In-Laws No Longer Speaking to Me

This is your husband's fight. He needs to stand up to his parents/sisters and tell them that they MUST treat you with respect and must be fair to the children you have together, or else your family will not be able to spend time with them. It's as simple as that.

If you took out the word "in laws" and replaced it with "friends", you will easily realize you wouldn't continue a relationship with friends who refused to speak to you (but spoke to your husband), treated your kids poorly, or made anyone in your family uncomfortable. So why are you accepting this from in laws? You are showing your children that mommy can be treated badly, and so can they. That is not a lesson they need.

I'm sure it will be hard, but your husband needs to speak up and deal with this with his parents.

ETA I just noticed a little something in your SWH. Your question touched on the difference in treatment between the two children - one yours and one step. However your SWH laments only about the one.

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ORIGINAL

I'll chime in with the ladies. He doesn't need to be asked, he's already ducking it.

His family, his responsibility. And I mean that both ways.

His parents are his to deal with in these matters.
And his family family (you and the kids) are his to protect (don't let him get the 'guard and protect your heart' tattoo though - joke for Bachelor fans)

I'm sorry, but you are wrong. It IS your husband's fight. He is supposed to rally around YOU and demand that they treat you better. You should not be going on vacation with people who treat you like this.

If you can't get your husband to listen to you, drag him to counseling before it ruins your marriage.

Dawn

Sorry - it IS your husband's fight. It IS HIS job to back you and support you. Period. They are HIS parents. He needs to put a stop to it.

He also needs to talk with his daughter and tell her to stop. If she won't, then he will take the cell phone and computer away so that she can't spread any more vicious lies or rumors about you and your supposed bad deeds.

What you need to do is rise above them and their pettiness. If they can't see through her lies and deception - that's NOT your problem. You keep going and being the best you can be. If she (your SD) starts a problem. You CAN correct her. You CAN remind her of what "REALLY" happened. You can do it in front of the relatives too. It's OKAY to stand your ground. It's OKAY to NOT be a door mat.

You get your husband on board. TONIGHT. You tell him that this has to stop or it will be so bad that the explosion that happens will be nuclear! one thing will just pile on top of the next, resentment will grow and then BAM! One day you will have had enough and EXPLODE!!! You will let all the resentment out and people will be shell-shocked. THAT will be worse than anything. So STOP allowing yourself to be a door mat. Correct her. Get your husband on board. Show him how they treat his OTHER child. Tell him to correct it. NOW. If he can't do it? then he is a mama's boy and not truly committed to you.
YOU are his family now.
YOU have raised his children.
YOU have supported him.

NOW he needs to man up.

I know you say this is not your husband's fight, but I think he should at least be a part of the conversation. He should be supportive of you FIRST, as his wife. Have you told him how you feel?
I think you need to have a sit down with your MIL. Call her, say I really NEED to see you. Meet in a public place, like a coffee shop. Tell her how you feel, ask her if there's something you have done to make her so cool towards you. Some women (ok, a lot of women) expect everyone around them to know what's bothering them without ever saying it. The conversation needs to happen, no matter how uncomfortable it is. You're going to be dealing with these people for the rest of your life.

Yep, yep!! Time for hubs to step up to the plate!!

I agree with Patricia. But I wanted to ask why you have to go on vacation with them? If I were in your situation I would not. Vacations are for pure fun, no drama or feeling tense.

My first thought is, this is your husband's fight. You are his wife, and his parents are disrespecting you. If he won't man up, you'll have to do it. Be civil and kind and place your feelings on the table. Someone needs to break the ice before you go on these trips or otherwise everyone will be miserable. Life is too short to live in misery. Maybe you can gain their insight once the dialogue opens up. Don't be scared - be the one who does the right thing. Good luck!

from past posts it looks like you and your husband arent on the same page regarding his daughter. I think that issue has to get handled first. You have to decide whats good for her together and be united. If she has chores and doesnt do them, he has to set a punnishment and so on. It seems like theres a lot of drama regarding, your husband, his family, his ex, his daughter and you. Soemtimes if that many people think you're the one in the wrong you have to reevaluate and look within. Possibly?

Um, it is also your husbands issue. He needs to say something regarding their treatment of your child together. He also needs to to talk to the SD and find out what is going on. You are a family. You do not stand alone in this matter. And don't let the inlaws off the hook. They owe you an explanation and the respect since you are their relative.

I agree with almost all of them here. Your husband definitely has to do something. Talk to him first.
Talk to him about what your SD is doing. If she won't talk to you anymore, ask DH to talk to her. He is the father. He has some responsibility. Maybe dad and daughter can already resolve something together.
If he doesn't successfully resolve anything, tell him clearly that you would not be interested in doing the vacation, because you clearly feel uncomfortable. Don't let hubby sweet-talk his way out with excuses, and not do anything.

On a slight after-thought, if you've previously been quite friendly with your MIL and SIL, have you tried sitting with them and having a friendly conversation, but asking them openly if they have a problem with you? This way, at least it will be in the open, and you can decide further based on how they react. They should know better to judge an adult based on anything a child might be telling them.

ETA-------------------------
Just checked your SWH that you can't avoid the vacation entirely. If situation doesn't get better and you still are going, make sure you behave just as ever with all people (since no one has come fwd and told you anything). Especially with SD. Be the SM you have always been. Let everyone see and understand that the issue is not you. It is probably SD. If they are wise enough, they'd clear up the act. If they don't, don't sweat about it, but make it clear to hubby that you are still aware of it, and do not approve.

Sadly you will have to speak up and stand up for yourself. You don't have to be hateful about it. Just say what is going on, and try to get it addressed.

Remember this.. feelings are REAL, but often times they are NOT true.

You may be feeling this way, but they actually don't have a problem with you. If they do..and your address it as an adult, maybe it will get cleared up with the miscommunication.

Hi,
Ive been married 5 years and expecting my first baby. My inlaws dont talk to me or like me. In fact DHs siblings have not congratulated us. My DH constantly reminds me to not dwell on it and ignore it as he has. He has sort of cut them off.
Long story short, I feel your pain!
If you dont let your child see you visibly affected by it, perhaps your child may not be as affected by it as you think.