I have had temporary custody of my 3 nieces (9, 7, and 6) and my 4 year old nephew for 3 years since my sister and her husband passed. Over the course of the last year, I have been fighting to make the custody permanent. At first, Hubby wasn't sure we were ready to take on 4 kids all at once. But he did let us take them, and he fell in love with them. Now he is backing me 100%. The problem is that my sister's husband's family is trying to take them from us! It wouldn't be so bad, if I thought that they actually thought that would be best for them... But it's not! The kids have been with us since the night their parents died. We have been through counseling, and while they still (understandably) have a few issues once in a while, I feel that they are adjusting really well. They are happy, active, and healthy. They don't even WANT to go to their other family. The problem is that my sister's husband had his sister as the legal guardian for them in the event that something happened. They made this the case when they had their first DD, and never changed it. I know for a fact that they would want me to have the kids now. My sister told me that they were going to 'get around' to changing the guardianship, but they procrastinated and now it's too late. When they died, the lawyers gave my BIL's sister (we will call her B) a chance to take the kids, and she didn't want them. (She had recently gotten married, and her husband didn't want kids. She doesn't even like kids, she only agreed to be the guardian because I was too young, his parents didn't want the kids, and my parents aren't the most stable people in the world) Also, we lived about 4 blocks away from each other, so the kids haven't had to change school, lose friends, anything like that. I was a part of their daily lives before they lost their parents. B saw the kids once a year, at Christmas, because she lives in California.
BUT... my SIL and hubby were VERY well off. BIL had an awesome job with the state, and my sister has always had an awesome head for investing. They lived far below their means, and saved pretty much everything they made... so unknown to anyone (I didn't even know!) they had a nest egg of almost 5 million. (!!!) Their will said that their estate was to go to their children. So when the house sold, vehicles, etc. it was all put into an account for them. as far as anyone knew, the kids were only inheriting a couple hundred thousand, which was put into a trust for them to get upon entering college, or 21 years of age. Then about 7 months ago, we found out about the nice little nest egg. (I don't know why they only just now found it...) I didn't tell anyone about it, and it's already in the same trust fund, but 1/2 of the interest from the fund goes into a separate account that we use for medical bills, counseling, etc. Pretty much, it's their 'well-being' fund. We DO NOT use it for ourselves, or even our household bills. (It's the setup my sister and her husband wanted, to be sure their kids were well taken care of) When the trust is distributed to the kids, they also get any money that is in the 2nd account. I don't know how B got wind of this, but she did. And now, all of a sudden, she has a burning desire to take the kids from me. She claims that she was in 'emotional turmoil' when she had the chance to get them before, but that she's 'better now'. Right. Over the last 3 years, she hasn't seen the kids once. She has always said that it's 'too painful' to see them. It wasn't until she somehow found out how much money the interest account collects that she decided she wants them. My lawyer has built up (as far as I know) a good case... but she still has the will on her side. We are going to start the court proceedings in the next couple of weeks, but I am so scared that I am going to lose my kids! I was just wondering if anyone has had to fight for custody against a will? How did it turn out?
Well... Court date set for the 15th... Wish me luck!
Document all calls, letters, emails, texts, etc...
Keep all bills and receipts.
Hire an attorney and FIGHT for custody. My inlaws would pull the same thing for as little as $10,000.Protect the children.
If money is the motivator...I would speak to an attorney and some accountants. Get the nest egg so buried that the kids can't touch it until well into adulthood. If your family is aware there is NO WAY HUMANLY POSSIBLE to touch the $$$...their interest should simmer. I would tie it up 100 ways legally..and make sure they are very aware it can NEVER be attained.
I wish you luck!!!
I agree... while it's still under your control... if at all possible get the 1.25mil each tied up in individual trusts that only pays out at age 25-27 except for college tuition & private school tuition paid directly to the school. UNTOUCHABLE money. Absolutely tied up. Which should send the vultures packing.
If at all possible see if the children's therapist could testify on their behalf. I can't imagine the therapist would think it a good idea to uproot these children again. Not only would I hire an attorney exclusively for the children but also an accountant for them. Have the accountant quickly do an audit of the children's funds. Provide receipts as best you can for any and all funds used from their accounts. Have the attorney and accountant consult on the best way to protect the money for the children. I would use the children's money to pay for the attorney and account as it will be for their benefit. I'm sure they could move all of the money into individual trusts for each child that is untouchable until they complete college or turn 25. Have it set up that if God forbid something happen to one of the children their money would be equally split among the remaining children's trust's. I would also have them set up an expense account for the children that their school tuition (if private school), daycare, medical, clothing allowance, sports fees/uniforms, music lessons, and incidentals could be drawn from. The tuition can be automatically deducted from the account and upon submitting receipts the other expenses could be reimbursed from the account by the accountant. (I would require both the account's and your signature on all checks. Do NOT give the accountant exclusive access to the money.) Set it up so that the accountant would audit that account quarterly. Your sister and BIL saved and invested their money to provide for their children. That money is intended to provide for the children and I'm quite sure they would want you to use that money to hire the attorney and accountant to represent those children. Have your attorney draw up a will for you and your hubby clearly stating who will take custody of the children should you both pass. Have all of this in place prior to going to court. The judge will see that you are NOT in it for the money. You have taken the proper steps to ensure the children's future is secure and their funds are protected. They will also see that you have provided third party monitoring of the children's money and as the executor of their estate you have no problem with a third party auditing the accounts to ensure everything is handled in the children's best interests. I would NOT give the SIL the heads up on this. Allow her to spend her money taking you to court. Allow the judge to see her reaction to the money being UNTOUCHABLE....that will most likely make your case for you. I guarantee she will drop the case. She hasn't bothered to see these poor children in years. That alone speaks volumes. You and your husband have provided a stable home for these children. You have tended to both their physical and mental/emotional well being. You've done everything right, they can't possible rule against you. I will keep your family in my prayers. Please update us as I will be worrying about you all until the case is closed.
I have no experience, but this whole thing sounds like a Lifetime movie. I never thought it would actually happen to someone! I"m so sorry you have to go through this. I certainly hope the judge sees reason and can let you keep "your kids." That right there says it all. You called them your kids. They should stay that way.
Sorry I don't have advice, but I just want you to know I'm rootin' for you!
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I'm rootin' for you too! Fight for those angels! No other advice, just ((hugs))!!!!
I REALLY wish I had advice for you. It doesn't sound like your BIL's sister has their best interests in mind at ALL! I truly hope you win your case, and if by some horrible circumstance you don't I hope that the judge makes it very clear that the money can only be used for the kids.
Oh how EVIL money can be. I'm sorry that you're going through all of us. I'm sorry that you lost your sister. The important thing here
are the children. What's in the best interest of the children. The children obviously have a great home and structure with you and our husband. You all have built a great family together.
It's just really sad how your sister is handling all this. I think you might have a good case too. Why change anything else with the children. They already lost their parents. I'm sure they went through a lot of different emotions w/o having them anymore and of course trying to trust again and just being able to do things without their parents is really hard. I'll be praying for you all. I would love to know how it turns out, though. Good luck.
I think it sounds like you have a good case and 3 yrs on her. judges want children to stay in a home they know and not be shifted unless there is a problem. You will have to say that your sister 'told' you that she wanted to change the Will. I think that may work. They will do checks into your budget, etc that you are not spending the children's money. They may check B's too. I think if you have a good lawyer, he can prove she wants the money. Plus, the oldest child may be able to speak for herself and that she wants to stay with you. stay on the straight line until this is over b/c they will pinpoint every little detail of your life.. good luck to you.
I would hope that in TN the laws take into account the children's wellbeng.
Document everything.
Get a lawyer.
Make sure your will states how you want the children taken care of in the even of your untimely passing.
What you have done will play a big role in the courts but their have been incidents where a birthmom has been able to regain custody after 2 and 3 years.
I hope everything works in the best of your kids, be confident, my prayers for you and your family......
This is so complex and hideous for you and the kids.
I would add, to the many voices saying get a good lawyer immediately (it's worth the money), also be sure you get, or your lawyer works with, an attorney who is a specialist in trusts and wills. Trusts can be very complicated and it would be useful to have someone who can learn the terms of the kids' money inside and out -- your attorney's firm might have such a specialist on hand.
B may back down when she is told that even if they get the kids, they have zero access to the kids' money for themselves, and the court will nail them if they spend any of the kids' money on anything other than uses approved in the written trust agreement. In other words, having the kids does not give her access to cash she can just go out and spend. Maybe she doesn't realize that she will end up spending her own money on the kids and household expenses much more than she realizes, just in the course of bringing them up. Go get 'em and good luck!
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Well, at the time the first child was born you were too young to be named. The other kids were not specified and you are now of legal age. She turned them down, you have excelled at parenting them and you are in the same area as what they have always known. You definately have a good case.
This is why it is so important to get this spelled out legally!
no i havent but know that my prayers go out to you. i hope the judge will side on comon since. these children belong with you. maybe the fact that she didn't want them when she needed to step up to the plate will have a big bareing. god bless you for raising your sisters kids. , R.
It is already a good thing that you have the children in counseling, Now since your sister's SIL is going to take this to court to try to take the kids just now because she hears of the money, it wouldn't hurt to hire the kids an attorney for them! It would be an attorney just for them.Sometimes the court will make the kids have an attorney anyways for their best interest and make you guys pay half our you can do it in advance. You can ask your attorney if he/she thinks this would be a wise chose or not! I think the judge would be insane if he makes the kids uproot and make them move with her when she didn't want them before because a piece of paper said. And now when she heard about money she wants them so bad and loves them but hasn't see them or has talked to any of them! The judge will also take into consideration of what the children will have to say about all of this and also see you are not wasting "their" money.Good Luck to the kids and you and your hubby!! I will be praying!
I also want to send blessings your way. I hope that what is in the best interest of the kids wins! Please let us know.
