Information on Disiplining Head Strong 4 Year Old

is one of the 'tried everythings' threatening to take away something for the consequences of her actions?
my son isn't as old. he'll be 3 in january.. i tried the time outs and they worked at first. but now we use taking something away. taht has to do with the circumstances. like, if he is not playing nicely with is sister, we tell him the toy gets taken away if he continues. it's best if it's a threat that you can and will actually follow t hru with. if you are out shopping, and they act up,, don't use 'you'll go out to the car' one.. haha i've heard a parent say that once in a store..hahaa
my son usually acts up when we are trying to get ready to go someone. what usually works is 'get over here and get your coat on or we are not going'.. or 'you don't get to play with your such and such on the drive if you don't get your coat on'.. it's sometimes hard to think of something that is appropriate for the timing, at first. but it starts clicking after doing a while.. good luck,,
that's all i have.. not sure if that helped :-)

I have a five year old that is starting to do the same thing. Talking back, telling us no etc. We've tried time outs and they don't work. We've taken toys away but that doesn't work either. My mother suggested that when an active boy starts acting up you should make him go outside and run a few laps around the house to wear off the energy. (This works as a punishment when he is running around the house inside!) They have a ribbon program at school. Every time they act up a ribbon is pulled and each one has a consequence. We are just now starting this program at home as well. However, we are doing on a week basis instead of daily. He can earn back the ribbons with good behavior or have them pulled for bad behavior. Each one has a consequence and if he has a blue ribbon at the end of the week (Blue being good and red being the worst) then I'll purchase a small toy or we'll do something special that he wants.

You right that consistency is best. we really have very few melt downs but when we do. I sometimes find that if w/o saying anything (using a signal) everyone else quickly exits the room. Wait for the calming factor, usually only a minute or two. She'll either run after you or sit and stop screaming. If she runs after you, then the problem may be more with she doesn't feel she's gotten adequate attention. If she sits down, and quiets, then go back and briefly tell her the timer is starting. Sometimes we find that our son just gets overwhelmed with everything that happening around him. and he'll just lay/sit down.

A.,
You are so right about consistency. Our twin are only 16 months old and I'm not looking forward to the screaming stage. Two books I've read or heard about that have good ideas are How to Have the Happiest Toddler on the Block and How To Talk So Children Will Listen and How to Listen So Children Will Talk. (The second title might be reversed- it's been a while since I read it.) I'm sure you are already catching him when he does listen well and making a big deal out of it. I know it's hard to do that when you are busy with the other kids but I always found it made a big difference when I was teaching if I was able to give more positives than corrections. Best of Luck!

I think that you have the right idea, consistancy is best. Have you tried taking away toys for a week at a time or have you sent her to her room to sit on her bed and think about what she did wrong? She is getting old enough to know right from wrong and the punishment can be more severe if needed. Good Luck
A.

I understand your pain... I have a 4 year old and a one year old. She is the same way. My boyfriend's mom says the same thing she just needs consistancy, but it's not always that easy. With our last episode she was sent to her chair for four minutes (a minute for each year), when this didn't work she got a small swat on the butt and was sent to her room. When we send her to her room she has to sit on her bed and not play with any toys. It seemed to work. I think a big part of all of this is that they are just craving attention because of the other children. I try to take time out for just her. We will bake cookies, go to a movie, the park, whatever. It seems to help. My aunt and uncle have tried this as well, they have three kids. Each week one of them gets to go alone with their dad to some where of their choice. I'm still learning this is the best I have done so far. If you find anything more effective, let me know :) Good Luck!