WOW! My goodness ladies, Thank You for all of your help. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday with my same old doctor and I left afterwards in tears and cried the whole way home. I apparently gained some weight and he told me he thinks I got pregnant just to have an excuse to get fatter. Do you know how much that hurt my feelings? My husband never said anything to him because he was truly afraid he would punch the guy. I just sat there. I wanted to cry right there but I didn't want the doctor to know he got the best of me. I know it's not healthy to gain weight at any point in your life but he just really struck a nerve with me when he said that. Really makes me miss my old doctor so much more. I never realized I would ever get so attached to a doctor but the lady I had deliver my daughter was just wonderful to me.
Something I have not mentioned to anyone because I did not think it would ever truly be a big deal but, I am married to a black man and I am a white woman. The doctor I have now won't even look my husband in the eyes much less say 2 words to him. I think my husband can sense this too and it makes him even angrier. Makes me pretty mad too because I just will never understand treating someone differently because of their skin color. But that is beside the point. My previous female OBGYN was also a black woman and she was very friendly to my husband and to me.
I guess the bottom line is all I really truly want is a doctor who has some compassion. Some words of encouragement and can accept me and my husband for who we are. We are both very polite to everyone we meet and I would just like someone who treated us the same. I have never truly been fond of doctor's but every once in awhile I get lucky and find a good one. I've been through prenatal care before and I know it shouldn't really be something I dread doing so much. Each and every appointment I cross off the list brings me one step closer to holding my new baby.
So thanks again for all of your advice. I truly did not realize I could change doctor's this late in my pregnancy. I sort of just feel stuck with the one I have now. But maybe I can find someone new who will treat us better than this guy. i will keep you posted.
Okay Ladies I did it. I made an appointment with Dr. Greve in Mansfield. I will go and see him next Thursday. The lady that answered the phone was very sweet to me. I explained my situation to her and she said I should NEVER stay with a doctor who treated me the way this one did. I am in the middle of filling out my "Medical Record Transfer" right now! My goodness, all of you made me feel so much better.
I see that you already found a new doctor - but I also wanted to add my "I am so sorry you had to go through that". What a horrible way to be treated and I am glad you have moved on to someone else to get the respect you deserve!
--S.
I'm sorry you went through that. When I was expecting my 3rd child at the age of 38, my doctor recommended that I visit with all the doctors in the practice in case they were the ones on call at the time of delivery. One of the doctors, a young man, was so condescending and rude and made the same kind of crack about my weight. At that point I was 6 months along and had gained 18 lbs. Granted this was the most I had gained with any of my pregnancies (the 1st was 20 lbs total and my 2nd I was down 5 pounds by the time he was born). I was on bed rest at the time as well. I had to give up teaching my kickboxing class because I had to go on bed rest. Any way, he made the crack of "Well the baby isn't here yet, so you can't be on the toddler diet yet." Meaning that moms tend to finish whatever their kids don't. My husband was about ready to punch him as well. I have found there are some doctors with really bad bedside manners and they really don't care if you go to another one. Good girl! Remember they are a service provider and should give you service as anyone would give a customer.
YOU WOULD LOVE THIS LADY, I SAW HER AFTER I HAD MY DAUGHTER AND RIGHT AWAY WISHED I HAD HAD HER FOR MY OB DOC. YOU CAN ALSO LOOK HER UP AT HEALTH CENTRAL WOMENS CARE P.A. ###-###-####
Felicia M. Tillman, M.D., FACOG
PERSONAL:
Date of Birth: February 14, 1964
Place of Birth: Jeannette, PA.
Specialty: Obstetric, Gynecology and Infertility
Languages: French, Spanish
EDUCATION:
Undergraduate: Stanford University; B.A.; graduated 1986
Medical School: University of Cal. Davis; M.D.; 1987 to 1992
POSTGRADUATE TRAINING:
Masters Degree: University of Cal. Berkeley; Masters of Public Health; 1990 to 1991
Internship: Kaiser Foundation Hospital; Oakland CA.; 7/1/92-6/30/93
Residency: Kaiser Foundation Hospital; Oakland, CA.; 7/1/93-6/30/96
HOSPITAL STAFF MEMBERSHIPS:
Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas
BOARD CERTIFICATION:
Board Certified in Obstetrics and Gynecology 1998
Fellow, American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology
PROFESSIONAL AFFILIATIONS:
Dallas County Medical Society
American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology
Texas Medical Association
What a horrible doctor! Regardless of how far along you are, I really think that you would be happier and more comfortable with a doctor who treats you better. I can't imagine giving birth to a child with a doctor like that in the room. I'd be more likely to hurt him while I was in labor - but I was MEAN when I had my daughter....
When I was pregnant, I decided that the way to go for me was a midwife, and I'm very happy that I did. The 2 midwives in the office were amazing and very supportive - and I had a very odd situation which would have made it very easy for them to judge me.
Good luck finding your new doctor. And there has to be someone you can report that doctor to.... He shouldn't be able to go around treating people like that.
I'm so sorry that happened to you...it's such a sensitive time in your life, too. I just wonder if that doctor's wife would approve of his making cracks like that? Or would he make that same comment to his daughter? Some doctors forget their primary focus, and get way too full of themselves. Maybe he should spend some time in Rwanda or even in Appalachia treating those people & living in horrid conditions, away from his expensive vehicle and home...I think all doctors should, just to keep their moral compass calibrated.
I see Dr. Kira Butler at Medical City Dallas. She takes most insurance and is very kind and is the sort of doctor that treats you like you do have a brain. I recommend calling to see if she has an opening. She also has a colleague, Dr. Martin, who I haven't met, but he has to be better than your doctor.
