I'm Not Sure What to Do.

I'm a mom of 7, soon to be 8, and from my experience of 2-yr.-olds, I would say it would be extremely traumatic for her, not only to be away from Mom for that long, but to be away from any sense of normalcy for that long. I can't imagine going on vacation with my kids for any longer than 2 weeks without them getting completely out of sorts from being off schedule. But I also am a firm believer that a child shouldn't be away from her mother at that young age any more than necessary, certainly not for 30 days. Children that age have no concept of time, and can't understand that they will see Mommy again in x amount of time. All they know is they're not seeing her, and not seeing her, and not seeing her, and it can really stress them out, especially when they are used to being with you so much, and so regularly. If she were older, and able to understand the time frame, and also be able to enjoy the experience, it would be a different story, but the truth is, I can't imagine her getting much from a 30 day cruise, which seems to me to be geared mostly toward adults. The novelty of being with Dad and grandparents will wear off pretty quickly, as most 2 y.o. I've seen don't cope real well with extended periods without their normal routine. The invitation shows that her grandparents and Dad love her and want to be with her, which is certainly admirable, but I can't imagine this long trip would be in her best interest. Good luck. I can imagine this is a difficult decision for you.

I would NOT do it. It is way too long and she is too young to remember any of the trip. She is also too young to understand the whole concept. The only benefits I see to her going would be for her father and grandparents to spend time with her (but a cruise hardly seems like the ideal setting for that!) and it would give you a break. Is there a chance of meeting up with them at a port of call after the first week to pick her up? That way they would have time with her, but it wouldn't be so long away from you and the comforts of home. Otherwise I would tell them that you feel it would be better to wait until she is older and can remember more of it. And that you are just not ready to part with her for that length of time! Good luck!

I agree with the majority on this one. I have a two year old and would not want her away on a cruise for 30 days. There are plenty of 3 day or even 7 day cruises they can go on if they want to take her. But 30 days is rediculous to take a 2 year old on. I wouldnt even take my 2yr old with me that long!!! We go on week long vacations and she is so out of routine, gets sick or is extremely tired by the time we get back.

Two year olds NEED routine (I know, I have one myself). I think it would be too hard for her. That said, you know her best. Is there any way you could compromise and have her go for the first week and then go fly to wherever she is and bring her home (I know you dont have the cash to do that (from your signature) but would the grandparents be willing to pay for it so they could have her for a week)? Just a thought.

Wow, 30 nights? I don't think I would be able to do that. Couldn't they start out with a shorter cruise. Even if you weren't worried about safety etc a lot of growing and changes happen in a month and I wouldn't want to miss that. I think you have every right not to want her to go or maybe there is a way they could join up for part of the cruise? Good luck.

Wow. I am appalled by many of the answers. Yes. 30 days is a long time and she won't "remember" the trip per se BUT she will be with her father and grandparents. Hello! The comments that she cannot be away from her mother are ridiculous. The real issue is the time involved. I strongly agree that you contact the cruise line and see if there are other children on the trip, what the communications are and other things like where they are, what ports are involved etc. What I do understand and fully support is that if you don't want her to go because it will be too hard on you....that's fine. Just admit it and DON'T feel guilty. Just don't come up with pretend roadblocks to try and hide that fact. There is no reason to feel ashamed if you don't want her to go because you will miss her. In fact, that's the best reason there is.

Hi A.,

I have a 2 y/o and hell no, would I let her go for 30 days. That is way too long to be out of mommy's reach/touch/kisses, smiles, hugs. The cruise can be nice for a few days but 30 days on a ship. There are food poisoning cases at times, and if there is an outbreak of an illness, they are confined until they hit land. She is way too young for this trip-in my opinion. Not to mention how tiring that can be for her, she is still in the age where she needs her naps and enough rest.
If she were 10 or older, then it would be more enjoyable. Thank God I am still married and not have to worry about spending a nite w/o my daughter, kudos to you for doing it for a few days at a time, I wouldn't be able to handle that emotionally. You are a very strong, fair, and good mother I can tell.

Good luck with your decision.

I think 30 days is a long time for such a young child to be out of her regular routine. Kids thrive on routine. Cruises, as I understand it, involve a lot of upheaval - a new place every day or every few days, cramped quarters, food that is different from hers, no room for her toys... all for an experience that she really won't remember.

If it were a week or ten days I'd say let her dad and his family enjoy having her along for their trip. Because honestly it's their trip that she's accompanying them on. But I think 30 days is a bit much. Just my opinion.

The point about being able to come back/get to her on emergency notice is also a good point. As you know kids can get sick suddenly and need quick care. Would you wan to be away from her/her away from you in that case?

Trust your instincts. It's great that you have a trusting relationship with her dad and his family. So I don't think the considerations of what the visitation agreement is or what your state designates for parental vacations should come into it. You guys have an understanding which is you do what is best for your daughter, you get along, you put her interests first. Good for you and good for her!

Two is so young on a boat and to be away from her!!! I could not do it. My parents are actually on a cruise right now! Southern Caribbean! I would be worried on a boat with a 2 year old though. I feel like you have to watch them like a hawk, especially with you not there. Maybe when she gets bigger, but how do you tell them that???

Good luck!

She's too young to be away from her mother for that long. Period! Sure she will have a great experience, but she's 2 and will have time to do that at an appropriate age. I would also say the same if you wanted to take her away for a month. She's too young to be away from either parent. I don't typically respond, but I feel strongly about this.

I am a mom to a 6 1/2 and 9 1/2 year girl and boy. My in-laws also asked last year to take my children on a 10 day cruise. My answer was absolutely not. The way I came to my decision was -god forbid anything happened to them 1. I would never forgive myself for not being there and 2. If something did happen it would take you some time to get to your child. 30 days is a very long time to be away from her mommy even if she is with daddy. I would kindly that that is such a nice suggestion but I feel that she isn't old enough to be away from you that long yet. Hope this helps you to make your decision. Good luck

I split custody with my son's father very close to 50/50. He's now 8, and we still rarely go more than about 4 nights in a row at one house or the other unless it's a special thing like a vacation. When he was younger though, we did far shorter stretches. When kids are younger, they need to see people with more frequency. I think at age 2, going 30 days without seeing you, (or her dad for that matter) would be a mistake if you could possibly avoid it. I think going more than a week tops without seeing either of you would be a mistake. You don't want her feeling abandoned or like she isn't going to be seeing you, or him, again. I think that perhaps the best solution would be for her to join them for part of the cruise, maybe a week, and then you pick her up when they're at port and take her home. (I'm assuming that you taking the cruise also is not an option. I know it wouldn't be for me.) I know that it's important for her to have time with her dad and extended family, but it's also important for her to remain connected with you, and phone calls don't really have the same impact on a 2yo as they do on someone older.

Honestly, I couldn't do it either. I would express to your daughters father that you don't have problems with her safety or anything like that. It's just a very long time to be away from your daughter and your just not comfortable with that. I don't see how he could even argue with that. My husband would know I could never do that if we weren't together. 30days is a very long time. Maybe there will be in port somewhere relatively close after a week or the last week where you could fly to bring her to the ship or get her off. But I couldn't do it either and honestly don't know a soul who could.
Just talk with him and express your feelings on that.
God Bless!

I've been in this situation... and cried a lot. But ultimately, I felt good about letting her go, she had a great time and I feel it would have been selfish of me to stop her from experiencing that.
Good luck...it's not an easy one! If you let her go, maybe it would be a good idea to start doing something new too, yoga , painting, singing lessons, learn a new language, etc

Heck no, i couldnt do it....its so unsafe.....she's only 2...30 nights is way to long to be on a boat & away from mommy

NO way!!! That is way to long.

She is only two years old...still a baby! She needs her mother more than she needs the experience of a cruise. Other opportunities will come along, and she won't be missing out on anything! I say no for now!

Too younge for it!!! No way!

Get some more information. Can you back out at the last minute? If not, when does the final decision need to be made? Contact the cruise line, find out about phone calls, etc. If all that seems OK to you, do a trial run - plan a week or more apart to see how it goes. If you and your daughter both do fine with that, then a month might be OK.

First what does your custody order state. My brother who is divorced custody order clearly states each parent is allowed 1 full week a year to have the children without the other parent butting in. [the children may call the other parent if they wish to] The girls are currently 14, 11, and 7 the parents have a shared custody order. Although it is nice of the grandparents to pay for this type of vacation I think your chilkd is too young to be separated from either of you for a month at this young age unless it was due to illness or military service. good luck

Hi A.,

You mentioned that you think this would be a great experience for you daughter, however she is soooo young and she won't even remember it. It's not like a week long cruise, this is a month. Way too long in my opinion for your child to be away from you and on a cruise that she won't even remember or really care about.

Nope. No way. Not on your life! THIRTY DAYS!!?? I think it's obnoxious that they would even ask. First of all, 2 year olds don't get the concept of time int hat way. You can tell them they are doing something tomorrow, and they can be ok with that, but any further out than that and it's too abstract for them. That being said, there's no way you can explain rationally to a 2 year old that she IS going to be coming home to see her mother and when. Second, how the heck is her father able to get that much time out of work? Finally, I would just say to them that so much of the enjoyment of a cruise is the night life and that they would not be able to have any fun together if one of them was in the cabin every night to put your daughter to bed at 7 and the excursions would be cut short because of nap time and that it would all be too disruptive to her schedule and sense of normalcy.

Hi A.,
I too, was a single mother of a two year old, once upon a time, and had many similar offers from my son's father's family, so I may be a bit biased. Your daughter is two, and you need to look at what is in her best interest, staying with mom, having the comfort of home and routine, or going on a thirty day cruise which she, most likely, will not even remember. If she were 10, I might have a different opinion, but she's two, and I think a month away from you would be more disruptive that beneficial. She will miss dad, of course, but you two could draw him pictures together and talk to him when he calls. She will have many more opportunities in her precious life, don't worry about depriving her out of a trip, and do not feel pressured by his family to send her along. Make up your mind and stick to your guns. It's okay to want her to be with you...I promise!!!!!!

She is too young to really appreciate the experience anyway and it is too long to be away from her mom. Just tell them she can go away when she gets a little older.

To be perfectly honest... your daughter is two. She will not remember any of it. In my opinion the separation from you would be more damaging than anything she would "gain" from going on this cruise.

I'm a single mom also and my son is my entire world. Meaning, when I'm not at work, he is always with me. Always. The only person I let watch him overnight is my mom and my best friend takes him for a few hours. Hence, if my mother offered to take my son on a cruise for 30 days...I would jump for joy. I would have him make me video greetings before he left so that when I got lonely, I could watch them and pretend like he was really talking to me. Then I would sleep late on weekends, do a 30 day bootcamp at the gym, reconnect with my girlfriends and paint the town a few times,maybe even...drumroll please...go on a date for the first time in over two years. When he came back, I would be mommy again, albeit a recharged mommy.
Good luck with whatever decision you chose.

Hi A.,
You've gotten a lot of very good responses - very focused on the separation from you aspect. The reason I would say no if this were my child is that to me, cruises seeem to be much more adult focused - not especially toddler friendly (save for the Disney ones and even those are more appropriate for the school aged set, not two year olds). Friends of mine recently went on a cruise with their daughter (for a few days) and while they did have some things to do during the day like the pool, etc., a lot of the adult entertainment is at night so they felt that they were either confined to their stateroom after their daughter's 7pm bedtime or paying a sitter every night. I think on a shorter cruise, you can find things to occupy a toddler and splurge for evening babysitting, but I couldn't imagine paying a sitter for 30 nights!! Good luck!!

If you are not concerned for her safety or care you should let her go. It will be harder for you to let her go than it will be for her to be there. I have had to let my son go for about 3 weeks to be with his dad when he lived in Washington state and it was worse for me than him. She might not remember the experience when she gets older but she will have a good time and it will be good for her father and grandparents to spend this time with her. It will mean more to them than her. I am sure there are ways to call you at home and Im sure they even have internet so they can take pictures and send them to you so you can see her. I would bet they even have some kind of video conference or web chat or something so you can talk to her. Anyway I know everyone else is telling you to keep her but Im saying let her go.