Is 1 to Young to Put in Time Out?

Hi A.,
The "experts" say it's not a good idea at this age, but I say it's no different than a swat. It's a negative consequence to his behavior. I think it's fine, but that's my own personal opinion. He'll learn that when he pulls hair, he has to go to time out, which he doesn't like. I do believe, however, that just as much positive reinforcement as negative is best. That way he's not always in trouble. Hope that makes sense.

Generally, the experts say to use diversion and verbal correction up until 18 mos. old, then time outs can be effective. Good luck!

One seems to be a bit young to understand why, but the seperation and discipline for pulling hair will sink in soon enough. I have five children and 11 grandchildren. I have seen disciplined children and undisciplined children. The diciplined get the message sooner under controled environment. The undisciplined will have all kinds of trouble. In time out is a good discipline.

A....
hey... and the following is my personal opinion and i have a college education in child development.

i do not believe 1 is old enough for time out... and yeah he may understand a little.... but not enough... he is probably sad because he feels isolated and does not understand that what he did resulted in his being placed there...

so what i do with my 16 mo old daughter that i have been doing since she was 9 months old. i tell her "no" and then i began counting to 3 "1" "2" "3".... if she has not stopped what she was doing at 3 i relocate her. The "relocating her is the punishment" .....

so to explain... my daughter's unwanted behavior is undesirable and inconvienent to me.... so i make it inconvienent to her when she ignores me..... she has never cried..... she just goes with it. And i don't make her stay in the place i put her.... she walks away immediately and finds something else to do. I never count to 3 if i can not immediately relocate her or it loses it's effect. I do not raise my voice or anything....
the process is simply....
"Child's name"(to draw attention)
"No"
"1"
"2"
"3" ( i stop counting if she stops the behavior)
at the number 3, i go to her and pick her up and then i place her in another spot... (i.e. she could be opening the t.v. cabinet doors and at 3 i would pick her up and place her in the kitchen or hallway ... just somewhere that she is inconvienced by being there. she then walks away and goes to play something else. occasionlay she reverts back to the undesired behavior and we do it all again.
and now that she is older.. i can tell her more like
"child's name, no, close the door(on the tv cabinet), and then if she doesn't respond... i start counting... of course she now immediately shuts the door and then looks back at me ... sometimes she come running at the number 2 and others she stays there with her hand on the handle just waiting to do it again. And i restart counting everytime her hand touches the handle... and at 3.... she gets moved.
It has made all the difference... and there is no fussing, crying, hurt feelings, poor understanding, damaged self esteem, or feeling like i am being mean. Instead she is happy and so am i.
now when she turn 3 years old we will do time outs in a time out chair and the time will be her age in minutes.
hope this lengthy protocal is helpful to you... and then i would suggest daycare find a desirable protocal that is healthy and age appropriate by consulting professionals in child development.
-mb

A.

I do not know about your daycare but a 1 year old does not know about time out, this is why he started to cry. For time out to be affective first the child needs to be at least 2 or 2 1/2. A 1 year old can be told and shown what not to do. But they can not sit still for 1 minute. Time out is used 1 minute for their age like a 3 year old would be 3 minutes if the child sits still for that time it can be longer because the time does not start until the child sits in the chair and quiet. You can not help the child understand that pulling hair is not nice if you are not with him. If this happens when your son is with you, you can tell him by showing him that hair is not for pulling, by very lightly pulling his hair so that he know that it hurt him. This worked for my daughter when she was little. I am a Pre-k Teacher and have a degree in early childhood eduction and I do know that a 1 year old does not know about time out.
Hope this helps
Hope this helps.

Hi A.! I've been in childcare for many years and I can tell you that beyond a shadow of a doubt, he is to young to understand time-out. In fact, childcare licensing doesn't allow time-outs below two years of age (that's a state regulation). Not to mention that just because "he started crying" doesn't mean that he understood. At his age, if he knows you're mad at him, he's going to cry.

That being said, you're correct...kid's do things wrong. However, at this age, you don't focus on discipline; you focus on guidance. Basically, it's a teacher training issue.

Ok...that was the teacher in me...

As for the mom in me...he has to understand that he has done something wrong. It has to be made clear to him that he hurt someone. Show him what he did...ex..."Look at her, she's crying because you pulled her hair. It hurt her. We don't pull hair." and redirect him to another activity. Remember...address it immediately. If you wait, he forgets that he did something and it loses all effectiveness.

Most importantly....Relax girl...you're doing great and your son is lucky to have you...

Hope this helps!

At 1 he is too young to understand that he is being punished by time out. He cried because he felt rejected and abandoned (psychology words, yes, but true). He only understood he was being left behind. Children of that age will do things like pulling hair - my son did (after being bitten he snatched a few hairs from the biter's head). There was no discipline involved, as I found out after it happened (he was in daycare). The caregivers merely separated the children - they are too young to reason or understand. If he continues to do this then you should consider a form of punishment as he gets older. Otherwise ask your pediatrician. BTW my son is now 26 and a delightful, considerate, successful young man.

Supposedly, the time of the time out should be just about the age of a child. As to pulling a girl's hair, I'm sure the staff told him why he was in the time out. If it's done immediately after the incident, children will understand action/reaction. If it's done much later, then they won't have a clue.

Daycare is a good "social skills" learning area -- if you've found a good one. (It's also a good "get sick and be over it" before school starts.)

Good luck! The future will hold wonderment and awe and frustration, but WOW!!! the ride will be fun!

M.

One is a young age but he needs to start realizying that every action has a result. Time out will separate him from a situation that is not correct and in time he will end up realizong that he has done something not acceptable and why he is in time out.
Children DO need discipline and discipline doesnot mean spanking nor it means physical punishment.

I think it is fine for him to be in time out as long as he doesn't stay long.

Hi A.! I started my daughter with "timeout" stuff when she turned 1. Her daycare provider and I work together on everything, so I took this cue from her and it has worked really well. Since they are too little to "sit still" and don't really get that at all, what has worked wonders for me is placing my daughter in her crib when she throws a tantrum or if she just loses control when she is told "no" or scolded about doing something naughty. My daughter is very sensitive to scoldings, so when she has a melt down after being scolded, I give her a little bit of time to wind up and get it out of her system. If she is still carrying on after a couple of minutes, I take her and place her in her bed and tell her that when she calms down, she can come out to play. If she throws a tantrum, I just immediately put her in her bed with the same lecture on when she calms down, she can come out to play. Sometimes she will continue to throw a fit in her bed for a few minutes, but usually it isn't more than a minute and she has stopped crying and has settled down. That is when I go back into her room and ask her if she has calmed down and is ready to come out and play. She nods her head and off we go. It really works so well. They can throw a fit without hurting themselves. It is a secure environment where they are familiar and happy. One time, my daughter just went to sleep in her bed. I guess that was all from being over tired!! hahaha Try this and see if it works for you. Good luck!

One is not to young. But time outs should only last a minute for each year of the childs age. You should also explain to him why he is in time out. He may not always understand but will know that you were unhappy with his behaviour.

Hope this helps.

This is a good question. The time out chair is good. I would put hin there for 3 minutes the 1st time then work your way to 5. He is only 1 but they are smarter than you think. We as parents hate to see you children hurt but if you start now with your LAW, then he should comply. The secret is consistency ALWAYS!!! Explain yourself to the child "but be brief" and firm then after punishment is over love but reinforce again. Kids do understand fast but they will test you everyday.
I have 3 kids 22,16,11

He may not understand the entire concept but he will begin to understand that when I do something I'm not suppose to be doing I have to sit away from my toys or my friends. From my experience (degree in child and family studies), your child should be in time out one minute for each year so at one he should only be left in time out of one minute. I know it doesn't seem very long but to a one year old it's an eternity. If you leave them any longer then they forget why they are there, what they were taken away from and it defeats the whole purpose. Just my two cents. Hope it helps.

I don't think one is too young for a time out. I would keep it really short though. I didn't do that with my son and he was out of control for a while until we started time out with him. With my daughter, she was just a little older than one when we started with her. My son is three now so, his time out is usually about two minutes depending on what he did to earn it. With my daughter(now 18 months) if she does something she shouldn't such as climb up on the coffeetable. We just tell her no in a firm voice and then place her on the "time out" couch and let her choose when to leave the couch (usually less than 1 minute). If she does the same thing again. We just tell her no again and place her back on the couch. It usually only takes a few times before she stops doing whatever she shouldn't be doing. Consistency seems to be the key.
We have also tried to make the "time out" couch a comfortable place(no toys), but it is a comfortable kids couch placed next to a window where the kids can look outside. We also tell them it is time to calm their bodies down and place them there if they (usually my son) are angry or start hitting each other. In that case we just tell them they can get up once their bodies have calmed down.

We do use redirection as much as possible, but when they are doing something that could harm themselves or others, they have a time out. We also have our children apologize to each other if one has hurt the other one and then the other one says they forgive them. I know our little girl does not completely understand yet, but we are trying to teach them about forgiveness also, and my son is really getting it!
Hope this helps! It has really worked wonders for us.

No. A 1yr old has the understanding of right and wrong in a limited fashion. If the time out is used immediately when the wrong deed is done, then your son should not be confused as to why he is being punished. My daughter was put in time out at that age both by us and at the day care she attended. I also used to work at a day care that used time outs to great effect with the little ones. I hope this helps ease your concerns.
J.

One is too young for a child to understand time out. Crying does not signify understanding. At that age, he should be told "Don't pull Suzie's hair. That hurts her." and then redirected to another activity. Also, the teacher should pay attention to the reason that he pulled her hair. Children, at that age, don't have the verbal skills to handle most social situations. He may have pulled her hair out of frustration, anger or just because he didn't have the words to communicate his wishes to her. In that case, it is important for the adult to model the correct response. For example: "I see that you are angry that Suzie took that toy from you. Let's ask her to give it back to you and wait for her turn." or "I see that you want to play with the toy that Suzie has, let's find something else to play with until it is your turn." I would recommend speaking with the daycare teacher about this. Let her know that you want to work with her and she should be accomodating.

Some may say that 1 is too young to put in 'time out,' but I feel that it depends on the maturity of the child. From your description, his teacher at daycare stated that he was aware of what he had done, and that it was wrong to behave in that manner. By sending him or 'putting him' in time out, you are sending the message that there are consequences for your behavior, which is an important lesson in life. I feel the earlier you begin teaching this lesson, the better person your child will become!

I am definitely no expert but I had the same questions with my 15 month old so I asked her pediatrician at her 15 month check-up last week. She explained to me that at this age they really are not able to connect the punishment to the crime (per say). They don't really understand why they are placed there. She said that connection really isn't made until around the age of 2. She suggested that we just remove and distract and only use the word "no" for harmful situations b/c you want them to hear and recognize the change in your tone and take it seriously. She said that you can overuse the word no and then they don't take it seriously when you really need them to (near the stove, or electrical socket, etc.). Anyway, that's kind of what I'm going by. I'm sure the time out didn't hurt him but in all actuality he probably didn't connect the time out with the hair pulling. You might talk to your pediatrician about discipline and see what his/her opinion is on the issue. Best wishes!

If his teacher took him immediately from pulling the hair with a very simple reprimand, "No pulling hair!" when she sat him aside for time out, he is old enough to understand. A short time out is useful. If he sits there very long, his little mind will have forgotten the incident, and it would do no good.

My pediatrician actually sugggested time out as a discipline measure for my now 16 month old. (That was at his 14 month check-up). She suggested we walk him over to the corner/chair/whereever timeout is and hold his hand and stand there with him for 1 minute. She did that for her three children and it worked well for her and we haven't tried it yet, but plan to when the time arrives (which will be any day now I'm sure!)

A.,
Yes, 1 is too young to be put in time out. I have worked in the area of Early Childhood for over 30 years. Your child's daycare should have a parent handbook that has their discipline policy stated. The point in discipline is to discourage and change behavior. He was not harmed from the time out, but it is not appropriate. He should have been redirected and attention given to the child who had their hair pulled. If I were you, I would check the parent handbook, then talk to the Director about how this will be addressed in the future. The regulations from the Division of Child Care is that a child under 3 should not be placed in time out. Then, it should be 1 minute per year of age.
Hope this helps.
D.

I think we started with our son around 15 months. I'm not sure he completely understood what happened, but it worked in that it startled him from the problem issue and gave ME a few seconds to calm down as well. I just recommend only using it for a few seconds (experts recommend 1 min. per age) at a time. We wait until our son is a little calm, and then calmly explain to him why he is in time out. He has to apologize to get out. It works really well for us. Our son is 2.

Most people far underestimate a children's intelligence. Yes, he is old enough for time out and other forms of discipline also. Start guiding him in the right paths now, and it will pay off.
Here's a story of how smart 1-yr-olds can be. My 1-yr-old would throw his spoon down from the highchair during every meal. I'd tell him "No. Don't throw your spoon," pick it up, wash it off, & give it back. He'd throw it again. This time I slapped his hand and told him "no." He didn't throw again durning THAT meal. After about 3 meals involving the 2nd throw and the hand-slap, he quit throwing it a 2nd time. However, he always threw it once (since that involved only telling him not to.) He was much smarter than I. It took me quite a while to figure out that he had basically decided he got one free throw per meal and made a game of it. Once I realized that, I told him not to throw the spoon when I first gave it to him. I probably had to slap his hand once or twice after that, but he completely quit throwing the spoon.
Even a 1-yr-old can outsmart you in ways you wouldn't believe. And yes, they understand and respond to discipline.

Hi A.,
I have a a 2 1/2 girl and a 3 month old boy. I started putting my daughter in time out when she was one. The first time or two she looked at me like I was nuts, but she caught on real quick. I of course gave her a warning and redirected her first. I agree that you should do that, but if the behavior continued then she was sent to time out. The first few times I stayed very close to her and only left her there for 1 minute. I'm learning that your kids are smarter and understand a lot more than you think. I would put her in time out, then look her in the eye and tell her "mommy put you in time out because.....". Then I gave her a hug and said I love you. Now that she's older she has to say I'm sorry when her time out is over. I think its good to start discipline early to they are aware of boundaries. You have to be consistent though-its the only way it will work. I've tried spanking (lightly) her bottom and her hand when things got really out of hand (like wailing around uncontrollably while changing her diaper or whatever-at age two) and it did not phase her at all-in fact I think it teaches them to hit. Time outs work great for me. Good luck!

As usual you got some good advice. My only addition is IF you do use time out, and you will have to decide when, what and where; the rule of thumb I have seen used and used myself personally and as a pre-school teacher is--- 1 year old, 1 minute; 2 year old 2 minutes; 3 year old 3 minutes. I think The Nanny TV show addresses this. Good luck.

Put him on time out and explain to him why he is there, once he is there, keep him there until his time is up. One is not too young. Start him off early and when he gets to 2 and 3 he will already understand that there are consequences for his actions. Trust me, the "terrible two's" will be easier.

My child was not only in time out at one, but after a few times, he learned that he was to go straight to the corner, calm down, and stay there until the count of 10. It wasn't long before he'd go and count to 10 all by himself. He wasn't a young 1yr old, but I guess he was around 15mths.

At first your son may not completely understand the whole "time-out" concept, but he will catch on quickly. If they (and you) are consistent with this punishment he will learn that pulling hair= time out. Babies are smarter than most people realize. It's just like infants who bite while nursing- if you take them off the breast when they bite, they will learn very quickly not to bite. At 1, your son should only be in time-out for 1 minute.

no he is not too young but he definitly wont stay anywhere long that is why caregiveer usually use that one minute per age thing. My kids wont stay anywhere i put them so my youngest goes into her crib and my oldest sit right next to me for time outs,lol. Hey if it is only time out they are giving him then be thankful. They are not hurting him and he needs to learn not to hurt others as so do the other children =)

I don't think a child is ever really too young to learn cause and effect. We think children don't know, but have you ever really watched a 10-15 month old who does something they have been told over and over again not to do and then all of a sudden, they have that look...you know that look "I am so cute, they don't kow that I know what I did was wrong...grin, grin." Redirecting is always the first step but when the undisired behavior happens again than removing the child from the situation, or as we say "Time Out" is naturally the next step. Best to you and your family. ~JH

A.
No, he is not too young for time out, but only for about 1 minute. Of course he will not really understand TIME OUT, but he will come to understand the chair means you were doing something wrong if you have to sit in it. We did not say the time out chair, It was Gods quiet time chair. I would explain that when you did something you were not suppose to, it was time to talk to God about it, in the Quiet Chair.

Good Luck
S. MIller

I think one is fine for time out as long as he it is explain to him and a way he can understand why he is there. He should have be told that pulling a little girl hair hurt her like when you hit your toe or something like that. He also should have be told what he did was wrong but that he is not a bad kid. He also should have only stand there about 3 minutes or so he is too young to be place there for longer then five minutes.

Age one covers such a wide range of developmental stages that it is hard to generalize a time out for all one year olds. If he is beginning to understand right versus wrong behavior, then a one minute timeout should be okay. I usually favor a timeout based on the age of a child - one minute for one year olds, two minutes for two year olds,etc.
Did the little girl do something to him, take a toy, hit, invade his space,etc. or did it just look like a fun thing to do(pulling her hair)? Sometimes it is better just to speak firmly - 'Don't pull hair" and just remove him from that area to a different play area.

My daughter wasn't to much older than that when we first started time out. He does need to understand simple commands for it to be effective, but if you have boundries in place and he understands "no" and "go sit in your chair" he's probably ready. In the beginning you don't put them in for more than a few seconds (for us she could get up once she stopped throwing a tantrum over being in trouble)and then you ask for hugs and kisses and go back to your day. Always be sure you reiterate why he's in time out and do it immediately after the wrongdoing, or else he'll have no idea what he's being punished for.