In Laws - Tomball,TX

First off stop biting your tongue and just "kindly" tell SIL that your rules are that parents discipline your child ONLY (except in cases of immediate danger or violence - whatever your rules). While you are at it let them both know "family/household rules" Since she has these issues then suggest that they stay in a kid free zone (aka hotel or other family). Tell your husband this is the deal, your daughter comes first.

I am sorry but I let no one discipline my kids in front of me. It your job and your husbands. I would tell her politely that this is not her place to do so. If your daughter is annoying her then show her the front door. This your daughters home not hers. Stick up for her! Good luck!

Where is your husband in all this? They are his family, and he needs to let them know that your children will be disciplined by their parents. Obviously, if your child is doing something TO your SIL, or if your DD is doing something dangerous, etc. that you don't see, your SIL can ask her to stop. But you are the disciplinarian.

Honestly, if she has medical issues and anxiety, perhaps the next time they should stay in a hotel for an extended visit or not stay as long at your home.

Since your SIL gets so frustrated with and disciplines your daughter, she should NOT be staying with you! That is a dealbreaker in my opinion. She and her husband need to get out of your house and stay at a hotel. Anxiety is not an excuse to yell and discipline someone else's kid. I would not tolerate that for a second. Besides, the 17th to the 1st is way too long to have house guests anyway, especially for an introvert such as yourself. In the future, NEVER agree to this! It's your house and you have that right!!!

If you do not like how she handles your daughter, you need to let her know, Politly. It is hard when you have so many adults under one roof. I do not see that when people stay in your home for that long you need to be the catering kind of host. I know when I spend too much time with them I schedule outings (LOTS OF THEM) for me and the kids. We go to play zones, this works on 2 levels one they burn energy and I get to sit and enjoy my kids alone. If costs are an issue McDonalds have playzones and do not cost to be there.

There's an old expression that fish and houseguests start to stink after 3 days. This is a ridiculously long time to have people in your house and it has nothing to do with you being an introvert. Your husband should sit with you and tell his brother that you guys are in charge of disciplining your daughter, period. If they have their own room at your house, they can go there to get away from the "annoyances" of a small child doing her normal activities. Don't bite your tongue - you can say to your daughter, "Come on in the other room with me and we'll give Aunt Susie some quiet time." But don't make it every single time. Suggest to Aunt Susie that she retire to her room and read a good book - put a few on her nightstand to get her started.

You can give them a list of things to do in and around your town - museums, concerts, nature trails, whatever their interests and your SIL's medical issues will allow. If they are just sitting around your house expecting you to wait on them, it's not a good plan!

I would think it is a good time to have the " by the way this is my house" talk. I would sit them ( both of them) down and tell them you dont mind having them here but there are a few do's and dont's in your house. I have to remind my family at times that they are in my house which means my rules if you dont they will just continue to behave like this. Sorry for your stress during the holidays

Okay, well first off, that's a long time regardless of whether or not you're agood host, there are no other kids, anxiety issues, or whatever. For the future, I would talk to your husband and maybe have him tell them that they can only stay for a few days, a week max. That's a big deal. Since they don't have kids, they probably really don't get it, which is a major drag for you. In the present, wow, well, maybe recruit your husband to talk to his sister. I might try and tell her something like...'hey, just so you know here's a rough guidelines of what my kids are and aren't allowed to do...a, b, c, d, etc....that way you can help me keep an eye on them..." or something. YOu don't want to make it uncomfortable, but you also don't want to make it worse for you if they're going to be there for another week! Ultimately, you're right though, you need to enforce rules they way you want, this is your house.

N.--
It's all about setting boundaries in a firm and compassionate way. You need to outright tell your SIL that it is not okay for her to discipline your children. Her health problems are not your responsibility. Tell her that if something your daughter is doing is making her anxious then she is free to get up and walk out of the room until she calms down, but it hurts your daughter's feelings when she yells at her. It is your job to be the Mommy and the protector. Your daughter doesn't have a voice to speak up, so you have to be the one to do it. If your SIL has an opinion about it, then you very kindly tell her that your sorry she feels that way, but it's your job to make sure your daughter feels safe and loved and your would appreciate it if she could respect that while in your home. Again, be kind about it, but also be firm. If she understands that you mean it then she is likely to respect your wishes.
Good luck!
J.

It doesn't sound like the inlaws are driving you crazy, it sounds like because you are introverted, they are invading your space and it is becoming uncomfortable. It sounds like you are mad at yourself for not being more assertive in telling them how you really feel. Muster up enough courage and at least for your child, tell them you do not appreciate them raising their voice with your child. It is your house and family and you have that right. All the best.

First of all, that is your house, and you are responsible for making sure that home is a safe and comfortable place for yourself, your children, and your husband. Though you have welcomed her, she is an outsider, so she must fall in line with your program. Her anxiety should not be your problem. As an adult, she should be able to recognize her issues and remove herself from the situation should she find herself falling into that. Nobody should have to walk on eggshells at home.

Maybe you can get her attention when you see her going over the edge and ask her if she needs a time out.

The way that I deal with the in-laws who make me crazy is to stay away from them. I can't imagine that any of them would dare to ask to stay with us.

& just why are they there for such a long time? If your sister in law is raising her voice & disciplining you daughter - then you need to make it clear to her that you are happy that she is there; but that her disciplining your child is off limits. Loosen up that tongue.
You need to remind her that this is YOUR house. That she is NOT THE mother of your child - that you & your husband have definite ideas about discipline & what that discipline does or does not include. That you understand about her anxiety and that you will make every effort possible that your child understand how her Aunt feels.
Don't know how old your daughter is, but it might be a teachable moment about anxiety and medical problems & how some people react to them. At least if you speak to your Sister, your child will know that she is important to you. If your sister has not ever had children, then she hardly knows how to discipline one anyway.