In Need of Sleep :)

B.,

You poor thing! I can relate - my 10 month old just recently started sleeping through the night. Sounds like it might be time to move her to her own bed in her own room (or at least where she can't see you at night). If you don't already have a bedtime routine, you need to get one quick! We have a bath every night, brush teeth, nurse, rinse with water, read a short Bible story, read a short "night-night" story (Goodnight Moon & Bedtime with Night Light are our faves), turn the light out and say prayers in a soft, soothing manner. Then we sing the same little song that signals he's about to be put into bed. Now he starts yawning when we read the book, and although he sometimes fusses when I first put him down, he's soothing himself back to sleep now. (Other times he's squirming to be put in his crib b/c he's so tired.)

Your little one is probably nursing (I assume) at night to be close to you and to catch up on her time with you. At this age there is usually no nutritional need for her to eat at night, so you might want to start with the Feber method to help her learn to soothe herself back to sleep when she wakes. His book is called Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. BTW, this method doesn't recommend you let your little ones wail for hours on end as you may have heard. :-) It's actually really humane and it makes sense. You might also check out the book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It's more a collection of suggestions for bedtime routines versus a specific method like Ferber has. Still, it can be helpful if you want to build your own routine. Both will take work and commitment, but it sounds like you're ready to have your nights back, so you'll probably find it easy to do it.

I'd also start limiting her naps to one in the AM and one in the PM and no more than 2 hours each. You'll gradually want to make her morning nap later and later until she's taking one long nap after her lunch time. She may be sleeping too much during the day. You might also consider whether your nanny is contributing to the problem - it's pretty convenient for the nanny that your daughter sleeps so much during the day b/c it means less work! So, I'd make sure to set the schedule and make sure nanny is following it.

Another no-no is letting baby sleep after 4pm, although I can't say I totally agree. Sometimes my 10 month old is refreshed after napping in the car on the way home and still sleeps well at night.

Hope these suggestions help! Now is the time to get it under control, though, so you don't have an even tougher time when she's capable of climbing out of the bed at night. Let me know if I can help further!

Best,
L.

First thing is first you need her to get her outta your bed and in her own! Secondly cut her naps to 2 a day in am and 1 pm!!! that is what I did with my 14 month old. Working is hard I did it up before we moved to Texas. Start with these suggestions and let me know if they work!

Good Luck!

I am in the same boat. I have a 6 mo old with the same sleeping schedule and is in our bed. I am tired and would love a quick easy solution but I am realizing there isn't one. I don't have any really have any helpful suggestions but just wanted you to know there are other mothers out there with the same issue. Although, I think it is very important to have your baby in bed with you since you work. There are lots of studies out there that are pro co-sleeping. She is probably thriving and loving being next to you at night.

Good luck and hang in there! You are doing the best thing for your baby by sharing your bed with her.

I just posted last week about this same topic. My 2nd baby is now 6 months old and was in my bed until 1 week ago. The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth has helped me tremendously! My baby was the worst sleeper! But now is taking 3 naps a day really well and nights are a work in progress. You really should get this book. I will tell that he says almost all 9 months old should/will have dropped the 3rd nap, and that nutritionally can sleep thru the night w/o feeding. Hard for me to take, since my little is only 6 months and exclusively breastfed, but truly I have seen it work in the past week.

I don't have to go to work, I stay home with my 3 year old and 6 month old. Not sleeping for about 6 months almost drove me over the edge. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to have to get up and going in the mornings.

Best of luck to you!

There's really nothing wrong with her being in your bed and as you have already figured out, she's making up for the time away. What we did with my boys (I worked fulltime from when my first was 3 mos. old and parttime until my second was 9 months old and have worked fulltime since), was to put the crib in our room, so they started out there and they gave me some good babyless sleep earlier in the evening when its most important for replenishing hormones, etc. Also, it was my husband's job to get up and bring the babies to me when they awoke for the first time and then they stayed in our bed after that, but you could just get your husband to take that first feeding and then put the baby back in the crib. You really need to go to sleep earlier (say 8:30-9pm) at this point to ensure you get enough sleep (and yes, I know this sounds crazy to most, but it is really quite effective for this short period of time when it's necessary - I did this for years and then would just get up early in the morning to do stuff, including exercising). Your husband should be able to handle that first feeding and let you sleep. And, then you can handle that second feeding. Once she's a year old, you can cut out one of those nite time feedings. Also, you may need to encourage the caregiver to increase feedings and decrease naps (this will happen naturally as she gets more mobile). If she reaches 15-18 months and still wants to feed at nite, we found that giving water dramatically decreased my first son's motivation to wake up at nite. It just took a few nites of Dad up with him and the water. Also, remove the guilt about working, having the baby in your bed, etc. We all have to do what works for us. There was also a study based on following kids for like 20 years and the results showed that the kids are not negatively impacted by working mothers. I know I was more impacted by a SAHM mom that would have been far happier as a working mom, so I have zero guilt about working.

I too would also recommend that you read the Ferber method book. It provides good information about a child's sleep rhythms and patterns. We were having a spell where our 9 month old was waking during the night. I used the Ferber method and she barely cried - 2-3 minutes and then settled down to sleep. Helping your child to establish good sleep habits is something that is truly important now and into the future. So do yourself and your child a favor and read the book.