I'm Feeling Really down Today After My OB Appointment.

I was in the same spot as you a year ago. At 26 my hubby and I wanted to conceive for months and were unsuccessful. I wouldn't even get my period for MONTHS at a time. I went to a OBGYN and was diagnosed with P.C.O.S. She was very negative with me and I left in tears. She basically said it was going to be EXTREMELY difficult for me to get pregnant. She said it like nothing with no empathy at all. I went to another OBGYN who was very compassionate, put me on Provera to induce me to have a period and then was put on Clomid 25mg. That didn't work, so we tried 50mg for two cycles and it worked! I am now a mama to a beautiful, healthy three week old baby boy! There is hope for you, don't give up and don't lose hope! :)

Well, maybe it is NOT in God's plan for you to have another and that is an ok thing to wonder about. But it is not ok to feel selfish about wanting another because that is a totally normal feeling. You can't help how you feel. And I do not think God would consider that selfish at all. And would God give man the intelligence to know how to assist in fertility if he didn't want us to use it?

I am in the same boat, and dont have much advice that hasnt already been given...just to tell you I can TOTALLY relate....only I have 1 son (3.3 yrs old) and we have been off BCP for almost 2 yrs....it was this hard with my son too....and Im not ready to give it up yet....not even close, there are times when I throw my hands up , but then i sleep and get back on board with my OB and go for it again....Clomid did not work for me with my son, so we didnt even try that route this time...instead we did another drug called Femara (same idea/results as Clomid...ask your dr. if you decide to go that route)...and it worked with me one time..and am hoping it will work this time. Just got blood results back yesterday about my progesterone levels (get tested each month) after taking the Femara and I have made success in that dept...so slowly and gradually getting there. PATIENCE is definitely a virtue and one Im not always good with. It feels like at time no one understands how frustrating it is, no one ever told us growing up how hard it just might be?! I never realized that me never having regular periods (or even CLOSE to regular) would be an issue when I tried to conceive....I get tired of people saying wow, that would be nice to never have a period! aghhhh Yea I used to love it, but I would take a monthly period ANYTIME and deal with that than to go through this personal battle. And like was said before, PCOS diagnosis wont change anything, just confirm what is already happening in your body. I have those thoughts too, of should I be taking meds for a 2nd one? maybe its just not in the cards for me...but then I look at my 3 yr old son and realize he would NOT be here if I hadnt take the meds for him!

Not sure what else can be said, but hang on, hang in there...PCOS is just a label....find out what steps your OB wants you to take...and feel free to message me for any help/commisery/information! (I am 31 and was "diagnosed" officially with blood tests also probably around 26-27 range) And could go months (6months being the longest, not safe, to have gone without a period, before getting Provera to start it).

Hang on............and TRY your best (hard I KNOW!) to stay positive...

I'm sorry you are in this situation. You wrote that if you get the diagnosis, it will be harder to conceive. But, really, the diagnosis won't change whatever is happening with your body... The diagnosis will just give you answers. What I mean to say is, if you have PCOS already, then getting the diagnosis won't change that. But you might be able to strategize on methods that other women with PCOS have used to get pregnant. So try not to get too down about the diagnosis.

And the diagnosis might help you decide other ways to have a big family instead of always waiting to see if you are. You and your husband could always fill your calling to have a large family through adoption or foster parenting.

Don't feel guilty for having those feelings! My sister felt bad because she couldn't have a 4th and after having 4, I was so upset about my miscarriage thinking that I didn't want to end my fertility on a miscarriage even though we technically weren't planning on having anymore. Those feelings are very real and although other people may not be able to have any at all, you're allowed to grieve over not being able to have more. Ignore comments "at least you can have kids." Of course, you feel blessed and happy about your kids but it doesn't mean that you're not going to grieve over being "finished" too soon! I hope and pray that you're blessed with another little one really soon. Whether you have medical intervention or it happens on it's own, I wish you the best!! Good luck!

You shouldn't feel selfish for wanting another child. Having children, in spite of what some people believe, is a pretty selfless thing, especially when they come to good homes with parents who actually love them, want them, and will sacrifice for them willingly. As tempting as it is to see your physical state as a sign about whether you should or shouldn't have more children, my advice is to do what you can within reason to find out what's happening with your body, and then be at peace (I know, easier said than done sometimes!). The important thing is not to let it override your joy of your children with you here and now and to take comfort in them when you are discouraged. It's so easy to miss the beautiful moments when we are consumed by worries and stress. And so you don't think I'm just sitting here throwing around advice, this response is coming just a week after a D&C for the second consecutive miscarriage for a pregnancy we very much wanted. Like you, I don't know if we will have more children, but the grief and disappointment are greatly relieved by taking time to love on and play with my kids. Each day with them (no matter how hard) is a blessing.

I'm guessing that you initially wanted to have 3 children, the first two happened without any problems and kind of made your decision easier, but now, here comes the thought of having #3 but with all the tests and nothing going on, you are beginning to wonder if you should even continue and get your feelings crushed again.

I would say take a deep breath, revisit the idea WHY you wanted 3 in the first place (finances, siblings, etc) and let that be your foundation for how you move forward. You might decide after all this that you can be satisfied with just 2 or you might get motivated again to have #3.

I think you are just disappointed for today and the negative results after such high expectations that I believe will pass. Get some rest and rethink again. All the best. If it is to be, it will be and if you want it bad enough God knows your heart and it will happen when the time is right.

Some words of encouragement--I also have PCOS and a pituitary tumor. I was determined to have children and I married late in life. I had my first child at 37 and my second at 39. I have an AWESOME OB and she knew that if I could will it to happen I would. With my first child, I was on glucophage and Femara and I was able to conceive. I did the same thing the second time around and it did not work. So, I went to my fertility specialist and had an HSG performed. I was pregnant the next month. You are very young, just give it some time :) Everyone is different and just because these things worked for me, does not mean that you will have to do the same. However, I was always looking for options and hope. Let me know if I can give you any additional info.

I have PCOS too. I was put on Metformin for 18 months. During that time, I took Clomid, provera and follistim shots. We did two inseminations, one produced a pregnancy that was ectopic. We stopped all fertility treatments, I lost 30lbs, got acupuncture once a week and in 3 months - no drugs - got pregnant. We now have a happy and healthy 21 month old son. I know its hard - hang in there and just know that you are not alone.

When God closes a door, he always opens a window :)
If you can't conceive, and you really want a big family, maybe you are being called to adopt. Sometimes I wonder if that is His way of working things out for both parents who want more and children who have no one.

Don't feel guilty about feelings, they are what they are. I can totally relate though, when I was grieving the loss of a pregnancy (my fourth miscarriage) a cousin of mine who can't get pregnant told me "It could be worse. You're lucky to have two already." It's not that I don't feel blessed for the children I already have, of course I do. It's because I love them so much and enjoy my time with them that I want more! Also, when you have a plan, or idea, or assume your family will look a certain way and then you are told that things will be much different than you expected, it is a LOSS - that's what those sad feelings are about, and they are totally valid! I am trying desperately to let go of wanting a third child, but no luck yet.... it's just where I am in life right now, and that's ok.

If I remember correctly, you are very young. Twenty-four or so? That means you have many, many years left in which to conceive.

I am in a similar boat to you. I have a beautiful 2.5 year old son, but I would like child #2 and wouldn't mind a #3. I have not been having periods on my own since before my son was born. I have been back and forth to the doctors and even saw a fertility doctor. My husband is uncomfortable with doing the procedure he suggested since multiples is a possibility and for my health's sake of carrying multiples at my age. I am 38 which I realize is not "old", but in the world of getting pregnant it is considered high risk anyway. We also have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me, to no avail, I am just not having periods and they can not jump start them for me. They have tried.

I have had to let go of this issue in my life and realize that God has the plan, and He will decide what will happen for us. I so hope for #2, but I don't know what is in the plan for us. I know this may not help, but wanted you to know that there are others out there struggling like you. But luckily for you, you are so young and have a lot of time. I admit I often feel guilty for wanting #2 so bad when I know there are others out there who are trying for their first with no luck. Because like you I am so blessed with the son I have. I wish you luck, and just trust He does have a plan for you and your family.

Why don't you consider adoption ??? There are so many children all over this world NEEDING a family to take care of them. My biggest regret is not doing this myself. I am now too old to biologically have any more kids (down's syndrome is a very real possibility when you are older) and to be truthful I don't think I have the energy now to take care of another baby full time. BUT now looking back on my life (I have 3 biological children) I wish I really did adopt many children from this world, I would highly recommend you checking into this. I think people get so hung up on 'I have to have my OWN kids so they look like us' which is ridiculous. I wish I had a baby from Korea, Africa, Cambodia, many different places. Biggest regret..... I hope you don't look back later on when you are my age and realize that too.

I scanned the first couple of responses and stopped so what I say may already be said.
We want what we want and it's hard to "be happy with what you have". You had a plan for your life. A vision of what you wanted it to be. It's ok to be sad that it isn't turning out the way you wanted. It's not ok to hide under the covers for days on end drunk and feeling sorry for yourself :) but it's ok to be sad sometimes.
Whether you choose to be happy with what you have, adopt, us assisted reproductive technology or whatever, it's ok to still be sad that it didn't all fall into place.
I always knew I wanted to be a mom. It took 7 years of trying and one round of invitro to conceive ( I view invitro as God given technology to help us help ourselves). We now have three beautiful daughters. We had talked to an adoption attorney. While I knew I would love an adopted child as much as one I gave birth too, I was sad that I wouldn't have "what everyone else had". Our family wouldn't look alike. We wouldn't have shared physical family history. I wouldn't get to experience pregnancy. Yes, we would be happy. We would be a full and complete family but I would have to adjust to the change that came from my life not turning out the way I planned. Some can say, grow up, life is hard, blah blah blah but your feelings are your feelings and should be respected!