Hey Mamas. I have a personal question. My husband started working overnight a little over a month ago so he's on a completely different schedule then our daughter and I. It's been an adjustment but so far we've been doing okay with it. Except when it comes to sex. He starts getting ready to go to work at 8:45pm and our daughter's bedtime is 9. So night time nookie is not happening. When he comes home in the morning it's time for me to get up and get ready for class. I'm home by noon but afternoon/ evening is out of the question because we have a seven year old awake. My question is for other parents who have a spouse with 3rd shift. How do you do it? I mean literally- how do you get time to "do it". LOL We've been okay on the nights he has off but 5 times in 5 weeks is not enough. We struggled with intimacy for a few years and didn't have any physical relationship for a few years up until about 8 months ago so we're back in that newlywed stage again :). But it's proven to be pretty difficult with this new job and schedule. So how do you other ladies (and gentlemen) work it out?
Well, you said that you are getting up when he is coming home. So how much time do you really need? =) Just be all about the quickie for now and save longer love sessions for when you have the time. Good luck!!!
I would probably sit the kids in front of the TV at 8:00 and go take a shower with hubs.
Your noon arrival back home during the school year should allow you guys some time together.
For now, I might see what type of activities (play dates/drop off at Boys or Girls Club, etc) I can line up for the kids during the afternoon so I could get a half hour or so with hubs.
I'm sure you'll figure it out. Where there's a will, there's a way!
It is worked out by any means necessary. Get play dates for the kids, summer camp, a sitter to take them to the park, like others have said.
Be creative and get back into the swing of things. Even if you can take the kids to someplace like the YMCA for a few hours of a break for you or even daytime karate or dance lessons. It would be the perfect opportunity for you and husband to reconnect.
Again be creative and get back to it.
Daytime needs to get back ON the table.
Trade playdates.
Daycamp
While she's at school (if you homeschool, so it's not a summer-only problem... Time to start signing her up for some 2-4 hour classes 1x-5x per week. Don't forget "after school care". The YMCA has GREAT programs; like Kids University that are theme specific for 3 months. You don't have to be in awayschool to take advantage of after school programs. And are sliding scale.)
my husband will be working this shift starting in 2 weeks. He will be leaving around 9:30pm and will be home around 7am. Our kids sleep in until around 8:30 so we think that will be our time. Once school starts (they will both be in school full time), then we will have more time for it. Other than that, we put a movie on for the kids and lock the bedroom and make time for a quickie, lol!
What about getting up earlier and meeting him before you get up for the day? Not every day but sometimes? Take a shower together?
You lay your daughter down earlier, put a movie in, shower with him when he gets ready, you get up a little earlier in the morning so you can send him off to bed happily, hell-you do anything you can! lol
For the most part it only happens on his days off. Unless we get lucky and the kids sleep in, we try to make it last on the days we can lol
I would put your daughter to bed early a few times a week. My husband had that shift and I always had my daughter eating or watching a movie when he woke up at 12. Of course make sure you can hear her and make sure she is safe. I would get up a bit earlier too so you have your nookie time.
what I did was on nights I was willing to wake up for him I would dress sexy for bed, each night he would check on me and if I were dressed right he would wake me up. Sex doesn't have to take forever, 5 to 10 minutes can be just fine when the other choice is none. Since you have to go right after he gets home then try to prep for your morning as much as possible before going to bed, have a portable breakfast that you can eat in the car with no prep.
Good luck!
