Is Anyone a Foster Parent? I'm Considering it...any Advise?

Hello, I am not a foster parent but I was a foster child. And I temporarily had to place my kids in fostercare, about six years ago. I have all my children living with me now. It is a long story but I would be willing to share experince on both. I think that if you decide to become foster parents that is great but please make sure your kids are ready. Also make sure you are ready emotionally and physically. Please also make sure you know what programs are readily availble for foster children and foster Parents such as support groups.

I am a foster parent, however I have not had any kids in my house for a few years now. Since my son was born he takes up too much time with his special needs.

Foster parenting can be rewarding. Someone mentioned that you will know very little about the kids at placement. That is very true. We had many kids in and out of our house for several years. All of them come with emotional scars and issues. They require therapy to work through these issues. I had one boy placed with me at age 15, at age 16 he had a mental break down and ended up in a mental ward for a month. We found out at that point that he was suppose to have been on meds when he was placed with us - but it was overlooked.

You really have to stay on your case worker if you are going to provide these kids with the proper care. The case worker is all ready over loaded with work however, they are your medium to resources and tools to help these kids. Being a foster parent is a full time job in itself and requires a lot of attention to the kids.

I don't want to scare you off the idea but I think it is important to be totally committed and understand what you are getting into before hand in order to be successful. These kids truely need your help...

Hi M.!
First, it's woderful to hear someone who cares ask about becoming a foster parent. I don't foster myself, but I've sorked in child welfare in Chicago for about 10 years. Look into private agencys as well as DCFS. The quality of agencies varies a lot - If you're in the Oak Park area, then Hepzibah is an excellent agency. Evangelical Child and Family Agency (ECFA) is also great - they have offices in Evergreen Park, North side of Chicago and I think northwest suburbs. LSSI is good, too, in my experience. Catholic Charities in Cook and Lake County no longer has a foster care division. It is shutting down as of June 30th and all licenses are being transferred to other agencies.

I'd be happy to answer any questions you have about what it's like to work with DCFS kids as a foster parent. There is certainly a lot expected of foster parents - not only the "usual" parenting stuff (medical appointments, dealing with the schools, etc.) but also making the child available for visits with parents and/or siblings, taking the child to regular therapy appointments in some cases, never losing your cool (there's a very strict no corporal punishment rule), letting the caseworker in your home every month, letting liscening in your home at least yearly (differs between agencies), letting the child's attorney/attorney's office in the home about twice a year once the case gets going and more often early on in a new case, etc, etc.

It's a fabulous experience and good foster parents are in short supply. The opportunity to make such a significant difference in a child's life - a child that is truly in need - is absolutely wonderful. Good luck to you!

M.,
I applaud you for this step. It is a huge committment that can cause a great deal of stress- but also be a wonderful experience. I have worked in the foster care program for years and have a few comments/suggestions for you.

You often will have very little information about the children placed in your home. Sometimes, the placement worker or social worker will generally have very little information to tell you so be sure you ask as many questions as possible and talk to everyone you can right away about the child to see what else you can find about them so you can provide proper care. There is a program called CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) that may or may not have a chapter in your community- check it out. They advocate in court for the best interest of the child and they would be a great resource for any foster placement that you have. Talk to the social worker about getting a CASA appointed to the children you have. It gives you one more support system.

Be really cognizant about what the placement of kids do to your own children. I cared for my nephew for a few weeks while my sister in law was trying to get clean and it was just hell on my two young children. The lack of structure and extra attention I had to give my nephew (plus his terrible behavior) really took a toll on my kids. I saw their behavior start to change.

Lastly, you mention how your husband works long hours and it will be mostly up to you- Please just make sure that you still have time for the two of you. I know several foster parents who seperated/divorced not long after taking children in. The added stress sometimes was too much. So, just be sure your family dynamics aren't too negatively affected.

I hope I didn't sound too negative here- because there are so many wonderful reasons to do foster care- but just make sure it is working for your family. Join Foster Parent Associations and network with other foster parents- that way you will have more support systems.

Take care- Please feel free to send me a message if you want to talk more about it.

K.

Hi, M.. I am foster mom to my 2 little granddaugthers. Because I'm a relative foster care provider, the history part is a lot different than traditional care - I've been involved in their lives since day 1 (and of course their parents). So I can't really give you much advice about traditional care. I can tell you, though, that you will have both blessings and trials. It's much different than raising your own, even in my case.

Contact agencies like Catholic Charities, Lutheran Family Services (?), etc. (I believe they all work with DCFS, though, so you may get all the info you need from DCFS). There are classes that you'd need to take, and you will learn alot in those classes - by no means everything that you'd need to know, but enough to know whether it's really for you. Find out about those classes, and take it from there! Don't hurry into any decisions, but do educate yourself about it.

I commend you as well, and best wishes to you!