a book called "Setting Limits for your Strong-Willed Child," which I'm finding is a huge help. The best thing is it gives examples of some of the things spirited children might do. It may just be that you have one compliant child and one spirited one. I think of spirited kids as being really ornery, but really smart and independent (at least mine is!).
Anyway, I think it is highly unlikely that it's a discipline issue. If it were, both of your boys would probably be this way.
Good luck!
I'm with Suzi on this one! I felt something was "off" with my daughter when she was 3 1/2, but her teachers all told me she was fine, just smart! I didn't listen to my gut until a year later, when we finally decided to get her assessed. The clinical psychologist said she had Asperger's, we got help, now, at age 6, she's doing much better!
I'm not saying your son has Asperger's, but I did learn that a mom needs to listen to her gut. If you feel there's something wrong, there very well could be. Don't question your instincts, get your son assessed. They may find that it's nothing and put your mind to rest, or they may find an issue, but then you get help.
Good luck!
C.
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You should stop trying to figure it out by yourself, it sounds very complicated, there are elements of many different issues, and you need a Developmental Pediatrician. There are many elements to sort out, and a Developmental Pediatrician will provide you with an evaluation that will include all the elementents you may need from soup to nuts. Call your nearest children's hospital and and ask to make an appointment with a Developmental Pedaitrician, you will not regret it, and you will have your answers and a comprehensive plan to help him.
He sounds miserable, I would make the appointment in the morning.
M.
He sounds like he has a few personal quirks. But he doesn't sound that different than many 3 year old's I've been around. He has a good language skills if he's constantly correcting what you say that way. If he's blending in well at school and not raising any flags, I'd just take it easy. He'll likely be just fine. Of course, many people will say get him evaluated because early intervention is better. I completely disagree. I think the world is ready to call just about anyone and everyone "special". Well guess what? We are special and unique in our own ways and it's not always bad :)
