Okay... I am one, who... when I had my children, I... DID.NOT.WANT.ANYONE.OR.ANY.VISITORS. around me or in my home or in my hospital room... AT ALL. Until, *I* was ready for visitors.
So, I get what you are saying.
What about, you invite YOUR parents?
Next: Your Husband, CANNOT force upon you... to have his entire family over at your house from before you have the baby and after.
If that were me, I would feel invaded.
AND as the Wife, you will have to, "entertain" them too. But you would have just had a baby etc.
Next: Your Husband is not correct, about how he thinks you feel or about what he thinks you need.
And yes, HE WOULD HAVE TO HELP YOU, post birth... AND THEN ALL THE TIME FOR THE rest of his child's life.
So, he shouldn't duck out of his responsibility, now.
NOR should he, expect his big family, to do it either.
AND I would make real sure, that, your in-laws don't just come flocking over, any ol' time "they" want to. They need to ask first.
You are of a different culture etc. and it is not their home.
AND staying for THREE MONTHS... is really, presumptuous of them and rude.
Your Husband... needs to get used to the fact, that his Wife... is not like that. And that his wife, IS the priority. Not his dozens of relatives.
Personally, I really get what you are saying... because, I like my privacy, I do not like drop-ins nor people inviting themselves to my home, and after I had my children (and I had had c-sections), I DID NOT WANT ANY visitors, of any kind. At all. Period. I just wanted to nest and be with my baby... by myself only with my Husband.
Fortunately, my Husband... COMPLETELY understood.
Really, NOW that you have a baby with your Husband and his family... they... will probably want to come over all the time.
And just invite themselves.
You... need to explain to your Husband, that this is not, gonna happen. And, staying for MONTHS at a time, is NOT... cool.
And, your Husband... has got to get used to... backing you up.