Is Change Possible?

Have you tried flylady? It does help--good tips on "keeping up with" things so they don't get to the overwhelming level. It helps me keep on top of what I know are my "hot spots" (which include mail, paperwork, etc.)

I feel your pain. Currently going through the same thing.
I am not OCD but have friends who are. Their homes are spotless.
All I am asking for is somewhere in the middle.
It has gotten worse since having kids.
Plus, not to lay blame, but my hubby is not tidy nor organized so that does not help.

Here's what I have committed to doing & have been starting:

-toss junk mail
-hv a place for EVERYTHING: mail bin, newspaper bin, magazine rack etc
-I am currently going through things. Here's what I am doing: getting rid of
any duplicates,
-donating things,
-rotating things I no longer like or care for....meaning donating them,
-not buying any more knick knacks,
-no shopping till I get rid of stuff, utilize my closets,
-cupboards & drawers better
-going through clothes on a constant basis: donating coats I no longer use etc
-having a garage sale
-sell furniture items on craigslist
-downsizing
-keep countertops, shelves cleared & clutter-free
-by wiping down couters twice a day, you will automatically keep things clear
-put things away
-have a place for everything: shoes, keys etc

For me... It's not.

I have no internal sense of structure... So I have to create external structure.

With my husband finally gone, I can finally go back to external structure. Ah. Bliss. Well... Almost. First I have to wade through the past several years worth of him just thrashing about and then yelling at me the house is a mess. Sorry... But when things just get dumped whenever/wherever... I'm toast. It needs a 'home'. It's probably no big deal for some people... Apparently it was no big deal for him (but he never put things right)... But it's a big deal for me. When things are all jumbled together... They stay that way.

Many people have great luck with Flylady. For myself, very little could be worse designed.

For ME it's all about finding work arounds.

Just one of many:

I don't fold clothes, and I don't hang them up. Period. But if I have rows of hooks to hang my clothes on instead of dressers and hangers? Voila. All hung neat and orderly. If I don't? Piles. It doesn't matter how great the closet or dresser... They will never make it in. Don't get me wrong... I've tried. It's wasted effort.

One more?

A 'mudroom' where everything gets stripped off before coming in. I don't have a mud room... So I 'made' one. It's not ideal... But it's where everything comes off. Jackets, backpacks, shoes. It's not in the best location house wise, it IS in the location where we actually tool those things off and scattered them

Paper is one of our biggest problems.
Deciding what needs to stay and what needs to go can be complex.
JUNK mail needs to get gone right away.
Bills, pay them, right it down on the bill that it was paid and throw it in a box.
Empty that box at the end of each year. The box is important tho, you dont want paper all over your kitchen table or counter, put it in THE BOX.
Cleaning is a health issue. Pick a day during the week or wknd that is good for you to wipe down, dust and vacuum/mop. Make THAT day religous.
It's really not all that hard.
Kids get used to the schedule we set, always good to involve them and hubby if possible. We all need structure, otherwise everything becomes willy-nilly.

You might check out the blog 'abowlfulloflemons'. It has a section on organization and cleaning that I found really practical and realistic. It inspired me to tackle my mail station and other trouble spots in my house. :) I'm not great, but I am BETTER and taking control of one thing at a time has been incredibly empowering.

Hmmm, mostly I wonder not 'is change possible', but rather, 'is change necessary?'

I mean which is a greater discomfort for you? Being more disorganized and messier then you think you ought to be? Or FORCING yourself to be something that does not come naturally. Forcing yourself to be something you're not.

It IS difficult to forgive what we perceive as our shortcomings.

But are you missing deadlines left and right? Are you NEVER able to find something you're looking for? Are your KIDS suffering because of this?

Or are you just comparing your own tendencies to the ideal and falling short?

Sure, change is possible, but will making yourself be something you're not around the clock be MORE trouble then having a mess?

See what I mean?

:)

I like the Flylady system (formerly known as Sidetracked Home Executives, which is when *I* first discovered it years ago). You might try it. I'm not organized by nature, and I don't actually consider myself an organized person now, but I now consider myself a capable person.

Get somebody to help you get your house ready for selling. But start with the ubiquitous "shiny sink" on the Flylady site and proceed, inch by inch, from there.

You have two situations: that of getting your own act together, and that of getting your house ready to sell. Don't mix the two up, but do act on both goals. Yes, change is possible!

There are so many bloggers out there and online organizers that can inspire you daily and give you just a 5 minute job each day to get you organized without getting overloaded. Also what helps me is to pretend a friend might drop in unexpectedly at any moment...that one works every time.

Try subscribing to their daily newsletter and it will give you a quick room or task to complete. Good Luck

http://orgjunkie.com/
http://www.homesanctuary.com/rachelanne/
http://www.clutterdiet.com/

Make yourself a weekly schedule. Today I will go through x number of kitchen drawers. Throw out things you never use (or donate). Organize the rest. The next day pick one closet. Give yourself a small goal each day. Once you have finished with most of the house you have to keep doing this. Every single day you just have to keep on it. Get rid of stuff you don't use. Go through your clothes twice a year. Go through your kids clothes/things twice a year. You just have to make a list and give yourself a job each day. Daily get rid of mail, papers, things that pile up. Go through the piles and put things where they go or get rid of them/donate. It does not take that long if you give yourself a reasonable/short list. Just start today...it'll make you feel better.

My daughter is dyslexic and has inattentive ADD and she actually simply cannot organize. She makes piles, and we have bought her cubicles so she can see all her stuff. So don't be too hard on yourself, some folks have the tidy gene and others do not. My sister also has piles in her house, not at all hoarding, she just prefers piles over boxes or closets. Plus she knows exactly where anything is in any of the piles. But she lives alone so she can do what she wants.
The best idea is to avoid letting stuff into your house. Tell the school you will read their info online (saves paper and someone standing at the copier), leave a brown paper bag in the garage so when junk mail comes in don't even bring it in the house, throw it out right away. Make everyone responsible for their own junk: we have a rule that if I tell them about a mess they have 24 hours to tidy or else I throw it out (I was born with the tidy gene!). We have lots of rubbermaid bins labeled with what is in them in the basement (mostly toys and seasonal decorations).
You have gotten some good advise. Attack one area at a time, and don't let the mess or guilt overwhelm you.

Change is always possible IF you truly want the change. It'll be up to you to do the work. I think it takes like 3 months to make a habit.

If I were you, I'd ask a friend who is organized if they could help. I've found people who are organized like to share their tips. Set aside some cash for shopping for organizational stuff. Sneak in time with this friend, have him/her "assign" you homework for the next week. If you two can donate a weekend and bang it out great, but most people don't have the time. Be sure to buy the friend's food while doing this and give a nice gift when you're all done. Then maybe this friend can hold you accountable by stopping over unannounced.

Focus less on the past and other family who have these tendencies and more on the future and how nice your home could be.

Honestly I believe you are being too hard on yourself. You are obviously the household manager. If it was a job it would be just managing the operation and setting the rules. But you live with people you love and yet you are the household manager too.
Living with other people requires rules and planning. The benefit is less stress for mama and a much happier place to live for everyone. Be proud of yourself and use some of the great tools here to help make your plans. Enroll your family in the new household plan. I know they love you and are willing to do their part.
I like labels, corny sometimes but also subtle reminders on where things go.

What I've finally done is give up on the "traditional" ways of managing paper and stuff. Instead of files (which my perfectionism never let me maintain) I've decided to go with document boxes. I'll have a box for "house" and a box for "work" and a box for "medical," etc. I'm a piler. I don't mind digging through a pile of paper, as long as I know the paper I'm looking for is in there. So, I'm containing my piles into labeled boxes.

Also, the extra "stuff" is going into banker's boxes (if there's enough, if not, smaller boxes). I have a "technology" box for all those chargers and wires and whatnot that we seem to accumulate now that are so hard to just throw away. I'll have a "sentiment" box where I'm keeping some wedding stuff, I'll put in some of my daughters outfits that I don't want to get rid of, etc.

Any organizing system more specific (or less contained) than this falls apart way too quickly for me because there's not a "perfect" file or a "perfect" place for the document or object.