Is 7 to Young for Chores?

NOPE! My girls have been doing chores since they've been able to...I'd say they started around 18 months or maybe 2 yrs. When I do laundry, they sort. If I fold, they sort socks and underwear and they fold towels & wash cloths. When I'm dusting, I give them a dust rag as well. The girls also make their own beds in the morning and are responsible for seeing their own laundry is put away and their toys are picked up. You can tell in their mannerisms the children who have responsibility at home and those who are given nothing to do. You daughter is the perfect age to be doing stuff.

I think that all kids should contribute to the household if they are able to. You aren't the maid. Now, if you were sitting on the couch eating bonbons and telling her that she missed a spot, that might be a bit much, but learning to clean and respect the house she lives in is not a bad thing.

I don't think that's too young at all. A little compensation might go a long way though... (allowance, etc...)

Good for you! It's good to see kids with a bit of a work ethic these days...

If you are expecting too much of your daughter at age 7, then I am really in trouble! My 4 year old does all that and then some =-)

All your chores sound age appropriate to me! You're doing a great job raising your kids. Tell your Aunt to chill out! LOL!

My kids have had chores since they were 4. The chores started with taking care of their own things and have been added to as they got older. My 2 yr old even helps out with stuff. I agree that if you are extreme with expectations or sitting around while your children must take care of everything, then shame on you but a few chores should not be a problem. I told my kids that 20 minutes of chores is only a small part of their day. Of course, their hiss fits last longer than the actual chores. :)

I don't know how many chores you have your daughter doing, so I can't say if you expect too much. However, I do not think 7 is too young for chores at all! As long as you don't ask her to do too many things, what you describe are perfectly fine for a child her age.

Nope.
5 is not too young for chores. and your chores sound age appropriate.
Those kids that don't have chores from a young age are harder to get to do the chores. Start young !

I hope 7 isnt too young for chores. My daughter is 7 (the oldest of two), she has "dishtowel duty(folds the dishtowels), she brings in the empty trash cans. Takes the trash out of the little trashcans in the bathrooms, She cleans her own room, brushes her own toilet, and clears her own plate, sometimes she changes diapers, and she usually throws diapers away for me when im changing my baby.

there are some things she wants to do, mop (although she does this badly and i prefer not to let her), dust and spray febreze(she loves these)

sometimes i worry i give her too much to do, but then i remember when i was her age my mom died and i had to do EVERYTHING, including cook dinner using all the stoves and ovens. I was prepared to be a mom over a decade before it was time to be one, it has helped me deal with the reality that life requires SERIOUS maintenance.

i think you are doing fine, but be sure to make any boys you might have do the same things. I often see boy children get the lightest housework load.

I've always felt that the younger they start the better! As someone else mentioned, the more your kids help out the more play time you will have together. My daughter is only 17 months and she has already started helping out, though most of the time it is more work for us when she helps. We have made it like a game for her...we sing songs when it's time to put toys away and we are obviously not picky about where toys go, we have one toybox downstairs and one big toy bucket up in her room so she just has to throw toys in those. We started keeping all her dishes in a bucket on the kitchen floor so in the morning she picks out and brings me a cup and she also takes her clean cups out of the dishwasher and puts them away. She also likes to switch the laundry with me, and walk around with the dustpan when I sweep. My husband and I joke (or maybe not) about getting her one of those little kid, but really working vaccums for Christmas. I know she's not going to want to help forever, so we might as well take advantage of it while she loves it!
Good for you for making your daughter help out, she will appreciate it when she's older!

My kids both have started chores at three. I have added one chore a year to my daughters list now five, she is in charge of getting all the laundry to the laundry room from the house, and put her own clothes away. She is also in charge of the table, clearing and setting up. my son is in charge of helping me clean the bathrooms. I think you are doing the right thing by instilling chores at a young age. Our kids also have to help with other things but those are the daily/weekly requirements. My son just helped my hubby sweep the floors while my daughter helped tidy up the living room and downstairs to vacuum. So NO you do not expect too much from your daughter!! Yay for you for being a good mom and teaching them what they can only learn from home at home!!

If she HATED doing chores and it was a battle, I'd say yes. Let her grow up a little more or change her responsibilities. If she doesn't mind, understands how it helps the family or even likes to be helpful (there are kids like that) then of course not.

So I guess my answer is "it depends".

Tell you Aunt to mind her own business. You make your own rules for your family and she makes them for hers. It is our responsibility as parents to teach our kids how to be independent and take care of things. You are doing a great job. I have a reward chart for my 4 year old and he LOVES it.

No. Kids need to learn that being part of a family means that you are expected to contribute to the family's well-being, in this case the upkeep of the family home. My three year old son is expected to clear his dishes at every meal, pick up his toys and clothes (with help), and occasionally make his bed to the best of his ability. He likes to help me with other chores, too, but isn't physically able to do them on his own yet. His 6 year old sister has the same responsibilities and is also expected to help clean and set the table, put her folded laundry and her toys away, and is now starting to sweep and mop a little (these are not everyday chores for her). She complains a lot ("What, do I have to clean the whole house?!") but too bad. We will probably start giving her an allowance soon but it will not be tied to her chores. I think you know best what your daughter's abilities are - it doesn't sound like you expect her to work hours a day.

i think its fine, im sure you dont expect her to vaccuum perfectly, so its just the point of her doing it.

one thing to please everyone is to have a poster of sorts. like have all the chores, and have everyones name. put a sticker each time one of them completes a task. then when they get X number of stickers, give them a dollar or something, or even a one on one date for ice cream with just mommy. for something special, like help washing the car, give them 3 stickers.

i have my 2 year old feed the dog in the morning. the 5 year old gives him water and makes her bed. they both are being taught to clear their dishes. sometimes its makes more of a mess. and i def have a hard time getting them to put away their toys for some reason. but the other stuff, they seem fine with. once my daughter starts kindergarten, i want to start the chart to be more structured. my kids make a mess on a daily basis, i often clean up their things, i think its fine to teach them they have to help out too. its when kids are never made to do anything that there is a problem.

I think you are on the right track too! My family always had chores growing up and we liked when we got old enough to do something new. It was our job!

In our house jobs were often determined by a child's proximity to the ground. A good one that got us outside was walking ahead of the lawn mower to pick up sticks so my Dad wouldn't catch them (plus he could watch us and work;). And for many years my mother had someone to dust all the detail work at the base of her china cabinets and end tables.

I think kids should have chores to do every day to help maintain life and to learn to be responsible grown ups one day. I start as soon as they can, my daughter is 2 and helps clean up every day and I slowly increase the responsibilities as they get older. I cannot imagine trying to start kids on chores when they are older, how in the world to you change their habit of doing nothing?

All that being said, I think vacuuming may be a bit much, I just started my son vacuuming a year ago at age 9. Vacuums are just heavy and they run the risk of hurting themselves. I have also always had my kids clear the table after we eat, this is required as soon as they can get the dishes to the sink without dropping everything on the floor (about 3). I have them rinse their dishes and help me put things in the refrigerator. I do not have them empty the dishwasher, again more for safety reasons, our upper cabinets are super high and I would just feel better if I put that stuff away. I do have them put the silverware away and such. My 10 year old has been helping me put the dishes away for about a year now. My 4 year old and 10 year old do the the bathrooms (we wipe them down every day and do a thorough clean once a week). I have them sometimes mop the kitchen floor, pick up their playroom and bedroom each day, and I have them make their beds each day. For the rest of the week, they split up the other chores, like feeding the pets, helping me cook, putting laundry away, watering plants, etc.

In short, I think you are smart having your children do chores and if you feel your daughter is in a position to vacuum and empty the dishwasher then have her do it. Don't let your aunt intimidate you, every parent has a different style so let it be.

Good luck to you, you will be happy with how your children turn out since you have taught them to be responsible early on.

Assigning chores to kids at an early age is good for them. You are slowly introducing them to responsibility and consequences. My 2 yr. old comprehends putting her diaper in the trash, picking up her toys...most of the time anyways. My son has always been responsible for cleaning the yard, emptying the trash, washing the car, and helping out in the kitchen. My daughter cleans and vacuums the house, laundry (sorting, folding), and my 10 yr. old sweeps and mops the porch, puts away all shoes, and helping her older sister with other chores in the house. They do not get an allowance. When my kids want something, they will ask us if they can get it. And they've learned to do their part by finding out where and how much it costs. We always reiterate that all we want is for them work hard to get good grades, stay out of trouble, and do their chores. So far it works. As they grow up, they appreciate what you do to keep the house clean. My husband and I do all the cooking. Kids can do simple things like eggs, toast, rice, sandwiches. We don't have a dishwasher. Everything is done manually, lol'. So back to the point, never too early to start them off on the right foot.

I'm starting to have my 4 year old do more chores than cleaning her room and clearing her dishes from the table.

I haven't started *requiring* her to do them yet, but just asking her to help me. At this age she's excited to help Mommy! :) She was so excited to help me put clothes in the washer, and then she put the clothes into the dryer as I handed them to her (I kinda liked that, I didn't have to lean down so much! ha!)

No way! It's not like she is doing chores all day, she just has a few things to do. I think it's great and your dear aunt needs to butt out:) My son is 3 and I enlist his help as much as possible!!

I didn't read the other responses, but NO! My kids ALL help with the house chores. If they ever put up a huge fight, we back off. Chores are not meant to punish, but to make a family run smoothly. But 9 times out of 10, chores are still fun for the kids. My kids are 3, 5, and 7, and all three of them help with mostly everything. But they are only responsible for cleaning their rooms and picking up after themselves. They all help with the dishes, laundry, vacuuming, wiping the table, etc - unless they fight too bad.

You are doing GREAT with training your daughter to work. She is part of a family, and in a family, we all work together. People think children are a burden because they don't integrate them into the family in all ways. They should contribute to the work of the family. Your aunt is wrong. I am certainly not saying that the children should do all the work, but they should work alongside us. It's so good for them, and as you know with 4 children, you can't do it all. Why should you have to? I think it gives the children such a better sense of family when everyone works together. She will be your right hand before you know it.

7 is the perfect age to begin contributing to home management tasks (chores). Everyone benefits from and uses the home, so everyone is responsible for its maintenance. I am a Professional Organizer and mom of 2 daughters, and I wrote a book ~ Mom Can I Help Around the House ~ about teaching children to be cheerful contributors to maintaining the home. It comes with a workbook and a hand-held chore binder that contains over 90 chore cards designed for the child's at each developmental level.

Learn ____@____.com and on my blog www.TheOrganizingGenie.com.

J., The Organizing Genie

In our house chores are sort of a family affair. No one likes to be working in the house while others are watching TV or playing games or lounging around so when something needs to be cleaned up we ALL get up and get to work. Even the toddler. We have our little one help us with whatever we're doing. If we're working in the kitchen, papa is unloading the dishwasher, mama is rinsing the dirty dishes and getting them ready to load as soon as he's done and daughter has a little broom and is sweeping kitchen dust-bunnies into a little pile or picking up her toys and putting them in the plastic bin we stuff under the coffee table.

If the carpet needs vacuuming, I will drive the vacuum and my husband and daughter will race around the house picking things up off the floor so they don't get "sucked up". Then leap onto the bed so I don't get their toes. They are at the ready for me to holler "someone better come get this light brite or it's going to get sucked up!" or "oh no! a marble is about to meet his maker!" then with a squeal my daughter will skirt around me to find the missed item and snatch it up before running back to the bed.

Folding clothes. I have her help me separate everything into piles for each member of the family and a towel pile. Then she's in charge of the hangers and hands them to me when I call for them.

Washing the clothes. I have her help me separate the loads and throw them in the washer but I measure out the soap and push all the buttons.

Cleaning her room, I help her with that and she helps me with mine. Her room is always a bigger bomb of a mess than mine is but I have furniture that needs to be wiped down with pledge every now and then and I have the aquarium in my room, which is an extra chore, so I guess it evens out.

I suppose when she's older she can do some of these things on her own, but since I know I personally hate doing chores all by myself, I won't make her do them by herself.

In 2-3 years when your aunt is trying to figure out why her kids are running wild and can't manage to clear their own dishes, do take pleasure in reminding her of these conversations!!

I think you are doing everything just right. I have my 2 year old grandson help with dishes. Sometimes we get real wet, and like you, all my 4 grandkids here have work to do. I raised 5 kids of my own, they all lived and they all are good workers and players too. We tried to have home be a happy place to be. I had a friend that didn't want her kids to have to work, and they were spoiled, Now as they have grown, they have a real problem getting good jobs, and keeping them. They also have problems with cleaning their own homes. It is not too much of a problem, she says, because she still goes over and helps them out sometimes. LOL Tell your aunt thanks for her thoughts, you will think about it. Then forget about it. As long as your kids KNOW that you love them and the work has a reward, ( thanks sometimes and working for something other times. they will be fine.) They shouldn't be paid for all they do..unless you charge rent and have them pay for food. You are doing great.

I didn't even read all the responses, but I make my 5 and 3 year old do a lot of the same things! And when my 3 year old complained about being bored today I told him to go find something to do or I would give him a job. He picked the job and I got my front door wiped down! I figured the earlier I started the less fight it would be as they got older b/c they would be more used to it. And quite frankly, they make most of the messes and little hand prints around here, so I'm more than happy to have them help clean them up!

no, you're expecting the right amount from her. You are teaching her real life skills and giving her responsibility, both of which are needed for her to grow into a responsible adult.

HECK NO!!! Your aunt is expecting too LITTLE!!! Maybe she should watch some old episodes of Little House on the Prairie. Sheesh!

Chores rock, if they are age appropriate and conveyed with love and respect....and it sounds like yours are!
Kids LOVE to help out...love to be praised for work they do and they love to feel like an important part of the family. Living in a home with a family takes a lot of work...and the more you integrate the kids into taking on sharing of responsibility, the more included, loved and proud they feel. Sure, they may give you a hard time once in a while...but I think you're giving your children gifts that will last a lifetime. Kids also like to do things that adults do...and giving them these important chores makes them feel like part of the family. We are not here to wait on our kids hand and foot..(nor are they to be our work horses!!) we're here to teach them to be loving, independent kids with self worth, confidence and skills.... keep up the good work and you will have strong, proud and confident children!

Hi J.. Seven is not too young for chores. At that age, I didn't have my kids emptying the entire dishwasher (usually the silverware) or doing serious vacuuming, but they certainly did chores. It doesn't matter if your aunt would never have her kids do those things, it doesn't make you wrong and it doesn't make her wrong for not having her kids do those things. All kids should have some responsibility for the house. At that age, my kids would set and clear the table, put away the silverware from the dishwasher, feed and groom pets, empty wastebaskets, sort laundry, put their folded laundry away, strip their beds on laundry day, basic food prep like washing/peeling veggies, sweep the deck or porch, wash and vacuum the cars, that sort of thing. How does your daughter know that her friends' moms don't make them do chores? Honestly, a lot of parents just do too much for kids and expect too little. Be sure that the amount of time you expect her to spend on chores is age appropriate.

I think it is a bit much for a 7 year old, but that is just my opinion. I think picking up after themselves and clearing the table would be enough. The one thing you could run a risk of is her rebelling to do chores when she really is old enough to do the chores she should be doing (like the ones you have her doing now plus dusting, laundry etc). It's like starting kids too young in sports, by the time their bodies are finally developed enough to actually play the sport, they are burned out. On the other hand, you are teaching her responsibility and that is a good thing. You know your daughter best and her capabilities - it is ultimately your call and no one else's.

NO...stick to your guns! Give the kids chores now while they are young so they can see everyone can contribute to the household which will give you all more free time to play together! I just vacuumed my entire 2nd floor while my 5 kids sat around watching tv or on the computer or playing video games....I think I should have been stronger when they were younger and then they would have more of a sense of accomplishment not entitlement...my mistake...but I'm going to fix that now....so if you hear any loud whining for the next few weeks...it's coming from Warrington, PA...Good Luck and remember do what works for your family..not your Aunts! M.

Nope, I learned to do age appropriate things when I was 5. I have my son (even at his demand to help with stuff and I let him) - put away his toys, pick up his plate from table after dinner, he helps his dad take out the garbage from his room (small bin), he helps us take out light groceries from the car (bread, eggs, his chips) and he runs the vaccum and the grocery cart..and he is 4. I don't REQUIRE he does it at that age though, but I don't discourage it, because I want to make him independent. I know a girl now 18, never did that stuff and behold have to live in a dorm at college...has no clue how to cook, wash dishes, run dishwasher, laundry etc. This experience is going to be a shocker for her when she finally has to do her own chores...

You've already gotten the answers you need here (and I agree with all the posters who point out how much easier it is to start them at a young age), so hopefully you're no longer doubting your actions. The other question, though, is why you care what your aunt thinks. I mention this only because there will be more and more times when other parents do things differently, which will lead to more times when your children balk at you. As long as you are comfortable with what you're doing, you'll need to come up with ways to defend your choices - children shouldn't do just what comes easy, and it's our role as parents to help them make the hard choices as well as the easy ones (my belief, at least, and it sounds similar to yours). It sounds like you're doing a great job, so keep it up ;)

I think chores are definitely an important part of teaching about responsibilites and building character but something like vacuuming sounds like a little too much just b/c most vacuums are kind of heavy to push around. But I dont know what vacuum you have or your daughter's strength. As long as you use common sense when it comes to making the chore list, I think giving out chores is fine.

I agree with the other moms-- chores are good! My 2 year old has chores-- he has to clear his plate from the table, clean up his toys, and put his laundry in the basket. As time goes on, I will add to the list. The only one of the chores you mention is running the vacuum -- that sounds like it might be a bit heavy for her, but maybe you have a really light vacuum (I have a Dyson that is 22 pounds and *I* can barely push it, lol.) As long as she's not spending more than an hour a day on ch ores, I'd say you are right on target. I am astonished by how many kids (much older than 7) have no responsibilities at home. How are they ever going to learn how to do anything?!?!

Hi, J.:
Ask your aunt what is her concerns about the niece doing chores,
If your daughter is having hissy fits, then you need to sit down with her and negotiate what is and isn't acceptable but allow her to have some control of her responsibilities.
Good luck. D.

Your aunt is on acid. Just because she wouldn't teach responsibility that young, doesn't mean it's the wrong thing to do. Good work!

I haven't read the other posts, so sorry if this is a repeat. But I think chores are good and my 4-year old does them, so I don't think 7 is too old as long as their age-appropriate. Obviously, a 4-year old can't really complete any chore completely, but we have a little chore chart with magnets and have things on it like, keep bedroom clean, straighten up playroom, he loves to help vacuum and likes to put things in the dishwasher obviously under our supervision and help. He also started helping to set the table. He loves putting magnets on his chart!! He's in that "wants to help with everything" phase and it might take twice as long to do anything but hopefully if he gets used to helping at a young age, he'll be more willing to do chores when he gets older. I don't think it's as much about what they're doing, but teaching them about helping around the house.

I know this is an older post and you've gotten a lot of responses, but I just wanted to give you props for teaching your kids early on to take responsibility. So many parents today do EVERYTHING for their kids, and that is a big disservice to the kids. 7 is not too young for any of the chores you mention (my youngest has helped vacuum since he was 5, he likes to, although I've had to go back over it sometimes). You're right that if something breaks it's no big deal. And that, even if it takes longer, it's no big deal, because you're teaching them how to take care of themselves, too.

NO! You are right! Your child is not too young! LOL I start my kids when they're walking and in diapers, putting their diaper in the garbage can, handing me a diaper and wipes, etc. The way we look at it is that a family is a team! Everyone works together to make the house run and they learn responsibility along the way. When my kids are doing their chores well (no allowance cuz we're a team) then I treat them now and then because they earned it.

It disgusts me to see children who have to do little or nothing, and on top of it get an allowance! For what? My children have always had the same complaints, that their friends don't do chores or do VERY little, and can go straight out to play after school and not worry about homework until they're in the mood. I tell mine the same thing. Too bad! I have always explained to my kids that those are the kids that grow up and know nothing when they're on their own and expect others to do for them instead of being independent. I explain about how in the old days many families were farmers. Can you imagine if none of the kids helped the farm run before and after school? They'd be living in a box under a bridge. A family is a team and we all pull our weight according to age. Of course, we don't want to over work our children so we encourage our 15 year old to get up, eat breakfast, do his chores, so the rest of the day is his. When he does that, he gets more privileges. If he messes around most of the day to get his chores done, he gets nothing and he doens't need to finally go outside at 2 or 4pm. He puts us behind when he doesn't unload the dishwasher so Dad can load it so he can pay the price. We have three full bathrooms. His job is the clean the one he uses which is on the main floor. When he does a shabby job of cleaning it once a week (a 10 minute job, Dad does the tub) then I don't pick up after myself in there and don't remind the kids either to show him that when others don't do their share it puts YOU behind, so he does a better job, lol.

I have a 23 year old son who is now married with a child. Before he was married he'd visit his then girlfriend and her roommates and would cook them dinner. They were shocked that he could cook, do dishes, do laundry and knew how to clean and use basic kitchen appliances! LOL He called me and thanked me for everything I taught him. I knew I was on the right track.

If your aunt enjoys being the house slave, let her, but tell her to mind her own business as your family is run like a team where everyone pitches in to keep it running and YOUR children will learn responsibility. Hate to see hers in a few years, cuz it's hard to instill those values the older they get.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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I didn't read the other posts so if I repeat anyone I apologize.
I have 4 kids: 16, 8, 4 and 9 months. The older three are girls. My 16 year old only loads and unloads the dishwasher and washes her own laundry. She used to have to do the laundry (just put it in the washer/dryer and bring it up stairs for me). To make a long story short: she has an intensive therapy program which is done in the house b/c of some of her behaviors the past year and her therapist thinks having her do the laundry every day along with the dishes and homework/school is too much. So, that's ALL she does. Nothing else. I am NOT thrilled with it at all, but that's another story. The other two kids really don't do much. They have to clean up their room. The 8 year old asks to help with stuff and I do make them help pick up their stuff out of the other rooms in the house. The 8 yr old will put the laundry in the dryer and turn it on for me. SHe's been asking to learn how to use the washer, but in all honesty I like my washer and don't want it broken. LOL
I do basically everything else. The hubby does the garbage and outside work and will help if I need him to with running the sweeper. He helps out tremendously with the kids, which I'd rather have him do that then other household stuff. But anyways, maybe I need to go read these responses b/c I'm thinking my kids have it way too easy.
I will add that NONE of them get allowance and I do NOT buy them stuff very often.
When I was growing up I was the youngest of 4, with 10, 12 and 14 years between me and them. I only had to dry the dishes. That was it. They didn't make me do anything else other than clean my room.