i have noticed the last few times i have gone to babysit my new 3 1/2 month old granddaughter she cries when i pick her up right away. i see her 3-4 times a week sometimes even spend the night, but noticed she cries when i take her right away. she also cries immediately all the time with her other grandmother who does not see her hardly at all. what do i do. it is like now she has to warm up to me. please tell me what i can do so she will not cry when she comes to me.
Infants that age navigate their world by smell. In a nutshell....you don't smell like mom or dad. She will get used to you as she gets older. All you can do at this point is to be patient and show her that you love her.
It seems a little early for your granddaughter to exhibit stranger anxiety but it's not technically out of the realm of possibility. Two thoughts- are you picking her up and taking her from mommy OR is she sleeping (like in a car seat) or resting out of mommys arms when you pick her up? If it's the first, then I agree with other moms that you need to be patient and let her wait till she is ready to release mommy and lean toward you. If you are picking her up and she hasn't been touching mommy when you do so remember- an infant can't see perfectly yet so they rely on smell- if you don't smell like mommy then you are frightening.
It is easier for you to smell like mommy if you are her mommy's mommy... But not impossible to smell like mommy even if you are daddys mommy. I had to go back to work after 6weeks with my daughter and my mom watched her for a few months after that. A trick we used was that I wore a shawl or scarf whenever I was driving... Then my mom wore it to pick up our daughter. Mom also wasn't allowed to wear perfume so that nothing overpowered my smell on her. It worked well for us... But again, we share a lot of the same phermones since I am her daughter. But hopefully that helps...
Stranger anxiety is likely setting in. While she sees you frequently, infants don't have a long memory.
She will grow out of it, but letting her come to you and having you introduced by a parent will help.
this is normal. let her see you for a bit and then pick her up.
M.
I really have no response to help you out. However our oldest, who is 3 now, would only go to my mother w/out crying at all, but anyone (except dad) he would wail at the top of his lungs. Our second son, who is now 2, would cry and wail like crazy when my mother tried to hold him, but would quiet when Papa (my mothers long time boyfriend) would hold him. So after a while they both warmed up to immediate family. I believe after awhile, she wll warm up and you will have no problem at all. Just have to give it a little time. <3
I know this might sound a little off the wall, but are you right handed and the baby's mother left handed? Sometimes that can be a trigger for crying. It could also be a scent or something like that that bothers her. I agree with the other posts though that you wait to hold her a bit. Play with her first and see if she still cries.
Just be patient. Separation anxiety is actually considered a milestone by many pediatricians these days!! My second son cried for the first few minutes whenever anyone else held him, including his dad!! (and we're married/living in the same house!!!) He warmed up to people more easily who kept him despite the crying than he did to people who gave him back to me when he was crying. My mom just walked off with him and showed him everything in the room, talking and singing a mile a minute. She came to visit about every two months, and he had less trouble going to her than pretty much anyone but me!!
dont despair.. babies are just tiny people, who poop on you
some times it takes a while for a little one to warm up
to people, but at the same time, they can be very sensitive
to certain smells. and colors etc. my sister, at that age,
loved it when i wore a plain red sweat shirt.. no perfume,
no fancy soap, just a red sweat shirt and a lap that needed
sitting in and a dauchaund that was udderly smitten with her.
hope it helps
K. h.
My daughter was like this for a long time.
My biggest piece of advice is don't pick her up immediately even though that's probably your biggest urge when you first see her. :) Let her be with her mom for 10-15 minutes, looking at you, interacting with you (quietly, don't overdo the goo goo ga gas) before holding her.
she's tiny, and she's used to how her parents sound, feel, look and smell. you just can't take this to heart. the only real answer to this is to spend enough time with her so that your sound, feel, look and smell become familiar to her. and even then she'll cry sometimes. since you're already seeing her quite a bit (and how wonderful is that??), just be patient. the world is still new and overwhelming to babies this young. stay quiet, calm and loving, and it will unfold just exactly as it's meant to.
khairete
S.
