Okay, so today is my older son's preschool/pre-K Christmas program. The program starts tonight at 7. There have been multiple emails and info sheets sent to parents about the program, but today when I dropped my son off, there was a note taped to all the cubbies regarding dress requirements. My son is supposed to wear black pants, and a white or green button down shirt. This is the first time an outfit requirement has been mentioned, in all the weeks of planning this event, and it is hours before the show. My kiddo's wardrobe does not include any of the items he is supposed to wear, I was going to send him in brown corduroys and a red sweater. Anyway, this seems a bit unreasonable to me, and I really don't want to go buy an outfit my son is going to wear for two hours tonight and likely never again. What do you mamas think?
Second question, my younger son goes to daycare two days a week while I work. On Tuesday this week the owner mentioned that they would be closed the from the 26th of December through the 2nd of January. I was a bit surprised by this, as it was the first I had heard of it, and I'm fairly certain my contract doesn't mention a Christmas break of this length, but I can't find the contract now (of course). Then today she said, nevermind, they would just be closed the 26th and the 2nd, but that if we wanted to send our kids we would be required to pay extra for those days the week after Christmas. My thinking here is if you are open and I have already paid you for childcare for the month of December then why should I have to pay extra for that care on the last two regularly-scheduled days of the month? What does your daycare do? Would this irritate you too, or am I just extra crabby this morning?
Clearly, I need another cup of coffee :)
So, now, after two cups of coffee and a chocolate Pop Tart, I'm feeling much more calm about all of this. My older son will wear something appropriate to the program, though not what was requested this morning by the school. It will be fine, I don't need to stress about it. I will talk to his school director about giving parents a bit of advance notice regarding desired outfits for the future.
I will ask for a copy of my contract when I pick up my younger son this afternoon. It is worth mentioning that his daycare is wonderful in most respects, they take great care of my kid, but they have only been open for about 4 months, and I think may not be sure about everything just yet. Anyway, we will figure that out too, they have been pretty receptive to parental feedback in the past. It was a crazy morning, after a long night with a teething baby and I was a little overwhelmed when I got these two pieces of news, but I think it will all be ok. :)
I appreciate the responses from all of you, thank you and Merry Christmas!
If I was open it was a regular day. I think that I would request a copy of the contract. I think she has to give notice if they are deciding to do something different.
I dunno about the daycare thing. But for the concert tonight, no way would I go buy an outfit this late in the game. I'd put him in dark pants and a white t-shirt if need be. In the end, watching all the kids on stage, it'd be best to have the right COLOR instead of the right style of shirt.
And yes I'd be very annoyed.
Get that coffee mama ;)
It's unreasonable to expect EVERY child to adhere to the dress requirements, I wouldn't sweat it, they just don't want any kid showing up in a Dora the Explorer sweat suit.
Most places do close for 'holiday break', BUT, when I worked in a daycare, I made loads of money 'after hours' (meaning, when the place was closed), by having the parents drop the kids off at my house. I did it with one other girl, so we could watch 8 kids between the 2 of us, it was tons of fun! Ask the teachers if any of them are doing anything similar, they don't get paid over break either and I'm sure they could use the help as well!
Question #1: I would have him wear what you have already. If you truly did just find out about the 'dress' for tonight is, today. That's on them. I can assure there will be several kids NOT dressed as requested.
Question#2: I would bet it does say in the contract they are closed for these specific days, and nothing against you, but this isn't usually a contract that is read from front to back. Find your copy or ask them for one, they should be able to present this and read it there with them. Good luck
As far as the clothing situation I truly understand you frustration my son school did the samething and I'm gonna be honest I brought him the outfit let him wear it for the program and changed his clothes right after and returned it. I'm a little embarassed but it's true. The things they request for these programs are ridiculous and pricey so I did a rent and wear. As far as the daycare thing I have that issue every year and it pisses me off to the max. I feel like daycare is a exceptional business but it is truly a rip off. The are constantly sneaking something in to get extra money while doing less work. I have only met one daycare lady that I feel was every flexible and understanding of the parents need. So I can relate to you post completely.
I'm a Daycare provider and Mom.
1st. school. I hate when they do this. And NO you arn't wrong I would just stick with your original plan. I'm sure there are other parents who are just as annoyed and won't rush out for a special outfit for just one night.
2nd. As a daycare provider I give out on the first of January the whole year of the days I will be taking off. I also keep it posted on the fridge as a reminder. If I have to add a day I give 2 months notice, text them and add it to the fridge. Then remind them 2 weeks before hand. If you have already pd. for the month then NO there should not be any extra $ pd. Talk to her ask to see the contract again. She should have made a copy with your signature on it for her own use. If these days wern't on the original contract point that out. If they were well then just smile and say oops.
This should have been one of the first things they stated - what was to be worn and when it was...I would send him in something as close as I can to what they want, but I wouldn't run out and spend money...unless you have a goodwill store near you!! then you can pick it up cheap and help out too!! :)
As to your day care provider? Ask her for a copy of your signed contract and the dates of closing, etc. as yours doesn't state this...yes, I know you can't find yours...that's when a filing cabinet and a folder labeled day care comes in handy!! :) Mine had the Tax ID on it and our signed contract.
Our day care was Kindercare when my boys went - they aren't closed often...so the week between Christmas and New Years? That would be a normal week for them...yes, they expected less children that week - but really - no extra charges.
The dress code thing always bothers me. My daughter was in choir, and while SHE may have known about her clothing needs, she did not always communicate it to me. I did learn quickly to ASK (she was older though, so much different!) and I also learned that if I did NOT send her in what was asked, she stood out and I felt awful!
I would say, if you have time and have a discount or outlet store nearby, then see if you can find something that would meet the criteria, and if not, don't worry too much about it...are they not going to let him perform if he doesn't meet dress code? Very frustrating!
As for the daycare thing...ummm, I run a home daycare and would NEVER charge more for days I was expected to be open, planned on being open and just felt greedy! Wow!
I do take time off between holidays (not all week, but a few days.) I do get holiday pay and I use vacation time and I always let my parents know months ahead of time what my plan is.
You definitely need to find your contract and see what you signed...but you should not be charged extra for normal, open daycare days, just because she feels like it!
It sounds to me like you need to review her other policies and your contract...if this is how she runs her business, it may be time to move on for you.
What do her policies say for days off and her giving notice to you? Does she use/have vacation time and personal time? Does she get paid holidays? This is all information you should have gotten when deciding to use her. Also, it should state in her policies that she is to give you ample notice when closing, except in emergencies or illness.
Best of luck in this...enjoy your sons concert tonight! I miss those days.
Question 1, yes that is unreasonable for them to give you only hours notice! I would be in the same boat as you. They should have told you that long ago. If you don't have what they are requesting, send him in what you were planning and don't feel bad about it!
Question 2, it really does depend on what the contract you signed says. Maybe when you signed it the holidays were so far off you didn't really pay attention because you figured you'd deal with it later? But if that's not in the contract I would call them on it.
I would be ticked as well!! It's not you that is being crazy but, I would have the other cup of coffee :)
I'm sure if you put your little one in your original outfit, you wouldn't be the only one who does it. It's crazy to do this to parents. I would ask the teacher why was this asked of the parents last minute. Do any of the kids ride a bus, or do all parents pick their children up? Also I wonder how many parents have their child in daycare before/ after pre-k. They aren't getting the notice until it's entirely to late.
The daycare situation, I would ask "Where in the contract does this appear? Could you please show me". If they show you one that doesn't have your sig then ask to see the signed contract of yours on file. You should be able to ask for a copy. If it doesn't state any of this holiday time off or extra expense during the holidays then I would point it out. I would also start looking for another daycare. The days they are closed should be clearly written out in the contract and the only days up in the air should be strictly for inclement weather.
Good luck, and keep us posted on how it all unfolds.
I feel your pain. Not as much late notice as you, but my son's afterschool program is having some event on Friday night. He is supposed to wear black pants, a white shirt, and a winter scarf. I NEVER buy white shirts for my 5-year old...they can never stay unstained. So, now I will have to find a plain t-shirt for him. Also, we live in Florida, so seriously when the hell do you think we actually wear scarves? Sigh...I will try to find something really cheap at Wal-Mart tomorrow.
As for the daycare situation, it really seems late for her to say she wants a week off...
I am Goodwill's favorite customer. Go there and purchase what he needs. Otherwise, your baby will be put in the back of the stage and frowned at by the teachers and other moms.
I am a Dance Teacher who gives a month's notice and still moms send dancers in the wrong stuff. So, I put them in the back of the stage and frown at them and HOPE that they make mom get it right the next time.
If possible, I have extra, old uniform stuff on hand for these kids.
Honestly is the best policy in any issue, I think. It will help with stress management. I would have said something right away in both. For instance, i would have said, "dress requirements? now? I guess we'll try and coordinate what we have because I have none of these things. I hope you like red because that is what we have." Ditto with daycare. Be blunt, light-hearted and honest. "I must have forgotten what your holiday schedule was because this is news to me." etc. Maybe my mouth is too big but I find just saying what I see and feel keeps me from dwelling on it and making it more and more of an issue. Plus more than likely, you aren't the first to respond.
Ridiculous! I totally agree with you and would be steaming mad too! They pulled that outfit requirement on us the first time in middle school for a "concert" (in elementary they just asked for "nice" clothes). It seems other moms who had older kids in the middle school knew this, but this was my oldest, and we had the same VERY late notice. Finding a black skirt at end December a few hours before a concert was not easy since all the frilly Easter dresses were already out. We ended up buying an adult small skirt and I just safety pinned it tighter around her and she wore a white long sleeved t-shirt with sparkles over it. The daycare also sounds like they are abusing the holiday - either you paid for the month or you didn't, but it should not require more money. Very very annoying.
I'm with you. I bet you're not the only one that won't be sending them in the "required" outfit. I've never heard of that, especially for such a young age & not notifying in advance. Even with some notice, I wouldn't feel obligated to buy a special outfit just for that. I would also be irked in the 2nd case, especially with such short notice! I would challenge that, say something to the effect that you didn't see that in the contract, etc. Or at least ask for a copy of your contract. If they are open, why would you have to pay extra?? Sounds like they may be trying to close (some day cares have very few children during that time) but now they are waffling maybe seeing your reaction.
I think you are appropriately outraged by the dress requirement sprung on you the day of the performance. How do they reasonably expect you to have the (a) time to go get the duds, and (b) the money saved up to do so? If I were in your situation, I would dress him nicely in the most compatible stuff he has and inform those in charge that you require at least a week or two notice for such a requirement. If they can't afford you that much notice, you can't comply with their request.
And, I would be most irritated by the daycare issue, too. Closures and additional charges should be written up in the contract (which I realize you don't have) and should also be stated substantially in advance so that you can have time to make alternate arrangements. You might want to use this closure as an excuse to look for a new day care provider.
You are not extra crabby. You want to be treated with the same degree of courtesy and respect with which you typically treat people, and that includes giving them adequate notice of requirements and changes in routine.
You are not nuts. I would be furious about both of these things.
I would send my son in whatever I'd planned to send him in. I'm sure many other kids will not be in dress code since no notice was given. As if people don't have enough to do this time of year, they expect them to run around and buy specific clothes hours before the event.
As for the daycare, it sounds like a small center or in-home center? Most commerical daycares are open that week. I would ask for a copy of the contract with the holiday policy so you can clarify. She should have also mentioned the extra charges at the beginning of the month not halfway through the month. It sounds like she decided at the last minute that she wanted to take a trip and is trying to get out of her responsibilities. If that is the case, I'd be finding another provider. She's not trustworthy.
Go get a big cup of coffee!!! Or better yet, a nice latte!
I would be a bit perturbed by the last minute dress requirement. What are parents supposed to do who work until 6 at night? Hmmm. Ultimately I would probably go to the second-hand store and see if I could find these clothes. It would cost about $3 to $5 and you are done and the damage is minimal. I always flip at the thought that my kid would be the stand out rebel. Totally MY issue, the kids wouldn't care or even notice for that matter.
As far as the daycare, I have no idea what is going on with these daycare people. My friends daycare does this all the time and it just seems so last minute and cumbersome. They should at least give a bit more notice so you can make plans and paying extra is ridiculous!!!
aww he may feel awkward if hes not in uniform with everyone else
Yes, it stinks. You will have to just sit down and do the math. it sounds like you've already paid for the full month of December. So if you will NOT have them there from Dec. 26 to the end of the month - then you need a refund for that portion of the month. If you DO want them there from Dec. 26 to the end, I guess you will have to pay a little extra.
My daycare pulls this kind of thing too. It's so annoying.
