omg, i know exactly where u r coming from, i have a 19 month old lil' girl who is definilty starting the terrible twos early too, she wants to eat independently and has the temper tantrums too, due to frustration if she can't do it or if mommy tries to help too much. It's completely normal n if she is able to do it by herself or is doing the finger foods let her, but if she is having a hard time, n has a temper tantrum, let it pass u have to ignore them at this age and when its done, say let mommy help u n take two sppons allowing her to try n in between her trying u pull a scoop up to her mouth, almost taking turns, n if its not a finger food but she can obviously do well w/ using her fingers to eat it , just go ahead n take away the spoon (if she can't do it independently) n let her eat it as a finger food to avoid the frustration. But in the end, of course, there isn't a magic answer to fix everything, i have tried everything from letting her flip out, to talking calmly to her about it not being nice to flip out (in other words), to practicing with different foods, but in the end, shes only 19 months, it's normal.