Hello All, my question has to do with my husbands male anatomy...He told me the other day that a month ago it started hurting and became red, at the same time I noticed he wasn't shooting straight (because I was the one cleaning it up several times daily). He let me see it the other day (no we haven't had sex lately because of a condition I am dealing with), it is red and swollen and he said it itches. I thought maybe it was a yeast infection (he is obese and said he didn't dry off completely one day), but because he isn't shooting straight I don't know what to think. My question is who should he see about this? He doesn't want to see the family dr. because he is a friend also and is very embarrassed. Which is understood. So what do we do?
Thanks for any help you can give.
I will call the doctor's office for him to see a urologist. It is not an STD, he has never had sex with anyone in his life except me and is a strong Christian and even the thought of sleeping with someone else makes him physically ill. My problem, however is called HS and it is a skin condition that occurs in several places on the body and right now it is on my groin area which is why we've not had sex because it is uncomfortable. I am currently seeing a doctor about my condition, which the antibiotics I am on has caused a yeast infection. Thankfully I should be off of them this week after being on them for three months. He hates doctors and is why he hasn't seen anyone. As for not shooting straight, well that has caused many arguments between he and I and now that I know it is because he is having issues himself, well, I don't say much. He does itch, so I wondered if it is a yeast infection also caused by not drying off well after he showers or not rinsing good enough. He can't see the area because his belly is so big. And don't tell me he needs to lose weight, that has been an argument between us for years. I am a runner and work out, he does not, which is why he is obese. Don't need any comments about his weight, believe me, I know! Thanks.
To Marilyn S., I suppose I should have been more specific...HS is Hidradenitis Supporativa, not herpes, which is a skin condition not an STD. If you google HS, it tells you what it is. I have never had an STD and neither has my husband. Several of you suggested that he could have had an affair...well, you don't know my husband and anyone that does know him knows that is NEVER an option for him. No if, ands, or buts. All I asked for was what kind of doctor should he see. Now that I've gotten that answered, which was very helpful, I plan to call and make an appointment. Thank you ladies, all of you.
Red, swollen and itchy and he's waited a month? Seriously? And he doesn't want to see his own doctor? STD perhaps? For this issue, he probably ought to see a urologist, sooner rather than later.
Family doctor could start the process of finding out if it is an infection. Or at least refer him to a urologist.
Maybe call and ask which urologist your family doctor refers patients to see.
My friend's husband woke up one morning with his parts swollen several times their normal size. Turned out it was a MRSA infection from an infected hair follicle on his leg that spread into his man parts. He spend several days in the hospital in IV antibiotics very serious.
Get him to the doctor ASAP!!
OK, here goes, I do not want to offend you, but you say you have "HS". I don't know what you mean, but the first thought I have is "herpes simplex". Don't kid yourself if you have herpes simplex, it IS a sexually transmitted disease and your husband can have it from YOU!
The herpes virus can get in your system through chicken pox and stay dormant forever or it can flare at anytime. It can manifest as fever blisters, genital herpes, shingles, which can be anywhere a nerve pathway is, eyes, brain, skin, inside of mouth and can be internal and affect organs, trunk, sciatic nerve area, chest, arm pit, buttocks and can come with lowered immune system, often seen in people with cancer, herpes Whitlow is on the fingers. All are contagious.
It is not the end of the world and is manageable with proper medication and very treatable, but also is a chronic recurring condition. Any Dr. can treat, but like others mentioned, a urologist would be a great place to start. The symptoms your husband describes is like that of herpes.
Ridiculous that he hasn't seen a Dr. by now, it would be a lot more embarrassing to wait until he needs hospitalization to treat something that could have been "minor" in the beginning, rather than something out of control.
What you are describing isn't because he didn't dry himself one day. Yeast infections can also be sexually transmitted, and easily treated and it can be chronic back and forth between partners. He might need to be checked for general health physical, he could have something like diabetes. Sores that don't heal because of sugar issues are things that can be overlooked.
Believe me, no doctor is going to be surprised and even if Dr. is a friend, he's going to understand this situation. IF you both have herpes, get the outbreaks treated, get on medication and when you are better, you can go back to having "normal" relations again.
GO TO THE DR!!
Your husband needs to find a new doctor that is not a friend. Although I am sure his doctor friend has seen and heard it all, your husband needs someone that he feels comfortable with about all issues.
Wow, I think you need to stop treating him like a child.
If he can't control his stream of urine (even sitting down?) he needs to clean it up himself!
And he needs to man up and see a doctor that he IS comfortable with.
There is no WE in this. This is his issue, and his health, you're his wife not his mommy :-(
I agree that you should feel free to be specific with your terminology. If Marilyn S. (who is a nurse) didn't know what you meant, it's reasonable that others would be confused. "Shooting straight" for example - say what you mean. FYI if you put "graphic info" or "could be TMI" in your post title, those who don't want to hear specifics won't read it.
You should not have to hear comments about your husband's weight, I agree with you.
Not drying off shouldn't be a major factor - the groin is a moist area anyway, due to sweat and clothing - which is probably a part of why neither you nor your husband has healed.
I'm concerned that both of you are dealing with problems for a long time. I think your husband should switch to a doctor he can be comfortable with, but otherwise he should see a urologist because it's unclear whether this is entirely a superficial irritation/infection or whether it goes up the urethra. I think that makes much more sense that, say, a dermatologist. A urologist will have the appropriate equipment if any testing needs to be done. But sitting around for a month with a problem like this is just not a good idea - if your husband cannot be forthright with his personal physician, he needs to look into someone more distant with whom he only has a professional relationship. I am involved in a number of community activities in which my doctor is involved - so I switched to someone else. He understood.
It also sounds to me like some good immune system support would help. You've been taking medications for 3 months? That shouldn't be. I work extensively with epigenetics and helping people with chronic conditions, and I can tell you there is something missing here. I also work with physicians who try to help very sick kids with malnutrition, and I can assure you that medications only go so far, and often don't work in a weakened body. The meds are treating the symptom, but not the cause.
I think it would be good for your husband to step up and be more proactive in his health care. He let this condition go on for a month, and even so, you are the one cleaning up after him 3 times a day and calling the doctor for him. If he's so compromised that he cannot do basic tasks, he's not going to be a good advocate for his own health care.
He needs to suck it up and get to a doctor. If he doesn't want to see his buddy Dr then go to a specialist.
This could be a number of issues. Both if you get checked for STD's.
You don't mess around with these symptoms. Get to a dr Stat!
A urologist. He may have an Ingrown hair that is now infected. It may be something more serious.
Okay you have issues in your nether regions, so does he? Gross! Are y'all just going to wait until it falls off? That won't be embarrassing will it?
Tell him to grow up and see the doctor, perhaps you should both go so they can figure out what all is going on.
Per your what happened, actually if you google HS it throws up a million pages of high schools which is really what it sounds like you are in.
It could be very minor or quite serious, but cannot be diagnosed and treated without him seeing a doctor. He needs to find a doctor who is not a friend and he can be open with. I'm thinking a urologist is the way to go.
