Inlaw Problem

The first thing is did you have their permission to make these changes??? And if this was a temporary arrangement I don't get why you spent all the money to home depot to make the changes.

You need to sit down with them and come up with a plan that everyone agrees upon. Such as how long you plan to stay in the home and do they need to put the house back on the market? I would put the plan in writing have everyone sign it and get a copy that way everyone understands what the agreement is.

Good Luck.

I guess that I would have asked first about the renovations first since you are renting/subletting their house. Cause after all- it IS their house still. Usually if a rentee feels there is something that needs to be fixed, they call the landlord and let them know of the problem. Then the landlord fixes it out of their pocket. If you were in a rent to own program with them, it'd be different. Then the aim would be at making it YOUR house. But since you're subletting, I would maybe tell them you weren't aware it'd make a ripple between you two and could you agree that you would pay the bill and just move on from there. If the changes that you did decreased the home in anyway, I'd offere to fix it.

Did you ask them if you could make those changes? I know if i were them, I would probably be angry that you made the changes without first consulting me. As would any person renting a house out. I would talk to them about it, and if things arent going to work out, politly say so, and move on. Sounds like you were both doing each other a favor...so no one is to blame for it not working out. But, making those changes, on credit no less, probably was not something I would have done.

Did you sign any kind of written agreement or was it just verbal? This sounds like it could be a very sticky situation especially if there was no written contract. If they did not specify that you couldn't make any changes to the property, I don't think you did anything wrong. It sounds like you did them a huge favor by taking over the payments since they couldn't make them. That was very nice of you. This saved them from foreclosure and it saved their credit. The renovating you did sounds necessary because you updated the property and made it safer to live in which is a selling point for them also. Based on what you've written, I think both sides could probably call it even especially IF it was cheaper for you to live here despite the costs of repairs and renovations,compared to if you had to rent a place.

Just my thoughts,

MC

I don't think you should feel bad, it was their idea for you to move in in the first place, right. And the house was up for sale too, right. Why should they care what you do to that house, it's not like you damaged the house, you made it better! Were they going to get mad if the house had sold and the people remodeled it, no, so why should they get mad at you? Talk to them and see how they feel, but don't feel bad!

I agree with the others. You were basically renters therefore you should not have invested money into fixing something that was not yours!!! I work for in the foreclosure industry ( for the banks so I understand that your going through a rough patch) but what I don't understand is you already lost your house because you couldn't make your payments, why would you spend money to that you didn't have to fix a house that you didn't own to just be indebt to home depot now. ALSO your inlaws are just as at fault, you all should have had a written agreement reagrding your living arrangement.

Think of it this way. If you rented a house or apartment from a neighbor you would have never done this. why did you take advantage of your in laws hospitality?

hey D.
anytime you deal with family it never good they should be happy that you moved in caught the house up so they could sell it and put new floor down thoe are all thing that make the house worth more if it was me i would start looking for a place of my own and give them notice that you are doing it and they can continue on trying to sell there house in this now selling time...maybe after they make a few double house payment they will feal diff good luck

You helped them out, they helped you out, all is well. Not really. Did they say that you could not renovate? Did you ask? It sounds like you are stuck in the middle and both sides are to blame. Even though the words were spoken between both parties, it was an oral contract. Really, it sounds like what has happened is done, no dark, black lines were drawn, so the best thing to do is sit down with them and try to talk it out, come up with some kind of agreement. Maybe this time, on paper. Everyone makes mistakes and this is how we learn. I wish you luck.

'Should we feel bad?'

What an unusual question. I mean, either you do feel bad or you don't... I don't believe there is any 'should' involved in feelings.

Do you believe they ought to be grateful for the improvements you've made on their house?

The problem here arises from two sets of people with genuine concerns not taking the time up front to establish the contract, and instead relying on assumption, unspoken conditions and expectations (expectations a friend calls 'future planned disappointments)... that you all naturally and automatically agree upon and understand all the same things. Notice how well that works in the average marriage, and then add another couple. Yeah... see - this is just not surprising.

Had you drawn up a contract (about ownership, property rights, improvements, maintenance and anything else any tenant agreement would probably include) you wouldn't be here now. And, now you are here.

I would recommend getting a mediator before your relationship falls apart completely. The mediator should work with each of you separately to find out what all the 'unspoken but definite' terms of the original contract were assumed to be, and then present the group with the results. You will all be shocked to find out how very, very different your opinions on the matter have developed. If you can barely afford it, I would strongly suggest that you pay for the mediator entirely.

By the way, the 15 miles to school is a personal choice that has absolutely nothing to do with this issue. You will find it easier to deal with all issues if you focus on the heart of it rather than extraneous choices you made for your own reasons...

I guess I disagree with the others. I feel if the house was theirs no changes should have been made without their consent, reguardless of no contract--this is family and a verbal agreement should surfice.

It sounds to me like they were letting you live there out of the kindness of their heart--like a rental. Depending on the changes made, it might make it more dificult for your in-laws to sell the property (Becaus I can not see it for my self I don't know what the changes look like). Obviously you have offended them, and I think this should be discussed, and maybe an apology from you is in order.

Or, if the changes are Wonderful, and will make the property easier for them to sell, then they should thank you!

JMO!

D.,

Thank you for the added information, but I'm still a bit confused. Do you and your husband actually OWN the house now or not? Did your in-laws actually sign it over to you? Or did they just say here, you guys take it cause they couldn't handle the payments?

This is a tough situation, especially considering the housing climate here in Michigan. Was there any equity in the home to begin with? If sold, will there be any profit? If they are resentful that you are making money on "their" house, maybe something can be worked out that would be fair to both sides at closing. Some to you and your husband for the work into the home and the payments you made and some for your inlaws for the downpayment and the payments they made.

I would say, without knowing more, that fixing the pipe and making the house liveable was a fair exchange for walking into a home and just picking up the existing payments. No worries about a loan, a downpayment, etc. I know they were losing it, but it must be a tough pill to swallow for them either way thinking about losing money they invested. On the other hand.. if they did not legally sign the home over to you, I would have to ask why you knocked down walls etc. If it was signed to you legally, then any financial reparation you would like to make to your inlaws would be at your discretion to keep peace.

Good luck with everything. I'm sorry that you're in the middle of a difficult situation. I would still like a little more clarification though on who actually owns the home legally and whether anything was discussed when you first took over.

L.

You took over the house and have saved them from foreclosure? Now you want to back out of it and the loan is still in your in-laws name ie: foreclosure.. I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that you have made changes if it is now your responibility, but to try and walk away because you feel they think that it is still their's whenever they are over.. Time to sit down and explain the issues like adults and see what type of resolution you can come up with

I hope you kept the bills for the improvements you made. If these people have a problem with what you've done, agree to vacate as soon as they've reimbursed you. It was probably going a step too far by knocking out a wall. Unless they said it was okay. But you've probably added value to the house.
That could be a good or bad thing, in Michigan. Maybe their idea was to sell it as is, warts and all, just to sell it and get something for it. Improvements made it a better place to move in, but upped the selling value too, which might not work in anyone's favor for a while.
Still, you voiced your concerns and they put them to rest. Did they agree to improvements? Maybe they think you went beyond what they believed to be an agreement. They said you could stay there, not make it livable. You did them a favor by getting it caught up in payments. They should have no complaints.
But there is the old advice that warns against borrowing from a family member or stuff like that. This would fit. Not from friends or family, because there are no set guidelines, legally. And feelings get bruised.

This doesn't make any sense to me. Why would you put so much into a house that isn't yours, especially if they didn't ask you to? If you were renting to eventually buy, that's a different situation altogether. Fixing a smell should have been their responsibility as the "landlords."

I wouldn't say that you owe them anything, you upgraded their house. At the same time, they don't owe you anything because it sounds like you invested this money by your own choice. If, for some reason, a potential buyer doesn't like what you did and writes into the agreement that they want it fixed, you might be asked to fork out more. I would be angry if I let someone move into my house and they made MAJOR changes without asking me. Whether I am selling it or not, it's MINE.

This whole situation really doesn't make any sense to me. I would start looking for your own place and just start over. Find a place where you are comfortable and that feels like (and is) yours.