Infertility Treatments

I do hope everything works out for you, but there certainly are other options. Have you thought about adoption? I adopted a beautiful little girl from China over three years ago and it has been such a wonderful experience. There are so many children that need homes and there is more than one way to make a family.

Hi C.,
I went through one round of AI that was unsuccessful. Then I did one round of InVitro that was successful (my son is 13 months old). I don't have any advice for you at this time...just wanted to wish you the best of luck!
J.

Hi C.....I was in a similar place two years ago. YOu should consider joining RESOLVE - they have a fairly active infertility support group here in Chicago.

Have you tried to see a chiropractor,I know one that has had great success in helping women that are having trouble getting pregnant.Something you might want to check into.

C.,
I sympothize with you. I agree with the others, check out one of the support group sites. I was with Resolve.org. I know you like your dr but you may want to consider a second opinion. I went through IVF. First 3 were failures, then went to a new dr who seems to know my circumstances. I was blessed with a boy on his first attempt. Since that, I have had 5 other IVF's and 3 boys (two of which are twins). Keep up the hope!

C.,

I am so sorry you have having troubles. Have you found a medical reason why things aren't happening? You and he are both okay? If you are both okay, hormones are okay, egg numbers are okay, sperm are okay, then relax. I know it may seem like the last thing you want to hear, but many times, stress hampers this. We have two friends, one who tried for YEARS and finally adopted to find out a year later she was pregnant. No help, no nothing, a perfect pregnancy. So, now she has Tess and Tanner. A miracle or just timing? SHe is probably forty. And, another who adopted a chinese baby and was getting ready to go get her and found out she was pg. A miracle, or less stress. THey had other things to keep their minds busy, so they quit worrying about it. Do yoga, walk, read, relax however you relax. Tell yourself every day that your body is able to make a baby and ask god for that gift, but give yourself some time. It's not over yet.

Stay strong, and try to just be you for a while, try to relax. Praying for you.

I am now 60 and the mother of two young ladies 18 and 19.
(so, you have time)
I took fertility treatments in the early 80's. In vitro, etal was very new then, so I was going through insemination by donor. The entire process of temperature taking, "failures" took its toll on me. I would caution both you and your husband against getting too hooked on the process. The most imoportant thing is that you have eachother and this stuff can really pul a good relationship apart. After 18 months of treatment, more agressive measures were suggested. I declined as my marriage was already shaky. I did meet women on my cycle in the waiting room monthly and for some, this had become their whole life. I did not want to lose myself in the treatment or continue to beat myself up for "Failing" to conceive. I was told that without further treatment, I would not be able to become pregnant. I walked away and resolved the fact that I would not have children.
About 10 years later I remarried and became pregnant on my honeymoon!
I do not suggest that this is the answer. Only you and your husband can decide. However, loving what is rather than longing for what we do not have makes for a happier life. I do understand where you are coming from and I wish you the very best.
A. G.

hi C.. my husband and i went through three rounds of clomid, three rounds IUI using clomid, three rounds of IUI using injectables, and 4 rounds of IVF. our first IVF was a fresh cycle and i miscarried, very early. the 2nd and 3rd were from frozen eggs. our 4th was fresh and a success! we have two 18 month-old beautiful baby girls. it is a rough road and can be emotionally draining, but it is totally worth it. one thing i would recommend is pairing acupuncture with your western medical treatment. that is the only thing that was different in our successful IVF attempt, so i'm a huge proponent now. hang in there. i know how you're feeling, but try to stay positive and hopeful. it can happen at any time! :)

It breaks my heart that loving, wonderful people have to go through so much to have a baby.
I am a part of a messageboard that has a board devoted to women having trouble trying to concieve. These women could give you wonderful support and advice. Here is the direct link to the T-TTC webpage:
http://boards.thenest.com/boards/ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=425
The main webpage name is: www.thenestbaby.com

You have to be a member to post questions, but you can view the posts at any time. There is no fee to join but there is a three day wait period to make a post once you have become a member. I hope these ladies can help you as they can relate to what you are going through.

First of all, I did not go through what you are going through but I did miscarry late in pregnancy and I know a little bit about loss from that. I don't have any words of wisdom like so many others have shared but I did want to lend my support and pat on the back to you and everyone else having gone through infertility issues. You all are AMAZING, strong and may G-d bless you.

I also wanted to share that sometimes accupunture can heaighten your fertility and I actually had a treatment done and got pregnant. Happened for others I know too. Good luck and hugs and kisses. Hopefully it'll happen soon.

Hi C.,

There is a WONDERFUL place that gives you the peace, strength, and support to continue on this journey. It is called "Pulling Down the Moon". Tami and Beth, the cofounders, have created a beautiful, peaceful space and offer yoga classes specifically for women enduring infertility treatments, as well as many other wonderful offerings such as a clearing ceremony, which helps to deal with miscarriages and feelings of loss. They also offer acupunture, massage, and are linked up with Fertility Centers of Illinois. They support you through your fertility process and work with your medical doctors. I went to their classes and did the acupunture for a year. Although I sadly did not manage a pregnancy while I was there, I gained so much emotionally and spiritually. I found a way to move pass a late pregnancy loss (at 18 weeks) and 2 other miscarriages, and also to deal with my feelings of lack of control and loss at not being able to achieve another successful pregnancy. And I made some great friends, some of whom went on to have babies and others who have not. If you haven't checked them out yet, please do. The website is www.pullingdownthemoon.com. Good luck!

Your feelings are totally normal. Going thru infertility treatments is very very stressful...especially when it doesn't work the first time (or the second, etc...).

Knowing now, what I didn't know back when I was going thru IF treatments, I would say to be fairly aggressive w/your treatment. You didn't say if you are being treated by an RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) or if you are being treated by an OB/GYN. If you are NOT being treated by an RE, then you need to see one ASAP. You said you are in your late 30's, so you need to get moving quickly, since between the ages of 35 & 40, infertility takes a slow, but steady decline. At 40, it's like jumping off a cliff.

Illinois is one of only a handful of states that has mandated IF insurance coverage. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, so I'm hoping that your insurance is one of the ones that covers it. Like another poster wrote, you get a max of 4 IVF tries (less if you are successful on try #1). Because of the insurance coverage in our state, there are a lot of IF places around. Check their stats on the CDC website (the stats lag by a few years, but it should still give you some idea of the success rates). Also, different clinics (and different REs) specialize in different areas of IF. Because stats can "lie", you need to really analyze those stats to get closer to the truth.

A little about me: got married at 40, and immediately tried to get pg. No luck. At 41, moved directly to IVF. I made no eggs and was cancelled on Day 10 of stims. RE #1 (I ended up having 3 different REs/clinics) said it was "over for me". Said adoption or donor egg was my only choice at that point. I was devastated, and crawled into a dark hole for several months. Saw RE #2 who discovered a large mass on my tube/ovary. Had that removed on my 42nd birthday (happy birthday to me!). I decided the next day that I was moving on....to donor eggs. That process is not quick, and it is very expensive, even with insurance coverage. Found RE #3, who had the best DE stats in the entire state. Long story short, I found out I was pg one day before my 43rd birthday (first DE attempt!). Gave birth to a perfect little boy 9 months later. I could not love him any more. He is 100% mine, and truly the greatest gift I have ever received.

Good Luck! I wish you much success.

Unfortuantly this is all too familar to me. We went through two rounds of clomid and Artfical. I am not sure if they told you or not that there is like a 10% chance with this procedure and at $1,500 a pop that is really not great odds. We went the IVF route and got pregant on the first try. We were lucky though. I was 34 when I had my son. We are going the same route with hopefully child #2. I see a great doctor that has an office in Crystal Lake and Gurnee. It is more emotional than physical. It truly is a roller coaster ride. If you need the Dr's name or have any questions feel free to e-mail me. Good Luck

3 years of treatment. 1 miscarriage. Lots stress and loss of hope, but we finally got pregnant in June 2006. I, along with so many other posters here, am proof that with patience and perserverance it can happen.

Hang in there and try to remain positive. The anxiety and stress trigger chemical changes in your body that could interfere with the process.

Oh yes, believe it or not, you are not alone! There are plenty of us out here who have been thru what you're going thru, and more. It took us 3 1/2 years & finally 2 IVFs before we got our twins (now 16 months old). (We even had to switch fertility doctors after 1 yr because I discovered he was improperly billing HMO patients, and I got him thrown out of the HMO! Then we had to start all over with a new dr & new tests! Very frustrating!) In the end, they were definitely worth all of it! I would recommend looking into acupuncture and/or yoga for fertility. I did both the few months before we got pregnant. (And my husband went with to yoga!) I can't swear whether either one really helped us with the actual fertility, but they definitely helped me relax and de-stress. I don't know how far it is from you, but check out www.pullingdownthemoon.com. Ask your doctor too, because they should know of support groups for others going thru what you're going thru right now. Hang in there, and good luck!

My husband and I tried for three years ~ three insems and one in vitro and believe it or not, we decided to take a break due to my husband having neck surgery and we got pregnant on our own! This was in April, 2004 and in November, 2003 I had laparascopy to remove a tumor that was found in my uterus and during that they also found I had Stage 4 Endometriosis, which they cleared out. I did do the in vitro after that with no success, but then got pregnant two months after the in vitro. So, I definitely know all that you are going through and I can tell you it did take a toll on both of us individually as well as on our marriage. The best advice I can give you is to make sure that you take some time for YOU during all this. I remember that I really didn't take the time to relax or do anything for myself and I let the infertility consume my every thought. I remember feeling like I was also going to jump out of my skin and was so irritable and very depressed. I think if I would've taken time to do some things for myself, I would have been much better off. I realize that now, but at the time I was just so obssessed with getting pregnant. Please know that you are not alone and try to stay positive. Lot of hugs to you!! :-)

http://boards.babycenter.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?webtag=bcus...

http://forums.fertilitycommunity.com/general-infertility-...

these are both awesome places to go and you can just read or you can write in and participate

Hi C., This is my first time on Mamasource too. I am studying to be a Natural Dr. and the Dr. I see now is a Natural one. She states that the reason most people have a hard time getting pregnant naturally is that their Bodies are toxic. I suggest a detox program. I asking you to be open minded and realize that this is only to help you realize that there is another reason why you are not getting pregnant naturally. My sister in law did Ivf and my nephew has multiple health issues and attends a special school. He cannot talk or eat properly. Please do not get offended, That is not my intention. Wouldn't it be great though, to get pregnant naturally without all those drugs?

I cannot tell you how happy I was to see your post. Not because of what you are going through, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but because I can absolutely relate. I have been trying to get pregnant with my husband for almost three years. I was in a relationship before that where I tried for six years (no medical assistance, just old-fashioned trying). I have been through the ups and downs of trying drugs, not being able to try better drugs because of insurance, getting new insurance that will cover drugs, having to fight with the insurance company to covers the correct quantity of drugs, and finally being able to proceed with a plan. I recently (02/13) had my first round of IUI, now here I sit waiting until Friday (02/29) until I can do a pregnancy test. This has been one of the longest months of my life. I find it hard to hold on to the belief that when it's right, I will get pregnant. Like you, I like my doctor's office, and they do offer counseling, but I do wish they would have a list of patients that would like to talk to each other. Maybe we need to start our own group? :-)

Hi C. - my husband and I are not able to conceive on our own. After a brief and unsuccessful stint with Clomid through my OB, we went straight to a fertility Dr and went straight to IVF. We were successful on our first attempt - we were so lucky and we have an awesome son as a result. After our son turned 2 we decided to try for another, and this second attempt was unsuccessful. I was crushed. We decided to try one more time and right now I'm 28 weeks pregnant - again, I feel very fortunate (even though part of me won't totally relax until that baby is born and healthy!). I can completely relate to the anxiety you are experiencing, starting with the overall anxiety of whether or not you'll be able to have a baby at all, down to the daily anxiety you feel about everything when you're in a fertility cycle. All I can say is you have to take it day by day. When we started on the third try, my husband and I had a good conversation about what would happen if we were unsuccessful - would we stop trying IVF (we said yes to stopping based upon our RE's advice, since I'm almost 40) and would we adopt? We decided we would try to adopt for sure. Having a "plan B" was very, very helpful. Also I agree with what someone else wrote about finding the right Dr., for us we learned we needed an RE who was straightforward and aggressive with treatment. I loved our RE and having a Dr you are comfortable with helps a great deal. I wish you the best of luck!

Hi C.. I am a WAH mom and I run a home daycare. I also went through infertility treatments, shots, ultrasounds, minor surgeries and five failed inseminations. We had gotten to a point that the only thing left to do was IVF and emotionally, I had nothing left in me. My husband and I decided to take a break (when we were ready...all those well meaning people don't understand that to stop trying for awhile and take a break would be equivalant to not breathing. When you want a child that badly, the want only gets bigger as time goes on...at least for me it did.) What finally did it for us was that we did stop everything and focused on possible adoption. (We had been trying for about 3 yrs and I did have some medical conditions that contributed, but nothing that should have prevented pregnancy altogether.) We went to meetings, sent out multiple letters to lawyers and agencies and did lots of research. About a month later, I was pregnant w/ my daughter (who is now 9) and when she was 6 months old, I got pregnant w/ my son. Hang in there and don't give up. Keep doing what your doctors advise and what you feel emotionally ready to handle. If you feel ready to take a break, do that...I know many people who have conceived when they weren't trying anymore! Best of luck...you will be in my thoughts.

You are not alone. If you are looking for support or people to talk to look into RESOLVE.org it has a lot of great resources and support groups. Know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. After hitting the wall on treatments we moved onto adoption and have 2 great boys, we don't regret trying, but we also don't regret not having our own biological child.

Good luck.

I know exactly how you feel!!! I went through many insems and had fibroid surgery and my tubes washed before finally getting pregnant, get this, at home! What an emotional rollercoaster. LOL Everything you're going through will fade with time. Think of it this way, few people would have the inner strength to go through what you're going through right now. My son is a year old now and he is worth every minute of infertility treatment. But, I got myself through the rough spots by making a list of things that would be positive if I was not able to become pregnant. It helped. For example, imagine a life with lots of free time, no stretch marks, a clean house, more money for vacations, lots of sleep... That helped me relax and realize that a life without children would be a happy one too. Best of luck, I hope you get pregant this time around.

Is kind of hard to talk about such situation in public. I was in the same situation not too long ago. If you can send me your email.
Thanks,
T. B.

I see you have gotten a lot of input. I did not go through insemination, but did have surgery and a multitude of tests. I belonged to Resolve go to www.resolve.org and found it extremely informative. They may have a support group in your area.

Good luck

I have a relative that couldn't have kids because a burst appendix caused scarring on her fallapian tubes. Her tubes seeped for years from infection and scarring. When she got married, they tried invitro. But it didn't work. It wasn't until she went to some other doctor that he told her that with her tubes seeping constantly invitro/implantation would never work. He cauterized her tubes and then she went through in-vitro again. She just gave birth to twins.

I'm thinking since you like your doctor he did all the exploratory measures necesary to determine why you can't have kids. My relative loved her doctor too and would have never gone to another doctor if her insurance hadn't changed. She would still not have kids today if she hadn't seen another doctor. He might be great but maybe you need a second opinion as to why it is not working.

Then if that doesn't pan out, then maybe God has you in mind for adoption. There might be a child out there that needs you and just you...

God Bless and Good luck!

C., Keep the faith and I will be praying for you and your husband.

I know exactly how you feel but late thirties is still quite young. There are so many options today that one of the options will eventually work out for you. I started my family after 40. I am now 42 and pregnant again through insemination with my second. The hard part about fertility treatment is that you are painfully aware of each step. Normally about three quarters of fertilized embryos are not quite right and that is for everyone even young people. These embryos usually do not implant or if they do they arrest quite early and a miscarriage follows. Most people don't notice this at all but when you do fertility treatment you are watching so hard that you do. It is partly a numbers game. One of the fertilized embryos will be good and will then grow to be a baby. It is very very normal for it to take several maybe even 6 or 7 attempts with insemination. Maybe you are on a natural cycle at present, your doc can try to add a little drug juice to get more follicles to grow as a next step. Then there is IVF, egg donation, embryo donation. If none of those works, there is also adoption. If you really want a child, you will have a child and he or she will be so precious to you as you will have tried so hard. I look at my little sweetie and hardly remember all the trying and the injections. She has been so worth all the effort. It is hard to relax about this but some time in the future, you will look back at this time and hardly remember the worry and all the pain you went through to have your own little sweetie. The very best things in life are sometimes really hard but believe in yourself. if you want a child you will by hook or by crook be successful. The very best of luck to you.

We went through the same thing...Chlomid alone (2 times), Clomid with IUI(4 times) Then found a new fertility DR and went through the injections with IUI. It took 2 times, and I now have 5 year old twins! I know so many people that were just about to give up, and they got pregnant. Don't give up on your dream just yet!!! I was 37 when I had my twins. Have faith that your Dr will figure out the cause of your infertility. I ovulate on day 8 or 9 of my 28 day cycle. I even ovulated over the drug that was supposed to keep me from ovulating too soon! There are alot of people out there with your dilemma. You just don't meet them while you are in the process. Good Luck, and stay positive. Say...this is the month!!!
C.

Hi C.,
There isn't much more I can add in terms of support, the ladies have listed the same I would have. I had 1 year of treatment (3 months of clomid, 3 months of injectables, three months of IUI, three months of IUI with injectables and then got pg on my first IVF attempt). I completely relate to you - I was terrified to do IVF, because in my mind it was the last stop on the road - but it did work! When my oldest was 2, we tried again (we'd been trying on our own with no luck). Our doc advised us to go straight to IVF again, but again I was scared because I knew I had limited chances - and I think every one on this board can relate to those crappy calls saying "sorry, it didn't work this month."!! We did another IUI with no luck, so took the docs advice and did IVF. Transferred 3, and got pg with twins! They are now 2 1/2 and great. And to add to that craziness, when the twins were 3 months old I found out I was pg again - on my own this time! I tell you all of this to say have hope, have faith, and I know it isn't easy all those months. I never understood "why me," but with so many friends and family going through it, I now believe I was brought through it so I can share my experiences with them. Best to you, I will say a prayer for all the ladies on this thread...

C.,

I certainly hear the pain that you are going though. I have worked in the adoption profession (both domestic infant and international) for the last 12 years, and I hear about the struggles my families have gone through before coming to me to adopt a child. I sincerely wish you all the best in your endevours to concieve a child, but please know, that your chance at motherhood does not have to end with fertility treatments. There are so many children/babies who need good parents to adopt them. I have seen for myself the transfermation that families go through when they decide to build their family through adoption. My brother and his wife struggled to become pregnant for 8 years. When they finally decided to end fertility treatments I talked to them about the joys of adoption. They adopted their daughter nearly 4 years ago, and I can't believe how much she has transformed their lives...One of my dearest friends who is a fertility specialist doctor adopted both of her children as infants. One daughter is 19 months and the other one just turned a month old. I can tell you first hand that she couldn't love her children more then if she had given birth to them herself. She is just crazy about those girls and does everything for them! There are a lot of myths, fears, and misconceptions out there about adoption.

C., I truely wish you the very best in your pursuit to build your family. Just know that you can become a mother! If you ever decide that adoption is something that you would like to explore further, I would be more than happy to talk to you about it.

Best Wishes,

J.

My husband and I did infertility too. We never got to the IVF phase, however we did 4 rounds of insem, with me taking injectables. I now how hard it is, and I feel for you. My husband had to come to my work once to give me an injections because based on some test we did that day it had to be done right away. On the 4th insem, I requested we do back to back insems. One on the day they said, and one the next. The Dr. didn't agree with my desires and thought it wouldn't make a differance, however we did it anyways. Needless to say my 10 month old twins are in their rooms protesting their morning nap. We got pregant that try and according to ultrasouds, my daughter was conceived 2 days after my son, it makes me wonder if the double insem, make that possible. Talk to your Dr. and see if he will do that. I wish you the best of luck, and try to stay strong, I know it is not easy, it was one of the hardest things I ever went through.

Hi Candance,

All three of my kids were conceived through fertility treatments, and I am currently pregnant with my 4th, conceived again through Follistim and IUI. With my first, I went through 4 round of Clomid with IUI, and it never worked, so I know how you feel. It is a very stressful time. Have you talked to your doctor about more aggressive meds? I got pregnant with my first on the first round of injectibles, my second on the second round, and my third and fourth on the first round. For me, Clomid wasn't producing enough follicles apparently. Oh, and I got pregnant with my first at 34, and I am 40 now, so age wasn't that much of a factor for me. Talk to your doctor about more aggressive treatments - I would strongly recommend the injectible drugs and if that doesn't work - IVF. You still have a lot of options, so try not to worry, I bet it will happen for you soon! Good luck, and if you need to talk more feel free to PM me!

My husband and I tried for our third baby for about 1.5 years before going to an Infertility doc. I had surgery in December and I am now 9 weeks pregnant, so it does come to an end.

Remember that it takes the average person 6 months to get pregnant, and a person with less fertility about a year-- that's 6-12 tries. You chances of getting pregnant with IUI/IVF are actually BETTER than any given cycle of trying the "old fashioned way" so take heart that after two attempts you are still ahead of where many people trying on their own would be AND your chances of getting pregnant soon are better than their's.

I know how hard it is to be disappointed each month. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself and getting plenty of chances to talk it out. Consider massage, acupuncture, yoga for fertility, etc.

Check into if your doctor has a support group in the office or if there is one in the area. I bet there is and you could find some great support there. Best wishes for the future.

C.
I know exactly how you feel. While trying to have my son, I was getting so discouraged. It took 5 IUI's for us to concieve.
We are currently trying for number 2, this time we moved to IVF. Our insurance only covers 4 tries. 1st cycle resulted in a miscarriage, 2nd didnt work and I just found out #3 did not work. So now I am scared to death that I will never have a 2nd child. What has really helped me is different message boards, Sharing my feelings with other women going through the same thing.

Here is one just for IUI:
http://forums.fertilitycommunity.com/intrauterine-insemin...

But there are alot of boards out there. Just do a web search.
Good Luck to you and if you have any further questions feel free to send me a private message.

After the birth of my son, we could not conceive again. We went through three failed in-vitro attempts and were in the process of using my sister as an egg donor. During this process my body was put into a menopausal state at the same time my sister was doing the egg production for the removal of her eggs. On the day she and I were to begin taking hormones to prepare for the transfer I found out I was pregnant. A miracle. My message is to pursue your dream and never give up in that God works miracles everyday. Subsequently, 2 years later I became pregnant with my daughter. Three children, all from God.

Hi C.,
I have not personally had to go through what you are dealing with...quite the opposite, but I have several friends who have. I have a friend who is a chiropractor and she deals mainly with women, children and nutrition. Two years ago, my husband had cancer and had to undergo chemo...meanwhile, he took a bunch of supplements. We had 3 children and weren't planning anymore, so when they told us he would be sterile, it wasn't as hard. Once he finished treatments we both went through a 3 week "cleanse" that was 3 different gentle supplements and a dietary change. At the end of the cleanse I realized I was "late" and found out that I was pregnant! The doctors couldn't believe it...mainly because my husband should have been sterile (we believe the supplements helped support his system so much that it didn't damage the good stuff!) and I was on the pill! After this, a few of my friends who had trouble conceiving (one was 38) tried the cleanse. They both found that their hormone levels were very unbalanced in the beginning. My one friend who is 38 was just getting ready for her first round of insemination...they told her most often it doesn't take the first time. After round one she got pregnant with twins! My other friend is due to give birth to her second child next month. Many doctors don't believe in nutrition and supplements...mainly because they can give you drugs instead. Drugs have side effects and aren't always reliable. I know in your case it is very important to you that this work. Your body is designed to work a certain way. If you can get your hormone levels on track, I am sure the insemination will take. There are many chemicals in our society that make your hormone levels change...and some of those levels cause our bodies to reject a stable pregancy...or even implantation or insemination. I think talking with someone who knows a lot about nutrition could really get you off on the right foot.

Meanwhile...my husband who should have been sterile after chemo just had his second vasectomy...the first one didn't take! Believe me...supplements work!

Good luck!

This is my first time on mamasource also! I feel for you.... it took my husband and I two years to get pregnant and we had a beautiful baby girl in December! For us the biggest hurdle to overcome was to find out WHY we weren't getting pregnant (which is easier said than done). Once we had a clear answer our reproductive endocrinologist suggested IVF right away. We went to Fertility Centers of Illinois. Yes, it is a bit of an assembly line, but you can't deny their results. They have so much experience and really have their stuff together. After one attempt we were pregnant! (other doctors were willing to try Clomid, etc. without even knowing the problem!) Hang in there! Infertility can be emotionally and financially draining. I shed many tears over wanting to become pregnant and even more when it didn't happen right away. Stay strong! You are by no means at the end of the road b/c there's still so many options out there for you!

I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. As a "Fertility Mom" myself, I know how hard it is to have such a desire to be a mom and not be able to as easily as it seems others can.

If it helps any, I know quite a few women who have had to go through fertility on one level or another. One just needed Chlomid for a few rounds. I needed Chlomid for a few rounds and an Intrauterine Insemination. Others I know had to go through IVF multiple times after multiple failed attempts at the Chlomid/IUI route. All of us have children now. I can't say it ALWAYS turns out a pregnancy happens, but I've seen it happen. One woman I know was in menopause at 30 yrs old and went through a great deal of meds and procedures before an IVF attempt finally worked.

What helped my husband and I is a bit of a plan. We knew where we would draw the line for ourselves and start considering adoption. For us, the four attempts our insurance gave us to do the IUI procedures was where we would stop. For US (and EVERYone is different) we didn't want to deal with IVF and all the questions with that..."What do we do with the frozen embryos" questions. And we knew we didn't want multiples so we didn't want to implant more than two or three embryos, which didn't give us a huge chance at pregnancy (but definately possible!!). It felt good having that plan of action, knowing that we were prepared to accept not necessarily having our own children at the end of four rounds. It calmed us, to be honest, and gave us a sense of control over our future family.

It IS hard. Every pregnant woman I saw was an instant "enemy". I was filled with envy at every new mom I saw. When I heard of a baby abandoned on the news I burst into tears and cried out, "THAT woman had a baby and I can't!?!" It all seemed so unfair.

Hang in there. I know that sounds like torture, and sometimes it is I'm sure, but do your best to stay positive no matter what the outcome may be. Remind yourself that you will be a wonderful mother...and remind yourself that sometimes the best mothers are to children whose mothers can't take care them for whatever reason.

Good Luck.....

Hi C.,
I was told that I could not get Pg naturally, so we went the insem route. I did it 3 times with no luck! I decided to take the matter into my own hands and go the natural route. diet, excerise & acpuncture. Not sure if you are familiar with acpuncture, but it has helped many women I know as well as myself. You can work with the Dr. during the insem process to help your odds. Not sure where you live, but Dr. Young has a office in the loop as well as Glenview. Her # is ###-###-####. Like i said she has helped soooo many women I know get pg. It took me 3 months with her treatment , and now I have a healthy 17 month little boy. Good LUCK and STAY CALM!

I went though 4 years of treatments before success, so I can empathize. I had over 6 rounds of IUIs, meds, surgery, etc none worked. My second Invitro worked and I now have a wonderful 4 year old. My advice is to stay focused and try not to lose faith that this will work. My meds you take do horribel thing to your personality, it is very common to feel out of control.
Check out resolve.org It is a great source of info and fellowship. The women on those b. boards helped me through my darkest hours.
You are in my prayers. J.

third time was the charm for us.....with both of our boys!
good luck

Candance,
I am new here too. I did not go the rout of insemination (do to the money involved) but we did try for 13 yrs with all the rest of the treatments that were available at the time. We gave up when I was 32 thinking because of age and I felt the same as you that it was just not meant to be for us and that we would look forward and maybe adopt. Don't get me wrong we didn't stop trying at least not in my head (still wishing and taking a pt test every time I missed a period and hopping) but left it alone from a chemical point (meds and stuff). We just stop trying so hard. At age 37 we were just going on with our life's as just a married couple and bam I became pregnant. I really didn't even know it till I was almost 15 weeks. I had lost a lot weight but was still hormone challenged (what I call my condition)with late or no periods (at times) which has been the problem all along. But it finally happened. I had a easy wonderful pregnancy (with no complications at all) and had a beautiful bright baby boy (who is 4 1/2 now). So I guess my biggest point to you is don't worry about the age. More and more woman out there are having later pregnancies (I did have a ultrasound more often but I didn't mind as I got to see him more). There are certainly more risks but they are worth it. Also right now you are discouraged but if and when you become a mom let me tell you it will be all worth it, all of it. The hard time will just become part of your personal journey to mother hood. Either by birth or maybe adoption. See I feel if you go threw so much with trying it is the same as giving birth and spending those 9 months when you adopt. So keep your mind and hart open to life's possibilities and what is meant for you will happen. If you would like to know more about my story email me privet and I will tell it in more detail.

What about ivf? I passed all the other infertility treatments and since I had great insurance my specialist stated to go right to ivf. After 2 attempts we have twins... and were blessed with getting pregnant another time with no fertility treatments. Good luck!

I did 6 months of treatments. I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility- everything looked fine, but I just wasn't getting pregnant.

I did 4 or 5 rounds of clomid. Each time I had at least 2 follicles, and everything looked hopeful. We started inseminations at the second try. They were very painful for me, but I made it through. With every new try, I felt worse and worse emotionally and physically. I started to get very bloated and tender from the clomid. I felt so tender that it was hard to have sex.

We took one month off and consulted with the specialist. Our next avenue was injectibles (Follistem). Follistem is basically clomid, but a purer form. The doc told me I might get better quality eggs with this drug.

It was a bit scary to give myself a shot, but I got over it. It was pretty easy to do, and the needles were so small that they didn't hurt. Also, we were nearing the end of what we were willing to try, so I was resigned to failure, especially when I didn't feel like I ovulated with this cycle.

Luckily for us, Follistem did the trick. One round, and I was pregnant. We were also lucky that our insurance paid for everything, which definitely took off some pressure.

It's been 2 years since I went through all this, and it's hard for me to remember (thank goodness). We tried for a total of 2 and a half years. I got pregnant 18 months into it, and miscarried, which was the worst thing I've ever been through. After that, the tears flowed like never before. Each period was a crushing blow. My husband felt helpless. I turned to a friend of mine who tried for 5 years before she conceived, and she was my greatest comfort.

Nothing anyone said could make me feel better. I was mad at the world. I couldn't go anywhere without seeing pregnant women and babies. I started to avoid family functions and special church.

Even after I became pregnant, it was months before I could be happy. I was really worried about another miscarriage. It really wasn't until after my daughter was born that I was able to let everything go and be happy and more importantly, be happy for others.

You are lucky that you feel special to your doctors. That alone can make a huge difference in your infertility journey. I wish you the best of luck. All the "suffering" was well worth it in the end. The worst part was mental, not the physical stuff I had to do to become pregnant.

V.

Hi C.-

I know how you feel and there are a lot of other women out there that know how you feel. We did 2 cycles of clomid and 1 with injectibles and the last cycle with injectibles worked. All cycles we did insemination. We also tried on our own for a year before we had help from doctors. We are now expecting twin girls in April. Don't give up. I remember sobbing after the last cycle because I was certain it didn't work. Before I missed a period my head was in the toilet puking and I took 5 tests before believing it was actually true. Unfortunatly infertility is horrible and it sucks life and hope out of you. It's also devestating when the cycle is a bust and you have to wait. I'm glad you are going to a good doctor, but don't hesitiate to get a 2nd opinion and seek support. There is a support group online called www.sharedjourney.com. You will find some supportive women in there. Also, if you ever want to hear more of my story, email me at ____@____.com or if you ever need to vent or talk. Best wishes.

C., I totally understand what you are going through! It took us 4 years of infertility treatments to finally have our twin girls (now 4!!). I got a lot of strength, understanding and courage from being part of a support group run by RESOLVE. RESOLVE is an organization dedicated to helping couples going through fertility problems. It helped to be in a room with other women who knew exactly what I was going through!! Check out their website and look for a local support group (S.O.S. support our selves). I think the web sit is RESOLVE.org . Good luck!
A.

Hi Candance,

My fertility doctor wanted to go straight to IVF because he did not believe that I would get pregnant with artificial insemination (I think they changed the name of that procedure now)

Anyway, he said due to my insurance, I had to go the artificial route first before trying a more invasive route since IVF costs much more. (I was lucky enough to have it all covered through my insurance.) Well, he was right! We tried 2 cycles with artificial insemination with no luck. (I tried clomid before that, too.) Anyway, long story short.... the IVF worked on the first attempt. He transferred two embryos and both became implanted and I delivered twins!

Good luck with your journey to become a mommy! Be patient and don't give up! My friend finally is pregnant now after being married for 14 years.... I did not have to wait that long!

Take care,

J.

C.,

We have our son, who is adopted, and I am going through a round of IUI right now for our second child. We tried IVF two years ago. Adopting our son and starting a family was the best decision we have EVER made. It is so wonderful to have him here with me as I go through fertility treatments this time. May I recommend coming to peace with your situation, really digging down to decide what is the best thing for you and your husband to do in order to start a family. I am a mother because of my son's incredible birthmother, I don't feel any less than any other mom in the world. And if our IUI attempts don't work in a few months, then we will adopt again to expand our family.
As you go through treatments this is a nice site to share your feelings and read what is going on with others.
http://forums.fertilitycommunity.com/
I know you will be a mom.

I too am in my late 30's and am married to my 2nd husband. I have an almost 16 year old son from my first brief marriage, but my husband and I desperately want to have a baby and we are just on the brink of looking into fertility. It's been a year and a half and it just doesn't seem to be happening. Would you mind sharing with me your experiences up to this point? Where are you going for your treatments?

I have 2 couples who did go thru the fertility treatments. They both became pregnant! One couple became pregnant on their own after their 3rd treatment did not work. They decided this was not the route for them and started to pursue other avenues when they were blessed with the news. The other couple did become pregnant on their 2nd attempt. She told me that every one is different and you just don't know if it's going to work or not, but your chances are increased.

C.

____@____.com

Hi C.,

We went through years of treatment (inseminations/IVF) and we were blessed with a son who is now 6 years old. I would be happy to talk to you if you like. I also have a support group (through Resolve) and we have meetings in Arlington Heights monthly if your interested in talking to others dealing with infertility. Feel free to email me at ____@____.com of luck.

S.-

Hi C.,

I've not been through this myself but many of my clients have (I'm a licensed massage therapist, certified in prenatal massage and many women come to see me as they go through infertility treatments to decrease stress and anxiety levels since high/low levels can create a different impact on a woman's experience and/or success). Additionally, I know of a technique that has also helped some women get pregnant. You can read about it here http://arvigomassage.com/about_rosita.php
It's Mayan Abdominal massage and the website does a great job relaying how it can help women going through fertility issues (basically the technique helps put a tipped uterus back in proper alignment and I know a woman who got pregnant soon thereafter receiving this treatment). I'm not certified in this work (yet, I hope to be someday) but there is a woman in Warrenville who is, you can find her information on the same website.
I am 37 and the SAHM of my 9 month old son. We plan to have another before I turn 40. As a woman who began this process also into my late 30's, I can relate to the anxiety of those pre-pregnancy days (wondering if I would get pregnant considering my age). I'm glad you're reaching out. If I may suggest, do what you can to decrease your stress and anxiety, and if you're open to it, try some imagery work (seeing yourself already pregnant). Both can be very powerful, supportive measures.

My Best,
J.

If you would like to learn how to reverse infertility and get pregnant quickly and safely... without drugs, without risky surgery, without any typical Infertility treatments, and without any side effects, then this will be the most important things you will ever read. I guarantee it and I've got the results to prove it! http://pregnancyhours.com

I'm sure you've received a lot of responses, but I did have 4 IUIs before I finally got pregnant with my son. I remember my doctor telling me that it would most likely take 3-4 attempts. Good luck!

Just try to keep your head up. It took us a year - 7 or 8 IUI and 2 IVF's before we conceived Matthew. Since then, I have had 3 pregancies without help from a specialist. I don't know if you pray or meditate, but I had a little prayer that went something like "Please help me find my children" I was coming unglued at every turn. I feel your pain. The only thing I can say is it is totally worth it. We'll keep you in our prayers.
C.

Hello! We've gone through the fertility treatment 3 times, and the third one was successful. My son is 5,5 years old now. The last time we did it through the Illinois Fertility Center http://www.fcionline.com/aboutus_meetourphysicians.htm, my doctor was doctor Rapisarda. Some of my friends were their patients, and all of them delivered healthy babies in the end. I understand you very well, it is not easy and a very emotional process, but the key is - you need to be calm, positive, and please do not loose hope. I know it is very easy to say, but I've been there, and your moral and emotional condition is really important. It is still mystery for me how it is happening, but believe it or not, when we did it last time I felt something from the very beginning. I wish you luck, and I truly believe that everything turned out to be very GOOD. Kate

I went through infertility years ago and have a set of triplets. It is very hard emotionally but you have to think positive and talk with the doctor to see when you would move to the next step. I ended with invitro, first try gave me my 3. It did take a long time and each month you hope and it does not take. Think positive.

Hi C.,

I sent through the insem. process twice. The first time it took three rounds and I got preg. the last time. I don't want to scare you, but that preg. ended in a loss. I did an insem. last Sept. and was lucky the first time. I am due in June. Everyone is different, but if they didn't find any issues with you or your husband, you have to give yourself a few more times. IUI is 4-6 cycles and IVI is 6-8 cycles. I believe it will happen for you. Good luck!!

D.

don't give up try to stay calm it will work my neice was 35 when she hit the jackpot he is two years old now what a beautiful boy it always help if you earnestly pray about it.have faith in god and it will be given unto you

C.,

I went through multiple fertility treatments before I got pg. I did multiple rounds of clomid (that did nothing), no eggs produced. Then i did 3 rounds of follistim and ovidrel with IUI before getting pregnant. I was ready to give up and just go to IVF...when it finally happened. My doctor was in Peoria Illinois...if you want his name I would be happy to give it to you. Hope this helps. Steph

Hi, I battled infertility for 5 years before becoming pregnant at age 39. After 8 failed insemination attempts, I became pregnant through IVF. The feelings you have are normal and it is so difficult, sometimes impossible, to stay positive. The one piece of advice I have is to really search hard for the doctor that will help you figure out why you are infertile. There are so many different reasons and when you hear it is unexplained it is just so difficult to understand and fix. It turns out that my issues with endometrosis would prevent any insemination from ever working so there is no reason I tried 8 times. If I had been under the care of the right doctor from the start, I would have known my condition makes me a perfect candidate for IVF. Good luck.

Hi C.,
I did 5 inutero's and then I switched doctors because a friend also did and got pregnant right away. We had to wait two years (our insurance didn't cover any infertility).

My second Dr. was Dr. Miller and Dr. Zinger out of Naperville (they also have a office in Algonquin). Dr. Miller did one invitro and my eggs were not of good quality due to my body not responding to the fertility drugs. He put me on a new set of drugs and on our second invitro (with isxi(spell)) we got pregnant with boy/girl twins. We froze my remaining fertilized eggs and did another implantation and I got pregnant with my baby boy. The twins will be 3 on St. Patrick's day and the baby will be 9 months on March 1.

It is a long process. It takes a lot of tenacity and is hard on your marriage, your emotions, and your sex life. I always wanted children and would go to any length to have them, they are worth it.

I would try to talk to other moms that go to your doctor to see what results they have gotten. If you live in the area I would definately recommend my Dr. I know a lot of people who have had a lot of sucess with them. They are aggressive and very professional.

If you need to talk, I definately know the struggle you are going through, especially the devastation every time your period comes.

Best of Luck,
M.

Yes, we got pregnant via fertility treatment, but we ended up going to IVF. The IUI's were not successfull. Neither were two IVF's. I started at 38, and I finally got pregnant at 40 with ALOT of help.

The time we were going thru fertility treatment are some of the darkest days of my life. Maybe it's the meds and all the emotion. A great book is the following: "Conquering Infertility". RESOLVE is a great infertility support organization to get info and to connect with others. Go to resolve.org. A good website with bulliten boards is IVFCONNECTIONS.

Feel free to e-mail me if you need someone to talk to.

Hi C.,

I know you probably think why me. That is the feeling that we all have had at one time or another during this process. I know this is not fair, but I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. At the time you are so angry and just mad at the world. My husband and I went through 3 rounds of IVF and and after being completly devistated the first 2 times I almost gave up. When the third time came around, I decided that I was going to take the attitude of whatever happens, happens. I was much more relaxed,I did accupuncturea nd to be honest with you I kind of had an "I don't give a damn attitude" I wasn't going to kill myself over watching every little thing that I ate or drank. I pretty much just lived my life the way that I did before I was trying to get pregnant. And low and behold I got pregnant. I don't know if any of this had anything to do with it, but I honstly think that because I wasn't worried about all the meds and injections and wasn't stressing myself over what I could eat and not eat. I generally was just more relaxed all together. I know it is easier said than done but the more relaxed you are the better it is for your body. Hope this helps and I wish you the best. Our daughter is now 3 years old and she is the best thing that ever happened to us. Best of luck to you and hang in there.

Looks like you've gotten a bunch of responses but just wanted to give you my encouragement! I was a surrogate for close friends of the family ( wife had to have uterus partially removed due to a tumor) and underwent fertility drugs as well as embryo transfers for them and guess what- third time was the charm for us! Thier beautiful son turned 1 in January. So don't give up hope!

I do know you feel and you're not alone. I didn't go through insemination but I do IVF - 3 times and it wasn't until my 3rd try that I was finally blessed with triplets just 3 months before my 40th birthday. Must of been something about that lukcy number 3. :) Good luck to you and I hope that everything works out.

Dear C.,
Your story is very familiar to me. After my second early miscarriage (one resulting in a D&C) my husband and I went through multiple fertility treatments including 2 unsuccessful artifitial inseminations. At that point I took a break from the fertility injections, medications, and planning. It was a difficult decision to stop because of the "ticking time clock" factor, however, for me, it got me to a place where I could emotionally examine my life and open up to the possibility that conception may be out of my control. I lost weight, took a trip with my husband, went back to drinking a couple beers and even smoking a cig or two, I'm embarrassed to admit. I tried to enjoy the freedom of not having kids- and found myself pregnant 6 months later without medical intervention. I immediately supplemented with progesterone. I believe in this completely and can email you more information, if you'd like. My son is 5. He has a 4 year old brother and a 2 year old sister. My sister experienced a similar fertility story in that she conceived once she stopped treatment and got her head (and her marriage)to a better place. I know that fertility issues can make you feel helpless and be painful. Please know that for every girl who seems to "pop 'em out" there's at least one like you and I who struggles with fertility. You're not alone. Try reading Louise Hay or another author who writes about a person's mental ability to heal themselves. Maybe that will help you put your thoughts in the best place for your body to conceive. I know you feel like you're in a race against time, but that stress will have an effect on your fertility. I also reccomend an amazing book called, Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It was an amazing education for me. Good Luck! You're not alone.
B.

Hi candice i personally have not gone threw infertility but my brother and sisterinlaw have she actually went for reflexolgy and a relaxing massage on a regular basis the reflexology helped in the fertility area and the massage helped to relax good luck i say a prayer for you

I know what you are going through. My husband and I tried on our own for a 1 year and then went to a fetility specialist. We did inseminations for 8 or 9 months. Only 1 month on clomid and then the other months were on gonal f. Both my husband and I were only 26 when we were going to the specialist. She kept hoping to find something wrong that way she could fix it and hopefully we would get pregnant. She kept putting IVF off hoping that the inseminations would work. Finally on our 11 month with the specialist we did invito and got pregnant. I had a bad pregnancy, but got my little baby. He was 2 months early and was in the NICU for a few weeks but he is a prefect, crazy little 2 1/2 yr old now. I had a friend that started fertility treatments at the same time as me and just had twins. I now that it is very hard and very disappointing but there is always hope. Good luck.

Hi C.,

YES! I have two children both were conceived with meds and IUI. It can happen! ;) Hang in there- I know how hard it is, we are trying for number 3 with meds and IUI again. I know how the anxiety sets in. It's awful. Have you looked at the website fertilethoughts.com? There are a lot of great ladies out there who would love to talk to you.

The waiting is awful- each month that goes by- you wait, hope and pray. It's so hard. Try to find something else to do while you are in the two week wait (yes, I know it's easier said then done). Enjoy your husband....go see some movies, organize a closet, just keep yourself busy.

I sincerely hope that you treatments are successful.

Sending baby vibes to you ********************** :)

MV Hang in there- It will happen. :)

have u just thought about adoption? i know that so many people think that it is necessary to have their dna in a child to love it, but there are so many children that do not have a home or someone to love them. for the amount of money that u will spend on all of these infertility treatments, you could use that money to give a child one hell of a life. not only that, but you could be a hero and a life saver to a pregnant girl who has no other options.
whatever you decide to do, good luck!

I have had to go to infertility too. Not to the extent that others have, but I know the process, and it's not fun. I have 3 children. My first was "a fluke" they said. My next two, were by the hand of Doctor Binor. I definetly recommend him. I also have several friends who have had to go beyond the point I did. My one friend just had IVF and things aren't looking too positive at the moment. (For the record everyone else I know that has gone to him had success!)There are no words of comfort anyone can give too you, even if other people have already gone through it. I'm sorry that you are going through this. They do have support groups. That may be what you need right now. If you call Binors office. i'm sure they can give you a list of numbers.

C.,

I know the struggles and anxiety that you are going through, and I am sorry you are having to face them. I went through 3 inseminations, and then 5 rounds of IVF for my two miracle babies. (they were IVF rounds 2 and 5) I have two thoughts for you . . . one thing that really helped me was to join a support group. There is a group organized by Pulling Down the Moon in the city where you meet weekly with other women struggling with fertility challenges. They may have groups at some of their suburban offices too. It is based off of Alice Domar's work, and I found it to be great to meet other women going through what I was. I also learned a lot from the other women and I developed friendships with several of them. Secondly, I would make sure you go to the best doctor around. There is so much to go through emotionally, physically and financially that for me, I chose to forgo the nice bedside manner for a top doc. Of course, if you have a top doc and the office is wonderful you have made out! :-)

I wish you the best and many blessings.

A.